


you think you're smarter than me, with all your bad poetry

by drunkspacearchivist



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, American author, Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Autistic Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Canon-Typical Worms (The Magnus Archives), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, Happy Ending, I Did It Guys I Wrote A Chat Fic, More characters coming - Freeform, Multi, My need for validation outrules my need for a plot so, No beta we kayak like Tim, Pining, Sasha James Is All-Knowing (but not in the creepy way), The Mechanisms Were The Archivist's College Band, Trans Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Trans Melanie King, Trans Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), appearances from other avatars, canon-atypical communication, group chat shenanigans, neither of those are very important to this fic but they're both very important to me, so much pining, starts in season one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:13:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 61,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26207722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunkspacearchivist/pseuds/drunkspacearchivist
Summary: it's tim time: okay so I’ve been thinkingsasha! at the disco: was it hard?it's tim time: stfu sasha this is seriousOr, an alternate universe where nothing bad happens because they have a group chat and so they communicate. And pine desperately for each other. And pull pranks on Elias. And light things on fire. And send memes. You know, normal human group chat stuff.Title from Alphabet Boy by Melanie Martinez
Relationships: Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James/Tim Stoker
Comments: 803
Kudos: 1069





	1. Tim Has An Idea

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact about me: I've been writing chat fics for years but this is the first one I've published. hope you have as much fun with this as I do! Comments and kudos always ~~categorized and filed away so that one day I can use this fic to feed you all to the Web~~ appreciated!

**it’s tim time** _has created a group chat_

**it's tim time** _added_ **sasha! at the disco** _to the chat_

**it's tim time** : _added_ **there’s a dog loose in the archives** _to the chat_

**it's tim time** : _renamed the chat “Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever”_

**it's tim time** : okay so I’ve been thinking

**sasha! at the disco** : was it hard?

**it's tim time** : stfu sasha this is serious

**it's tim time** : I was thinking about what happened to martin

**it's tim time** : and how we didn’t notice

**sasha! at the disco** : and what horrible people we are? Yeah me too

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : Nooo guys I already said it was okay!! You didn’t know!! Prentiss had my phone you guys thought it was me it’s just a misunderstanding 

**it's tim time** : exactly that’s my point

**it's tim time** : we didn’t know enough about you to recognize that something was wrong with the texts and that SUCKS

**it's tim time** : like for the first week or so we were all like “let’s do drinks and movie nights and be friends” and we didn’t do any of that

**it's tim time** : so we’re going to start now!

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : Oh okay yeah!

**sasha! at the disco** : that’s actually a good idea. this way if someone else gets taken then we’ll know right away

**it's tim time** : I know it’s a good idea I thought of it

**it's tim time** : and I’ve got the perfect idea to kick off our new friendship!

**sasha! at the disco** : it better not be an orgy

**it's tim time** : but sasha we all need to be connected

**it's tim time** : lol jkjk 

**sasha! at the disco** : was...

**sasha! at the disco** : was that a stephen king reference?

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : yay child gangbanging am i right?

**sasha! at the disco** : my favorite <3

**it's tim time** : seriously tho my idea is

**it's tim time** : drumroll please!

**it's tim time** : I’m not hearing any drum rolling!

**sasha! at the disco** : we’re not in the archives Tim.

**it's tim time** : ugh fine I’ll be my own drumroll

**it's tim time** : 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

**it's tim time** : archive sleepover!

**sasha! at the disco** : i’m not sleeping in the archives. no way

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : there’s definitely not enough space for everyone to sleep in the archives tim sorry tho it was a good idea sorry

**it's tim time** : :( :( :( :(

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : It was a good idea! In theory!

**it's tim time** : yeah yeah ur right tho

**sasha! at the disco** : drinks? friday?

**it's tim time** : i’m always down for drinks

**sasha! at the disco** : Martin? Tim’s buying the first round

**it's tim time** : bitch what

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : I can probably stay for a little bit

**it's tim time** : what do you want to spend more time in the archives? ew why did I think a sleepover was a good idea. we gotta get you out of there marto. it’s pretty much hell.

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : It’s not that bad, Tim!

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : And truthfully I just don’t fancy the idea of third wheeling all night with you guys

**sasha! at the disco** : ooh sis snapped

**sasha! at the disco** : Martin I promise you I will pay attention to you <3 <3

**sasha! at the disco** : we are all friends now and by the laws of this hellish kingdom, no one shall be left out

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : No no it’s okay! I’ll come! I’m sure it’ll be fun

**it's tim time** : if you want I could make it even more awkward and invite jonny sims

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : No! It’s! Okay!

**it's tim time** : haha too late

**sasha! at the disco** : TIM

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : TIM

**it's tim time** : chill my homies he said no

**sasha! at the disco** : call me your homie again. see what happens. which knife I use

**it's tim time** : okay okay jesus

**it's tim time** : so it’s a no go for big bossman but a yes from sasha and a yes from martin with a clause that turns me into the third wheel

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : Wait did you actually ask Jon?

**it's tim time** : yeah!

**it's tim time** : he looked at me like I grew a second head and then just slowly said “no thank you tim go back to work” and I said “okay boss you’re missing out” and he said “I’m sure I’ll be fine” but he sounded mad at the last bit so I just left

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : Oh :( okay then.

**sasha! at the disco** : hey I’m almost at this guy’s house I’ll talk to you guys later

**there's a dog loose in the archives** : Same here

**it's tim time** : okay have fun talking to the crazies haha

**sasha! at the disco** _to_ **it's tim time** :

**sasha! at the disco** : fuck

**sasha! at the disco** : can we all talk about Jon for a minute? 

**sasha! at the disco** : I know I didn’t really know him that well but… I’m worried about him, honestly. Like he used to go out for drinks sometimes. Not often but still sometimes he’d come. Now? He has a cot in the archives? which works out great for Martin’s situation but is still not something a normal person should have.

**it's tim time** : fact- he’s not qualified for the job and it should have been yours 

**it's tim time** : but seriously tho? I worked with him a few times in research and fuck. he used to be really funny. he used to smile. I legit considered asking him out but he’s straight so that wasn’t happening. I feel like I’m watching a man’s midlife crisis.

**sasha! at the disco** : no, it’s more like a mental breakdown. I don’t even care about the job anymore, it’s just sad now. my heart breaks for him. he needs a girlfriend or a cat or something. something not archive-related to focus on.

**it's tim time** : fuck fuck fuck

**sasha! at the disco** : What’s wrong?

**it's tim time** : you said “my heart breaks for him”. that means you’re working on some plan to help him. which means I’m gonna have to help you because I can’t say no to you because you know where I live and you have knives

**sasha! at the disco** : aww you know me so well!! <3 <3

**it's tim time** : if jon’s stubborn arse is part of it, I want payment of some kind

**sasha! at the disco** : I’m paying you by not stabbing you

**it's tim time** : ugh fine I’ll see who’s single in research

**sasha! at the disco** : no no don’t that’s stupid

**sasha! at the disco** : if we want to help him, it needs to be someone outside of the institute. plus I am not one hundred percent sold on your “jon is straight” theory.

**it's tim time** : proof?

**sasha! at the disco** : well if he’s hot enough to get both me and you to talk to him, he’s gotta have some sort of magic

**it's tim time** : okay fair

**sasha! at the disco** : he’s got a general closed-off-ness to his whole personality but I’ve seen those walls come down at least a little bit before. my personal guess is that he’s either an asexual biromantic who has an ex from uni he was certain he was going to marry who he probably had a cat with and wouldn’t mind reconnecting with as a friend, or he’s the kinkiest bi fucker out there but he hides it because he was raised by his grandmother who taught him sex before marrige would cause him to immediatly explode.

**sasha! at the disco** : oh and also he’s trans

**it's tim time** : OKAY I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT THE TRANS VIBE

**it's tim time** : DO YOU NOTICE? WHEN ELIAS COMES DOWN TO TALK TO HIM?

**sasha! at the disco** : His voice drops a little?

**it's tim time** : YES I KNOW THAT I DO THAT

**it's tim time** : THAT’S SO HARD TO UNLEARN FUCK

**sasha! at the disco** : I thought I was imagining that! But yeah!

**it's tim time** : FUCK

**it's tim time** : relationship ended with str8 jon theory, trans jon theory is my new best friend

**sasha! at the disco** : me, to martin-aww you won’t third wheel why do you think that?  
also me: has this conversation

**it's tim time** : okay but I’ve known you since I started working at the institute and we’re also totally secretly in love with each other we’re like legit friends not work friends

**sasha! at the disco** : yeah! you’d notice if I was trapped in my flat by worms for a week!

**sasha! at the disco** : also we’re not in love

**it's tim time** : ouch okay okay

**it's tim time** : I do want to be friends with martin but like… oof that boy’s got some trauma he needs to stop projecting onto all of us

**sasha! at the disco** : yes but so do you

**it's tim time** : wdym??

**sasha! at the disco** : “my boss lowers his voice .2 percent when talking to his boss he must be trans”

**it's tim time** : okay first of all you brought that up secondly too far

**sasha! at the disco** : you mentioned the voice thing? but I’ll stop

**it's tim time** : I get your point. 

**sasha! at the disco** : I didn’t mean to actually hurt your feelings, Tim. I’m sorry.

**it's tim time** : I’m fine. You didn’t hurt my feelings.

**sasha! at the disco** : Yes I did you’re using correct punctuation and capitalization so I’m sorry I took it too far  
 _Read at 13:22_

**sasha! at the disco** : I’m on my way back.  
 _Read at 14:43_

**sasha! at the disco** : I think we should try to convince Jon to come to drinks. See if we can get him to open up a bit.  
 _Read at 14:49_

**sasha! at the disco** : Tim?  
 _Read at 14:53_


	2. drinks drinks drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **it's tim time** : all hail jonny sims, the sexiest prick to ever walk the earth
> 
>  **there's a dog loose in the archives** : He’s not a prick though?
> 
>  **sasha! at the disco** : Martin he treats you like shit?
> 
> Or drinks and lost love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos always appreciated!

**sasha! at the disco** _to_ **it’s tim time** , _11:32_

 **sasha! at the disco** : Can we do lunch when you get back? I really want to talk to you. I don’t like when we’re not talking, Tim.

 **it’s tim time** : okay

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever** , _18:12_

 **it’s tim time** : drinks drinks drinks

 **it's tim time** : drinks drinks drinks

 **it's tim time** : drinks drinks drinks

 **sasha! at the disco** : drinks drinks drinks

 **there's a dog loose in the archives** : drinks drinks drinks

 **it's tim time** : tonight tonight tonight

 **sasha! at the disco** : tonight tonight tonight

 **there's a dog loose in the archives** : tonight tonight tonight

 **sasha! at the disco** : and!!! I got Jon to come! it took a lot of guilt tripping but he’s coming!

 **it's tim time** : jon jon jon

 **there's a dog loose in the archives** : Jon Jon Jon

 **it's tim time** : all hail jonny sims, the sexiest prick to ever walk the earth

 **there's a dog loose in the archives** : He’s not a prick though?

 **sasha! at the disco** : Martin he treats you like shit?

 **there's a dog loose in the archives** : No he does not??

 **it's tim time** : yes he does??

 **there's a dog loose in the archives** : I’ve had a lot worse???

 **sasha! at the disco** : now we don't have time to unpack all that

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : He’s letting me stay in the Archives, and he’s a lot more worried about Prentiss/me/statement givers in general than he lets on. Kind of guarded and shy? Yes. Prick? I don’t think so.

 **it’s tim time** : OH MY GOD

 **sasha! at the disco** : he’s entitled to wrong opinions Tim :)

 **it’s tim time** : MARTIN DO YOU REMEMBER OUR EARLIER CONVERSATION

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Which one?

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Oh.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Oh no.

 **it’s tim time** : don’t worry marto, your secret’s safe with me haha

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : I believed you until the haha

 **it’s tim time** : no really you can trust me!

 **sasha! at the disco** : you like Jon? of all people, Martin?

 **it’s tim time** : of course I can’t stop sasha from figuring it out by herself she is an intelligent woman

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Great! If you need me, I’ll be anywhere but at drinks.

 **sasha! at the disco** : no no Martin we will not tease you in front of Jon

 **it’s tim time** : yeah I don’t have much tact but I have a little

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Ugh fine let me get my coat.

 **sasha! at the disco** : actually can you get Jon too? ;) ;) ;) I’m already at the bar and if someone doesn’t drag him out he probably won’t come. 

**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Life hack- If you don’t talk to people, they can’t make you talk to your stupid hot boss

 **it’s tim time** : don’t worry I already got him.

 **it’s tim time** : thought I was the last one so I made sure he didn’t forget

 **it’s tim time** : he is insisting we wait for you martin ;) ;) ;)

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Aaa I am coming

 **Jonathan Sims** _to_ **Georgie Barker** , _21:49 ___

__**Jonathan Sims** : Hello, is this still Georgie? This is Jonathan Sims._ _

__**Georgie Barker** : Yeah it’s me! It’s been a while. How are you, Jon?_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : I’m fine. Really busy. Our office is kind of getting stalked right now but besides that I’m good. How about you? _ _

__**Georgie Barker** : aiodfjasidfiefsj only you could be so casual about being stalked_ _

__**Georgie Barker** : Honestly? Pretty bad. My podcast is not making a lot of money, and I think I unintentionally caused my best friend's mental breakdown._ _

__**Georgie Barker** : Wow, I’m sorry for dropping all that on you out of nowhere. Not really sure why I did that._ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Well, I did tell you I was being stalked, so we’re even now._ _

__**Georgie Barker** : Woah woah you said your OFFICE was getting stalked._ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Well technically it’s both? She’s targeting the Institute, specifically the Archive Staff, which includes me._ _

__**Georgie Barker** : Oh yeah, I forgot you worked at that Magnus place! I thought you were a researcher though?_ _

__

__**Jonathan Sims** : I was. I got promoted recently, I’m the Head Archivist now._ _

__**Georgie Barker** : lol not to be rude but why? I went to uni with you, I know you’re not qualified for that._ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : I… don’t actually know. Elias said something about me being already on track to be the perfect Archivist, whatever that means. _ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : The popular theory is that the previous Archivist wanted Sasha James, one of my coworkers, to have the job, and so Elias picked me because of sexism._ _

__**Georgie Barker** : The perfect Archivist is just two librarians stacked on top of each other in a trenchcoat._ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : I’m laughing so hard right now my coworkers look concerned_ _

__**Georgie Barker** : Jonathan Sims are you socializing?!_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : They forced me._ _

__**Georgie Barker** : Alrighty that’s it these names are killing me._ _

__**Georgie Barker** _changed their name to_ **Nastya Rasputina**_ _

__**Nastya Rasputnia** _changed _**Jonathan Sims** _name to_ **Jonny D’Ville**___ _

____**Nastya Rasputina** : That’s so much better._ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : How?_ _ _ _

____**Nastya Rasputina** : It makes me feel better._ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : Fair enough._ _ _ _

____**Nastya Rasputina** : Okay so not to sound rude, but why are you texting me? Like why now?_ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : Ah, yes._ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : So I was guilt tripped into coming to staff drinks, and we ended up talking about lost loves_ _ _ _

____**Nastya Rasputina** : Jon, I’m flattered, but I’m not interested in getting back together._ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : What?_ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : Oh! No! Typo!_ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : We were talking about lost *pet* loves_ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : I was wondering how The Admiral was doing._ _ _ _

____**Nastya Rasputina** : Oh thank god._ _ _ _

____**Nastya Rasputina** : *Photo Attachment* _(A fat, gray cat with a squashed face sitting on a pale brown couch, glaring at the camera)__ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : Thank you._ _ _ _

____**Nastya Rasputina** : Oh no no no, Jonny. I do not want the next time I talk to you to be The Admiral’s funeral._ _ _ _

____**Nastya Rasputina** : I may not be interested in you romantically, but I miss you. You were one of my best friends._ _ _ _

____**Nastya Rasputina** : At the very least, come over and see The Admiral, since he’s your lost pet love._ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : I miss you too, Georgie._ _ _ _

____**Jonny D’Ville** : I’ve got this strange feeling. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but I have a feeling that I’m about to go through a period in my life where I need to trust people. You know how much I hate trusting people, but it’s easy with you. I’d love to be your friend again, if you’ll have me._ _ _ _

____**Nastya Rasputina** : Oh yeah you’re drunk. But I’ll take you anyways._ _ _ _


	3. Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Jonny D’Ville** : Martin is not attractive in any way
> 
>  **Jonny D’Ville** : And even if he was attractive I’m his boss
> 
>  **Jonny D’Ville** : Technically his boss
> 
>  **Jonny D’Ville** : And so it would be morally wrong to pursue a relationship with him.

**Nastya Rasputina** _to_ **Jonny D’Ville** , _9:34_

 **Nastya Rasputina** : So tell me about your coworkers 

**Jonny D’Ville** : Why?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Because I’m avoiding editing the newest WTG episode

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Ahh I see.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : also how hungry oven are you rn?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : *hungover 

**Nastya Rasputina** : Jesus Christ

 **Jonny D’Ville** : What, are you drinking at 9:30 in the morning?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : No mate I can’t do that I’m not twenty anymore

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Fair

 **Jonny D’Ville** : And actually it’s not that bad. I didn’t stay for very long so I didn’t drink that much. 

**Nastya Rasputina** : lol that’s good

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Now tell me about the coworkers you got drinks with

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Why do you care who they are?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I want to know about my new friends

 **Jonny D’Ville** : ?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I am gaining friends through osmosis 

**Jonny D’Ville** : Why did I contact you again?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : _sent an image_ (Someone’s, presumably Georgie’s, lap, covered in a red blanket with snowmen on it. The same fat, grey cat with a squashed face from earlier sleeps on top)

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Touché 

**Jonny D’Ville** : Okay, first there’s Sasha. Should have been the Head Archivist, probably. Down to earth, reliable, extremely intelligent, pretty sweet but from my understanding she also has a large collection of knives. Very good with computers. Also, she’s scarily good at guessing things, usually down to the exact detail. 

**Nastya Rasputina** : I love her. She’s my wife now.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Shush

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Stop being gay

 **Nastya Rasputina** : This is biphobia

 **Jonny D’Ville** : and you not letting me talk is transphobia, square up son

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Did you just quote a meme???

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Jonathan Sims what kind of eldritch cryptid have you become?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Next up is Tim. Very openly bi, has flirted with me on multiple occasions. Makes a lot of jokes and references. Rather intelligent as well, but he has a tendency to flirt his way to private information. 

**Nastya Rasputina** : did you go out with him?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : He never asked, and he’s not really my type anyways.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Yeah he doesn’t sound like it.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : But is he cute?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : ...Yes.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : And then there’s Martin and that’s it.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Is that all I get about Martin?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Trust me you don’t want more.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Ah shit

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Homophobic?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : No not like that

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I just don’t like him

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Why not?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : You’ve been typing for two minutes

 **Nastya Rasputina** : What have I unleashed? 

**Nastya Rasputina** : You’re still typing I’m scared

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I’m actually not sure.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : THAT’S IT?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I WAIT IN TERROR FOR FIVE MINUTES WHILE YOU WERE TYPING AND THAT’S IT?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I mean he’s not qualified for his job? But neither am I? He also faced the woman that’s stalking us alone and he didn’t die somehow? Also he doesn’t seem like a bad person, he’s just not the smartest guy but I mean he’s not stupid he’s of average intelligence but sometimes it just seems that way because Sasha and Tim and I are all really smart?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : So I don’t know.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Oh I know why you don’t like him!

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Oh? Enlighten me.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I can feel the sarcasm radiating off of that text message 

**Nastya Rasputina** : But have you considered the possibility that the reason you don’t like Martin is that you’re attracted to him?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : No absolutely not.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : That is not it.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Martin is not attractive in any way

 **Jonny D’Ville** : And even if he was attractive I’m his boss

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Technically his boss

 **Jonny D’Ville** : And so it would be morally wrong to pursue a relationship with him.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Besides I am far too busy trying to clean up the mess of an archive to possibly consider being in a relationship right now

 **Jonny D’Ville** : And I’ve honestly been quite rude to him so he probably doesn’t like me as a person, let alone romantically

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Even if he does bring me tea every day and forces me to go home at a semi-reasonable hour and looks directly at me in that way that makes it seem like there’s nothing else he’d rather look at, he probably hates me

 **Jonny D’Ville** : And it is okay that he hates me. In fact, it’s good. 

**Jonny D’Ville** : And I don’t find him attractive so I don’t need to worry about what he thinks of me anyways 

**Nastya Rasputina** : ...

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Well.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I’ve got to go edit that episode now.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I’m not attracted to Martin!

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Okay, I believe you.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I don’t think you do.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Can I ask you one more question before I go?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : You just did.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Go ahead though.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : ...This is why we broke up.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : But in all seriousness Jon.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Are you safe?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Because you said something about Martin “not dying” when he met the woman that’s been stalking you.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Objectively speaking, yes. 

**Nastya Rasputina** : That doesn’t make me feel better, Jon.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : There are no direct threats to my life. If Prentiss attacked us she would attack the Institute. And I don’t actually think that Gertrude Robinson (my predecessor) was murdered. Am I safe? Probably a little less safe than the average person, but every life has risks. Mine just happen to be a little more imminent, but I’m not worried.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : There is literally so much to unpack in that, but... If you say you’re alright, I trust you.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Just know if you need help, I’m here.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Of course. Now go edit your episode.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Gross don’t remind me.

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever** , _10:56_

 **sasha! at the disco** : as per last nights agreement!

 **sasha! at the disco** : there is a hot guy at the cafe by my flat.

**sasha! at the disco** : s̷̼̝̻̱͉͎͍̝̗͓̭͔̯̦̉̑̄̄̃̅́͝͝e̶̙̰̣͔̹͎͍̾͗̒̋̑͆́̌̌̃̇̊͌͛͝n̴̢̩̰̮͚̝̞̥͚̰̒̉̒̇̄͗͒̾̉̚ͅt̷̡͚͖͕͎͎̮͙̬͝ ̷̨͎͈̩̤͇͈̳̹͚̜̍̄̈́̌̃́̃́͝ă̸͈̩͎̺͇͛͑̉̀͑̅͜ṉ̷̨̧̲̱̤̥͔͙͔̭̭̣̃̊̈́͠ͅ ̷̨̛̻̦̟̗̫͋̌͗̚ͅͅi̸̮̳̤̼̱̪͙̺̬̪͇͈̿̎̓̓͗̿̋͜ͅͅm̴̟͓̺̗̼̣͍̱̑̓͐̏̿̇̀̃̔̏͒́̈̍͒̕a̶̹̦͔̟̙͇͕̣̳̠͐͒̈́̓̐͆̈́̇͊́̐̚g̴̨̡̡̙͎̰̭̝̦̝̜̥̩̝͍̅̇͆͒̀e

**it’s tim time** : what the fuck?

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : My whole phone just crashed trying to open it?

 **it’s tim time** : so did mine?

 **it’s tim time** : sasha whatever you do don’t go talk to that guy

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Please do not become a statement giver it is not as cool as it sounds

 **sasha! at the disco** : T̴̼̬͇͙̭̫̭̖͔̥̦̑̅̍̆̍͌͌̂̉̀̑̈̾͘͠o̸̱̱̻̞̫̬̝̙̥̭͊̒̉͋́̅͠ô̶͍̲͔̫̬̜͇̞͔͂̊̽̅͆̃̏͂͝ ̸̢͖͙̮̫̺͓̤͚̻̒̐̿̽́͋̀̍̃͋̽̈͘̕l̸̖̆̉̂a̴̡͈̩̙̹̘̠̕͜ẗ̸̢̧̻͇́̐̓́̆̆̽̊̊̌͗̆͑̿͝e̴̪̪̬̼̘͕̓͂̊̀̇.̶̤̒͐͌͗̋͂͑̆̆


	4. I Love You (But Not Like That)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **it’s tim time** : i’m not pouting :(
> 
> **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : You literally just added a frowny face
> 
> **sasha! at the disco** : ^^^^

**Sasha James** _to_ **Jonathan Sims** , _22:58_

**Sasha James** : Hey Jon, are you still awake?

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes.

**Sasha James** : Great! Can you come to my flat and help me? 

**Jonathan Sims** : Sasha.

**Jonathan Sims** : No offense, but this seems very out of character for you, and it wouldn’t be the first time someone pretended to be one of my archive assistants over text message

**Sasha James** : No don’t worry I’m not Prentiss.

**Sasha James** : Just if I asked Tim or Martin they’d freak out.

**Jonathan Sims** : Freak out? What happened?

**Sasha James** : Well the good news is I found Timothy Hodge!

**Sasha James** : The bad news is he found me first.

**Jonathan Sims** : Send me the address I’m on the way

_1:04 ___

__**Sasha James** : Us- “yeah all monsters are evil and want to kill you”_ _

__**Sasha James** : Michael- “well actually”_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Sasha what you did was extremely stupid. Michael could have very easily killed you, or the worms could have. You shouldn’t have gone with him, and certainly not alone. I expected better from you._ _

__**Sasha James** : ew you’re business jon again I like fun Jon a lot more _ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Sasha?_ _

__**Sasha James** : no no it’s prentiss_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : I think you’re more hurt than we thought_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : I’m coming back_ _

__**Sasha James** : no no i’m finnne_ _

__**Sasha James** : it’s just really weird_ _

__**Sasha James** : it’s like I felt fine when I was talking to you but now i’m really dizzy and tirrd but don’t come back i wanna sleep_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : It’s probably just the adrenaline wearing off and/or the blood loss. You should be fine. Get some rest. Do let me know when you wake up tomorrow, so that I know you’re alright._ _

__**Sasha James** : alrighty nighty night jonny <3 i love you but not like that_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Good night, Sasha._ _

__

___9:14_ _ _

__**Sasha James** : I am awake but at what cost_ _

__**Sasha James** : Feel like I got hit by a bus._ _

__**Sasha James** : My arm is on fire_ _

__**Sasha James** : But I am alive and Georgie Barker posted a new What The Ghost episode so I am alright_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : You listen to What The Ghost?_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Don’t our lives have enough of that?_ _

__**Sasha James** : Maybe? But I like listening to someone else talk about the supernatural for once. Also, she makes me laugh._ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Yeah, Georgie has that affect._ _

__**Sasha James** : You listen too?_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : No._ _

__**Sasha James** : Okay just making sure you know I’m alive_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : I’m glad you’re not dead._ _

__**Sasha James** : Also I’d like to apologize for last night’s messages. I don’t actually remember sending most of those so I must have been really tired_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Don’t worry about it._ _

__**Sasha James** : Alright._ _

__**Sasha James** : I’d still like to make an official statement on Monday._ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Absolutely not. You are taking a few days off._ _

__**Sasha James** : Okay, but you can’t stop me from coming in as a civilian._ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Fine but not until Tuesday._ _

__**Sasha James** : What if I forget something by then?_ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Then I’ll fill in the gaps. Get some rest. I’m invoking my power as your boss._ _

__**Sasha James** : Fine, I’ll rest._ _

__**Sasha James** : Unfortunately something seems to have happened to my phone, and I didn’t get any texts from Tim or Martin until this morning._ _

__**Sasha James** : Which wouldn’t have been a serious problem had I not texted them right before I met Michael._ _

__**Sasha James** : _sent an image_ (A screenshot of a lock screen, with five notifications. The first says “109 Messages from: there’s a dog loose in the archives”. The second says “57 Missed Calls from: there’s a dog loose in the archives”. The third says “397 Messages from: it’s tim time”. The fourth says “104 Missed Calls from: it’s tim time”. The fifth says, “1026 Messages in Group Chat: Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever”.)_ _

__**Sasha James** : This shouldn’t be funny. They were very worried._ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : I honestly don’t know what’s funnier: the amount of messages; their contact names; or the name of the group chat._ _

__**Sasha James** : Tim and Martin, probably two of the smartest people I know- “Maybe if we text her more, she’ll stop being dead!”_ _

__**Sasha James** : And all the names are Tim’s doing._ _

__**Sasha James** : I am going to let them know I’m alive and then go back to sleep but thank you again for helping me last night._ _

__**Jonathan Sims** : Any time._ _

__

__**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever** , _9:37__ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : hi_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : I am not dead_ _

__**it’s tim time** : HOLY FUCK_ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Sasha!!_ _

__**it’s tim time** : WAIT send a picture so we know it’s you_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : _sent an image_ (a Hispanic woman with long, dark curls and round wire glasses. She looks very tired, and is holding up a peace sign)_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : I look and feel like shit but there go_ _

__**it’s tim time** : hush you look great now what happened_ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : ^^^_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : so it turns out that hot cafe guy was actually a monster named Michael with long claw fingers and a really weird laugh but he saved me from worms and he showed me that CO2 kills the worms so all in all 6/10 was an okay date would probably not go out with him again._ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Suddenly glad that image of him didn’t load_ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : But you’re alright?_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : feel like shit but I’m alive so there’s that _ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : I also told Jon I loved him apparently so..._ _

__**it’s tim time** : when were you talking to jon?_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : last night after Michael left I still had a massive bleeding hole in my arm from where he removed the worm and so I asked Jon to help me_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : he’s also making me take a few days off but I’m coming in to make an official statement on Tuesday so I will see you guys then_ _

__**it’s tim time** : just out of curiosity why did you ask jon to help you_ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : You misspelled jealously Tim_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : things I didn’t know until this group chat- martin is a savage_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : And I assumed he was the only one who wouldn’t freak out and make a big deal out of it_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : and other than the fact that he’s making me take time off I was right_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : can I go back to sleep now?_ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Of course love, sleep well <3_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : aaa <3 I love you_ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : !!!!_ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : really?_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : ofc <3_ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : I love you too! _ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : !!!!_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : also Tim once you stop pouting about the fact that I went to Jon and read these messages I love you too <3_ _

__**it’s tim time** : i’m not pouting :(_ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : You literally just added a frowny face_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : ^^^^_ _

__**it’s tim time** : well I was going to say that I loved you guys but I’ve changed my mind_ _

__**sasha! at the disco** : :(_ _

__**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : :(_ _


	5. Ghost! Ghost! Ghost!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **all these ghosts** : if anyone asks I am not currently crying in my closet because someone commented “still can’t believe the acronym is ghuk that looks like the sound cats make when they vomit” on our latest video

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day? It’s more likely than you’d think.

**all these ghosts** _to_ **still can’t find a boo** , _15:22_

 **all these ghosts** : if anyone asks I am not currently crying in my closet because someone commented “still can’t believe the acronym is ghuk that looks like the sound cats make when they vomit” on our latest video

 **still can’t find a boo** : Oh no

 **all these ghosts** : you’re laughing aren’t you

 **still can’t find a boo** : ...I’m not laughing about you crying, I promise

 **all these ghosts** : You know what Georgie?

 **all these ghosts** : I’ve decided this is all your fault

 **still can’t find a boo** : I mean... you’re probably right but you’re going to have to be more specific.

 **all these ghosts** : Go to the Magnus Institute, she said

 **all these ghosts** : Give them your statement, she said

 **all these ghosts** : You’ll feel better, she said

 **all these ghosts** : You were wrong. It did not make me feel better. The Magnus Institute is an affront against the sanctity of ghost hunting. 

**still can’t find a boo** : pft sanctity? 

**all these ghosts** : Shut the fuck up

 **all these ghosts** : I make my living through ghost hunting. a lot of people make their living ghost hunting.

 **all these ghosts** : I’ve seen things most people wouldn’t believe 

**all these ghosts** : most don’t believe me

 **all these ghosts** : I know you don’t believe what happened with Sarah Baldwin, even if you prentend you do.

 **all these ghosts** : and I didn’t have high expectations for the Magnus Institute when I went in

 **all these ghosts** : But to have their stupid Archivist pull out a fucking tape recorder for me to give my statement, and then to proceed to insult my show and my statement like I’m fucking crazy or something really does not make me feel any better

 **still can’t find a boo** : Oh you met Jon?

 **all these ghosts** : Jon?????

 **all these ghosts** : You know him????

 **still can’t find a boo** : I was kind of hoping you two would get on.

 **all these ghosts** : how on earth did you expect me to get along with him???

 **still can’t find a boo** : You two are actually remarkably similar.

 **all these ghosts** : How????

 **still can’t find a boo** : can’t admit when you’re wrong, opinionated, pretends you don’t have emotions, struggles to show affection to people because no one shows affection to you, secretly touch starved, strong willed, and a few other things I’m not going to mention

 **all these ghosts** : Georgie that’s every negative part of my personality no wonder we didn’t fucking get on

 **still can’t find a boo** : Yeah I see that now...

 **all these ghosts** : fuck

 **all these ghosts** : can I come over later? I need to not think for a while

 **still can’t find a boo** : Wait “not think” like pizza and a movie or “not think” like “not think ;)”

 **all these ghosts** : whatever you’re down for

 **still can’t find a boo** : whatever?

 **all these ghosts** : whatever ;)

**Jonny D’Ville** _to_ **Nastya Rasputina** , _15:47_

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Don’t contact Sarah Baldwin anymore. As a personal favor.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : ahh so you’ve met Melanie

 **Jonny D’Ville** : God that girl has some anger issues

 **Nastya Rasputina** : :( leave her alone

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Trust me it won’t be hard

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Why do you guys record statements on tape recorders?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Oh, that.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Some statements don’t record digitally. Like, at all. Usually it’s the really bad statements that don’t record. Ms. King looked very shaken, so I thought it would be best to just go straight to the recorder.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : okay fuck can I tell you something that’s kind of personal?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Sure?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I’ve made the worst mistake of my life

 **Nastya Rasputina** : And it’s becoming friends with benefits with Melanie

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Because now I’ve caught feelings

 **Nastya Rasputina** : What am I supposed to do?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : When she asks to come over?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I have two (2) friends and she’s one of them and you’re the other

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I’ve backed myself into a corner and I’m very isolated

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I can’t loose her

 **Nastya Rasputina** : But at the same time? Is it using her? If I don’t tell her?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I have no clue.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : This is why I avoid those types of situations

 **Nastya Rasputina** : No you avoid these types of situations because you’re ace

 **Jonny D’Ville** : That too.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : But it is a very intimate situation. No one could blame you for catching feelings. As for “using” her... Honestly, I’ve got no clue. But if it bothers you that much, you should talk to her about it. 

**Jonny D’Ville** : I understand feeling isolated, I do. Maybe get out more, or try to reconnect with some people from uni or something.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : You’ve really got two options: try to pursue a relationship with Melanie and risk the friendship; or try to pursue a relationship with someone else and risk the friendship. No one can make the choice but you.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : But I’m here for you no matter what you decide to do.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Really wise coming from the man who can’t even admit that he fancies his assistant

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I don’t? Like? Martin?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I? Didn’t? Say? Martin?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : You didn’t have to say Martin he’s the one you’re convinced I like

 **Nastya Rasputina** : okay fine

 **Nastya Rasputina** : You should come over

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Just realized The Admiral isn’t aware that you’re back 

**Jonny D’Ville** : I get out around 18:00 usually

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Oh wait you can’t today

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Oh?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Oh.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Yeah.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : You know sometimes I wish I didn’t think.


	6. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **it’s tim time** : imagine michael trying to stab you with his creepy fingers and you pull out an uno reverse card and stab him with one of your many knives 
> 
> **sasha! at the disco** : I do imagine that. I spend many hours imagining that.
> 
>  **sasha! at the disco** : sometimes I imagine stabbing him with many knives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Call me a TMA Time Travel AU because I have I no regards or respect for the season one timeline.
> 
> I ended up hyperfixiating on this fic and I wrote three chapters in a day help me.
> 
> Also, a disclaimer: the author has ASD, and projects through Jon. The thing he and Georgie do near the end of this chapter is a legitimate thing I’ve done in the past when I can’t figure out human emotions.

**Jonny D’Ville** _to_ **Nastya Rasputina** , _11:47_

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I need help.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : With what?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I need a good reason to not go to movie night tonight.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I’ve already tried “I’m your boss so it’s unprofessional” and “I’ve got too much work to do”

 **Nastya Rasputina** : omfg Jon I thought it was about your stalker lady

 **Jonny D’Ville** : No it’s worse

 **Jonny D’Ville** : But Martin said if I could give him a good reason he wouldn’t make me come.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Unfortunately my idea of a good reason and his idea of a good reason are very different.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Jesus 

**Nastya Rasputina** : Jon just go to movie night

 **Jonny D’Ville** : But I don’t want to.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Jon, how long has it been since drinks?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Almost a month.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : And have you done anything fun with these people since?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : No.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Okay so I just found two reasons for you to go.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Fine!

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I will go. But I won’t like it.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : :) I don’t care :)

 **Jonny D’Ville** : 🖕🖕

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Aww I love you too

_Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever_ , _13:18_

**it’s tim time** : I would just like to say that I’m a genius

 **sasha! at the disco** : I mean you can say it all you want

 **it’s tim time** : gsiswjen cannot believe you did me like that

 **it’s tim time** : but look at us! friends!

 **it’s tim time** : this was my doing

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Alright is now the point where you show me the secret group chat where you talk about how much you hate me?

 **sasha! at the disco** : I’ll show you yours if you show me mine

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Isn’t anxiety fun?

 **sasha! at the disco** : oh the best the best

 **sasha! at the disco** : also it has to be fair so Tim you say something

 **it’s tim time** : I’ve been staring at this case for four minutes but it is not about Smirke or the Circus so I cannot process the words because I am too excited about movies

 **it’s tim time** : I want to work. but i cannot.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : I’ve got one that’s about an evil clown doll and a calliope if you wanna switch 

**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Is that close enough?

 **it’s tim time** : yes please

 **sasha! at the disco** : anxiety/adhd solidarity 

**it’s tim time** : okay but also look at what’s happened over the last month

 **it’s tim time** : we are all really good friends now

 **it’s tim time** : we killed some worms

 **it’s tim time** : sasha got a creepy finger boyfriend

 **it’s tim time** : we’ve killed some worms

 **it’s tim time** : jon? idk but sometimes he looks at his phone and laughs so I think we did something there even if he doesn’t hang out with us

 **it’s tim time** : and we’ve killed some worms!

 **sasha! at the disco** : Michael is not my boyfriend he is my second stalker

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Imagine being so pretty that you get two cryptid stalkers can’t relate

 **sasha! at the disco** : he was at the fucking cafe again. keeps disappearing before I get to him. if he’s gonna keep following me around he needs to let me yell at him

 **it’s tim time** : imagine michael trying to stab you with his creepy fingers and you pull out an uno reverse card and stab him with one of your many knives 

**sasha! at the disco** : I do imagine that. I spend many hours imagining that.

 **sasha! at the disco** : sometimes I imagine stabbing him with many knives.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Beautiful. 

**sasha! at the disco** : unfortunately it is but a fantasy

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Holy heck did that just happen?

 **it’s tim time** : I... I think so?

 **sasha! at the disco** : afdksne “holy heck”

 **sasha! at the disco** : but what happened??

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Jon just burst out of his office and said “I can’t take it anymore. Once Sasha gets back we’re leaving. Elias can’t stop all of us.”

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : And then went back in his office like nothing happened.

 **it’s tim time** : not gonna lie he left his office so violently i thought he was gonna yell at martin for something

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : So did I

 **sasha! at the disco** : I can’t believe it.

 **sasha! at the disco** : but I am twenty minutes away 

**it’s tim time** : ugh can’t you be faster

 **sasha! at the disco** : oh yeah I forgot that I control the speed of public transportation

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : What else do we keep you around for?

 **sasha! at the disco** : Female representation.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : ^^^^^^^^^^

 **it’s tim time** : BIG FUCKING ^^^^^^^^^

 _16:57_

**it’s tim time** : NEW GROUPCHAT RULE

 **it’s tim time** : IF YOU SOMEHOW CONVINCED JON TO COME TO SOMETHING

 **it’s tim time** : ITS COMMON CURTESY TO LET THE HOST KNOW SO THAT (S)HE CAN PREPARE

 **sasha! at the disco** : I didn’t think he was coming?

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Okay so when I said “if you give me a good reason not to I won’t make you come to movie night” I definitely did not think he would take it seriously

 **it’s tim time** : YEAH WELL WHEN YOU GUYS GET HERE YOU WILL SEE WHAT IS IN MY LIVING ROOM THAT I WAS FINE WITH YOU GUYS SEEING BUT WAS NOT FINE WITH MY BOSS SEEING

 **it’s tim time** : martin I am not mad at you I promise I am just PANICKING 

**it’s tim time** : you guys will see what I mean

 **it’s tim time** : it’s literally within view from my front door 

**it’s tim time** : he has not asked yet. but I can’t tell if it’s because he doesn’t want to know or because when he first came in my house I panicked and said that any other time I imagined the two of us in my house was under very different circumstances and, I shit you not, he SQUEAKED then started blushing and hasn’t said anything since.

**sasha! at the disco** : you said WHAT

 **it’s tim time** : I PANICKED

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : You panicked and THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID?

 **it’s tim time** : yeah, and now I’m going to be fired for sexual harassment 

**it’s tim time** : so if jon ends up coming to events we need to inform the host before they do something stupid and get themselves fired hows that for solidarity

**Nastya Rasputina** _to_ **Jonny D’Ville** , _10:38_

 **Nastya Rasputina** : How was movie night?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Something between horrible and amazing

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I had fun? I think?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Okay back to the old uni method of coping with emotions 

**Jonny D’Ville** : The what?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : You tell me what happened and I’ll tell you if you had fun

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Oh yes I remember that 

**Jonny D’Ville** : If you don’t mind, I think it would help

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Of course I don’t mind! What happened?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Okay so I was the first one to arrive because I was nervous so I came early. It was at Tim’s house but no one told Tim I was coming so it was very awkward.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : And as I walk in I see this massive... shrine? In his living room.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Shrine?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : No shrine is the wrong word.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Remember how I told you he was bi?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Yes?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Well it turns out that he’s also trans.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : The more I learn about Tim I feel like he’s just you if you had a lot of sex.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Oh that reminds me when I got there Tim clearly panicked and tried to compensate by making a joke about having sex with me which went over about as well as you’d expect 

**Nastya Rasputina** : aodndysiejej Let me guess neither of you talked until someone else arrived

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Exactly

 **Jonny D’Ville** : But on the wall in Tim’s living room, in between a bi flag and a trans flag, is a shelf lined with dildos.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : It felt like an obscene amount of them too. Like there were fifteen

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Okay that is a lot.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Well I’m mostly gay but that feels like a lot.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Sasha ended up asking about them. According to Tim, his brother got them for him, two a year every year since he came out. He assured us that he didn’t use those ones.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : We love an ally.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Okay after a bit of awkwardness with Tim, Martin and Sasha showed up. We got pizza, and we watched movies. First we watched The Martian and I liked that movie. After that, we watched Coraline and I hated that movie.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Oh god I bet you did.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : That is not a kid’s movie.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Here’s in the story where things get complicated and if this didn’t happen I could say that I had a good time definitively.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Okay, hit me.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I’ll tell you but you can’t interrupt this part because you are going to read into it and so you need to not do that 

**Jonny D’Ville** : So there was this part in Coraline where I jumped and I instinctively grabbed onto the closest thing. That happened to be Martin’s arm. 

**Jonny D’Ville** : He looked at me for a second, but then turned back to the movie. He didn’t try to remove me from his arm, but he reached over with his other hand and started rubbing circles on my wrist.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : When I say it felt nice, know that my entire brain short circuited. I cannot tell you what happened in the movie after that point because all I noticed was the circles. He didn’t stop for the rest of the movie. When it was over, he turned to me and asked me if I was alright. I definitely could not have talked at that point, but I nodded. Then I realized he probably wanted his arm back so I let go.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Letting go... letting go felt really Bad. My fingers started buzzing, like I’d touched something Bad.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I must have made a face, because Martin turned to Tim and Sasha and asked if we would watch something that wasn’t scary next. When they asked him why, he pretended that it was him who was scared by the movie. They teased him but he didn’t stop pretending. Eventually they turned on The Princess Bride, which you know I love. I wanted to grab onto Martin’s arm again but I didn’t think it would be okay so I didn’t.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Around the Cliffs of Insanity scene, Martin started tapping his hand on his leg. It was bothering me so I touched his hand to make him stop. He went still all of a sudden but then he put his palm up, like he wanted me to take his hand. I put my hand on top of it and then he laced our fingers together. Holding his hand was also very nice.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Eventually I accidentally fell asleep, and he did too. When the movie was over I woke up, and I had been resting on his shoulder and his head was on top of mine. Then I woke him up because we had to go back home. We walked back to the station together because we were both going in the same general direction, but we didn’t hold hands again. We had to get on different trains, but he said goodnight to me first. Then I went home and went to sleep.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Not reading into things, it seems like you had a good time! Why are you not sure?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Because

 **Jonny D’Ville** : And it pains me admit it

 **Jonny D’Ville** : But you were right.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I have feelings for Martin.


	7. Writhing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Jonny D’Ville** : There is a MASSIVE spider in my office help
> 
> **Nastya Rasputina** : How am I supposed to help?
> 
> **Jonny D’Ville** : Give me strength to kill it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Cannon-typical worms, cannon-typical Jon guilt, presumed character death, canon character death (but that’s just just Prentiss and Gertrude), and also this is just a sad one gang.

**Nastya Rasputina** _to_ **Jonny D’Ville** , _12:09_

**Nastya Rasputina** : So are we ever going to talk about it?

**Jonny D’Ville** : About what?

**Nastya Rasputina** : Your feelings for Martin!

**Jonny D’Ville** : I am ignoring them until they go away.

**Jonny D’Ville** : It’s a stupid crush on my assistant, nothing is going to come of it.

**Nastya Rasputina** : But something could come from it if you wanted!

**Jonny D’Ville** : No it couldn’t

**Jonny D’Ville** : I’m his boss it’s inappropriate.

**Jonny D’Ville** : Now I have to record a statement because some of us have normal work hours 

**Nastya Rasputina** : The only thing you’re hurting are my feelings.

_12:34_

**Jonny D’Ville** : Holy shit

**Jonny D’Ville** : There is a MASSIVE spider in my office help

**Nastya Rasputina** : How am I supposed to help?

**Jonny D’Ville** : Give me strength to kill it?

**Nastya Rasputina** : I stand with you. You’ve got this.

_12:45_

**Nastya Rasputina** : Did you get it?

_12:57_

**Nastya Rasputina** : You weren’t killed by the spider, were you?

_13:03_

**Nastya Rasputina** : Jon?

_13:34_

**Nastya Rasputina** : You probably just went back to work but if you take a break can you text me? 

_13:47_

**Nastya Rasputina** : Last message then I’ll stop spamming you: Do you still want to come over tonight? And if so, do you want something specific for dinner?

_14:34_

**Nastya Rasputina** : Call me when you see this. I’m really worried.

_15:21_

**Jonny D’Ville** : I’m sorry.

**Nastya Rasputina** : No, it’s fine, can you call me?

**Jonny D’Ville** : No I can’t 

**Jonny D’Ville** : The officers told us not to contact anyone but I needed you to know I’m alive.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Officers? Like police? Are you okay? What happened?

**Jonny D’Ville** : It’s my fault all my fault it was my job to protect them I was supposed to stop this from happening I was supposed to protect them

**Nastya Rasputina** : Jon, breathe. In, hold, out. Tell me what happened. Don’t worry about speed or anything if the officers are nearby.

**Jonny D’Ville** : It was Prentiss.

**Nastya Rasputina** : The stalker lady?

**Jonny D’Ville** : There are tunnels underneath the Institute. She was in the tunnels underneath the Institute.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Oh my god.

**Jonny D’Ville** : The worms. There were so many worms.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Worms?

**Jonny D’Ville** : They were everywhere, pouring from the walls

**Nastya Rasputina** : What do you mean worms?

**Jonny D’Ville** : We went into the tunnels, we tried to run, we got separated

**Nastya Rasputina** : Jon this doesn’t make any sense

**Jonny D’Ville** : The worms burrow into your skin

**Jonny D’Ville** : There were so many. Too many.

**Jonny D’Ville** : The paramedics pulled them all out but I can still feel them under my skin, burrowing, writhing

**Jonny D’Ville** : I feel like I’m on fire. They gave me something for the pain but it hasn’t kicked in yet I can’t breathe

**Jonny D’Ville** : Tim’s in a similar state to me. The worms got him like they got me, they had to pull all the worms out of him

**Jonny D’Ville** : But oh god Georgie it’s my fault

**Jonny D’Ville** : Sasha ran out to try and get help. she got lost in artifact storage she tries to hard to stay away from that place she got out of that place she should have been able to escape that place

**Jonny D’Ville** : The last message she sent was that she saw someone else in there. They still haven’t found her.

**Jonny D’Ville** : And Martin, poor Martin, sweet Martin who was too goddamn good to work in a place like this place 

**Jonny D’Ville** : We got separated in the tunnels, I think the worms there got him, they haven’t found him either.

**Jonny D’Ville** : God it’s my fault. Sasha and Martin are dead and it’s all my fault.

**Jonny D’Ville** : When I tried to kill the spider I hit a shelf and it broke through the wall and the worms came out I made her attack it’s my fault

**Nastya Rasputina** : Breathe again Jon. 

**Nastya Rasputina** : If they haven’t found their bodies, then we don’t know they’re dead. 

**Nastya Rasputina** : And it’s not your fault. This Prentiss woman was always going to attack, there’s no way you could have known about the tunnels, there’s no way you could have caused it.

_16:03_

**Jonny D’Ville** : Update- they keep questioning Elias and Tim and I. The CDC took Prentiss’ body away. Still no sign of Sasha or Martin.

**Nastya Rasputina** : CDC? Jesus

**Nastya Rasputina** : You didn’t answer earlier. What did you mean by worms?

**Jonny D’Ville** : Her entire body was a nest for thousands of silver, flesh eating worms

**Nastya Rasputina** : Wait seriously?

**Jonny D’Ville** : There are some things out there that aren’t meant to be fucked with. 

**Nastya Rasputina** : I... I don’t know what to say.

**Jonny D’Ville** : You don’t believe me

**Nastya Rasputina** : I do believe you, Jon. There’s some bad shit out there, I’m sorry you got mixed in the middle of it.

_16:39_

**Jonny D’Ville** : Update- They seem convinced that Tim and I aren’t going to turn into worm things. They’re letting us go. I asked Tim and Elias to make statements. Still no Sasha. Still no Martin.

**Nastya Rasputina** : This seems like such a stupid question but are you still coming over? 

**Nastya Rasputina** : Like not to be selfish, I get that this is a lot. But I could watch over you if you wanted.

**Jonny D’Ville** : Martin!

**Nastya Rasputina** : Martin??

_17:03_

**Jonny D’Ville** : Update- Martin is alive. He found Gertrude Robinson’s body in the tunnels. They are now not letting us go again until they find the body, but Martin doesn’t want to go back into the tunnels. Going to ask Martin to make a statement. Still no Sasha.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Oh my god.

_17:51_

**Jonny D’Ville** : Update- they found Gertrude Robinson’s body. Still no Sasha. Elias is filing a missing person report. They’re letting us go. If you’re still open to it, I’d like to come over. Don’t think I should be alone right now.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Of course.

**Nastya Rasputina** : I’ve got cat cuddles and human cuddles and documentaries.

**Jonny D’Ville** : It’s really weird though. Elias seems really confused that Sasha is still gone. I don’t know why that sticks out to me.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Idk, maybe just seeing someone in charge be confused is confusing?

**Jonny D’Ville** : I don’t know. That’s not all that’s worrying me thought.

**Jonny D’Ville** : Gertrude Robinson? My predecessor?

**Jonny D’Ville** : She was shot three times.

**Jonny D’Ville** : Her death wasn’t an accident, or supernatural. She was flat out murdered.

**Jonny D’Ville** : Who killed her?

**Jonny D’Ville** : Was it one of my assistants?

**Jonny D’Ville** : Am I next?

**Jonny D’Ville** : Also I should warn you before I show up, three people told me I looked horrible.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Jon jump off the paranoia train for a second.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Firstly, I fully expect you to look horrible.

**Nastya Rasputina** : But think. These people are almost your friends. Are Tim, Martin, or Sasha capable of murder?

**Jonny D’Ville** : Well I have no doubt that Sasha is capable but she wouldn’t.

**Jonny D’Ville** : God Sasha is dead and I just accused her of murder.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Honey, don’t think about it. Just come here. I’m here.

**Jonny D’Ville** : I...

**Jonny D’Ville** : I know I don’t say it.

**Jonny D’Ville** : But I love you.

**Jonny D’Ville** : You know that, right?

**Nastya Rasputina** : I know.

**Nastya Rasputina** : I love you too.


	8. you had better not kill sasha op

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **it’s tim time** : Who the fuck is this??
> 
>  **Not Sasha** : Not Sasha.
> 
>  **Not Sasha** : I did change my name for clarification.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to TheFairMaidenOfFandom, who’s comment is the chapter title. All of the comments and kudos make me so happy, thank you!

**there’s a dog loose in the archives** _has created a group chat_

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** _added_ **it’s tim time** _to the chat_

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** _added_ **Jonathan Sims** _to the chat_

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** _renamed the chat_ **Get Some Sleep**

_3:46_

**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : ^^^^^

_4:03_

**it’s tim time** : Don’t be a hypocrite, Martin

_4:37_

**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : I can only get an hour at a time.

_5:47_

**Jonathan Sims** _has left the chat_

_6:23_

**it’s tim time** : well bye then

 **it’s tim time** _has left the chat_

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** _added_ **it’s tim time** _to the chat_

**there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Tim please

 **it’s tim time** : Look, Martin, I’m...

 **it’s tim time** : Just not now, okay?

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Okay.

 **it’s tim time** _has left the chat_

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** _has deleted this chat_

**sasha! at the disco** _has created a group chat_

 **sasha! at the disco** _added_ **it’s tim time** _to the chat_

 **sasha! at the disco** _added_ **there’s a dog loose in the archives** _to the chat_

 **sasha! at the disco** _added_ **Jonathan Sims** _to the chat_

 **sasha! at the disco** _renamed the chat_ **Come Get Your Bitch**

 **sasha! at the disco** _changed their name to_ **Not Sasha**

_12:35_

**Not Sasha** : One of you is probably the Archivist

 **Not Sasha** : I have your assistant Sasha

 **Not Sasha** : Please come and collect her in the dark alley next to the Magnus Institute.

 **Not Sasha** : However, if it’s anyone other than the Archivist that comes to collect her... well, you will regret it. As will Sasha.

 **it’s tim time** : Who the fuck is this??

 **Not Sasha** : Not Sasha.

 **Not Sasha** : I did change my name for clarification.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : There are a lot of people who are not Sasha, you’re going to have to be specific if you want us to come.

 **Not Sasha** : Hmm, specifics.

 **Not Sasha** : To ask for specifics implies that I have someone else that I am, not just someone I’m not. And that is just not true.

 **Jonathan Sims** : ...Michael?

 **Not Sasha** : So you must be the new Archivist.

 **Not Sasha** : How... interesting.

 **Not Sasha** : It is not yet Sasha’s time to leave these Archives. If I were you, I’d come quickly.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Or what, you won’t give her back?

 **it’s tim time** : Jon, just go!

 **Not Sasha** : No, I suspect dehydration will kill her before I do.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Have you been torturing her??

 **Not Sasha** : Such accusations Archivist, how dare you?

 **Not Sasha** : I saved Sasha’s life. As a personal favor to you. Don’t make me regret it.

 **Jonathan Sims** : I’m on my way. Don’t you dare touch her.

 **Not Sasha** : I am touching her.

 **it’s tim time** : LEAVE HER ALONE

 **Not Sasha** : I am holding her so that she is not on the ground. Tick tock, Archivist.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Tim, quiet.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Michael, patience. I am, in theory, ten minutes away. But this is central London.

 **Not Sasha** : I know about central London traffic, Archivist. That’s my scene. Practically my playground.

 **Not Sasha** : It’s the alley on the left :)

 **it’s tim time** : You better leave her alone, you sick fuck.

 **Not Sasha** _has removed_ **it’s tim time** _from the chat_

 **Not Sasha** : That’s quite enough from him, don’t you think Archivist?

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Um, Mr. Michael, sir? Can I ask you a question?

 **Jonathan Sims** : Martin, don’t.

 **Not Sasha** : Oh, Archivist. Afraid of questions, are we?

 **Not Sasha** : I would be honored to answer your question, Martin :)

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : It’s just bothering me, but you don’t have to answer it or anything.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : But how are you texting? With knife fingers?

 **Not Sasha** : It is not easy :)

 **Jonathan Sims** : I am here. You are not.

 **Not Sasha** : Are you in the left alley, or the right alley?

 **Jonathan Sims** : The left.

 **Not Sasha** : I’d double check that, if I were you.

 **Jonathan Sims** : What?

 **Jonathan Sims** : How are you doing this?

 **Not Sasha** : :)

 **Jonathan Sims** : Let me enter the alley!

 **Not Sasha** : No, this is quite entertaining.

 **Not Sasha** : Plus, you were very rude.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Mr Michael, can you please let him in? For Sasha?

 **Not Sasha** : Fine, but only for you Martin. I like you :)

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : No offense sir, but I don’t think that’s a good thing.

**Not Sasha** : h̶̹̆̆̓̾̐́͗̎ą̸̛̅̈͋̀̀̉̈̉̎̈́́͒̿͑̚h̵̡̧̻̻̺̩͖͍͙̻͙̫̮̭̹̠͋̈́̄̄̀̚͜ā̶̛̫̩͈͇̳͕͖̞̫̓̆͋͊̏̈́͐̂̚͝͠h̴͓͙̤͉̗̜̳̥̍͜ä̵̧̛̼̺̝̞͇̫͚̺̙̟̤͚́̽̀̕͜͝h̸̨̧̡̞̫̱̺̦͍͕̘̉͝a̴̹̝̬̠͈̻̻̣͕̼̔͜͠ĥ̶͎̣̩̰͍̼͙̜̬̦̲̗̰̝̋͛͋å̶͇̭̀̈̌̐̿́̂̄̎̋̽̏̆͘

**Not Sasha** : Who knows, Martin? It saved Sasha’s life.

_14:47_

**Jonathan Sims** _added_ **it’s tim time** _to the chat_

 **Jonathan Sims** : I should update you both.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Michael finally let me into the alley. He/it was nowhere to be seen, but left Sasha’s phone next to her.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Sasha was unconscious, but didn’t seem greatly injured. My friend Georgie and I brought her to the nearby hospital. The doctor said that she was severely dehydrated and also seemed to be concussed, but was otherwise fine. They said she might be out of it for a few more hours.

 **Jonathan Sims** : She’s still out, but she’s alive.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Oh thank god!

 **it’s tim time** : That the hospital right around the corner from the institute?

 **Jonathan Sims** : Yes

 **it’s tim time** : Be there in ten.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Tim, you don’t have to come.

 **it’s tim time** : Yes I do

 **it’s tim time** : Sasha is alive and I’m not wasting another second where I could be with her. I made that mistake once. I won’t do it again.

 **Jonathan Sims** : She’s awake.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : I’m coming too.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Martin.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : Sasha is my friend, Jon.

 **Jonathan Sims** : I know that.

 **there’s a dog loose in the archives** : And you know what I don’t care if you don’t want me there, I’m going to be there for Tim and Sasha and your hatred for me isn’t going to stop me.

 **Jonathan Sims** : It’s not that!

 **Jonathan Sims** : Just...

 **Jonathan Sims** : Nevermind. See you soon. Both of you.


	9. Making Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Jonathan Sims** : Gertrude Robinson was murdered.
> 
> **Sasha James** : What?? For real? They found her?
> 
> **Martin Blackwood** : I found her body in the tunnels during the attack.
> 
> **Sasha James** : jon knows georgie barker? martin found gertrude? no one tells me anything smh

**Jonathan Sims** _to_ **Martin Blackwood** , _11:34_

**Jonathan Sims** : I don’t hate you.

**Martin Blackwood** : I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I don’t really think you hate me, I was just upset, I’m sorry

**Jonathan Sims** : No.

**Jonathan Sims** : Stop rambling and listen

**Martin Blackwood** : Sorry.

**Jonathan Sims** : I don’t hate you. I know you think it, or you wouldn’t have said it. It’s understandable. But I need you to know that I don’t hate you as a person.

**Martin Blackwood** : No offense Jon, but it seems like it sometimes

**Jonathan Sims** : I know. And I’m sorry.

**Martin Blackwood** : No, Jon, don’t be.

**Jonathan Sims** : The reason I didn’t want you to come to the hospital was because I didn’t want you to see me like that.

**Jonathan Sims** : Between Prentiss and Michael and Sasha, I was an absolute wreck.

**Jonathan Sims** : I was hoping that maybe, I could preserve any respect/authority I still had.

**Jonathan Sims** : But it was selfish to try and keep you from seeing Sasha

**Jonathan Sims** : So I am sorry.

**Martin Blackwood** : I understand why you might feel that way. But between everything, no one could blame you for being a bit of a mess. You’re only human, Jon.

**Jonathan Sims** : That doesn’t excuse my behavior.

**Martin Blackwood** : Well, I forgive you.

**Jonathan Sims** : You shouldn’t, but thank you.

**Martin Blackwood** : Why shouldn’t I?

**Martin Blackwood** : Jon, you have the tendency to pull back, to hide from social situations.

**Martin Blackwood** : Which, hey, I’m probably the last person that can judge you for that. 

**Martin Blackwood** : But you do it why? To seem more professional? I don’t get it.

**Martin Blackwood** : You act like you’re this emotionless corporate drone, but you don’t have to be like that for us to respect you.

**Martin Blackwood** : And at movie night? And in the closet during the attack? And very briefly during drinks? When I saw what you’re really like, who you really are?

**Martin Blackwood** : You can’t tell me you’re happier this way.

**Martin Blackwood** : You’re my boss, yes, but I’d also like to be your friend.

**Martin Blackwood** : And I know Tim and Sasha want to be your friends too.

**Martin Blackwood** : So forgive me if I’m overstepping, but it doesn’t seem like a healthy way to live.

**Martin Blackwood** : You’re only one person, Jon. You can’t be expected to carry the entire archives.

**Jonathan Sims** : I don’t know what to say.

**Jonathan Sims** : Thank you.

**Martin Blackwood** : Of course.

**Jonathan Sims** : Actually, you just gave me an idea.

**Come Get Your Bitch**

**Jonathan Sims** _has changed the chat name to_ **Archives**

**Jonathan Sims** : Everyone is in this chat, correct?

**Not Sasha** : Yep.

**Not Sasha** : Oh I should change back.

**Not Sasha** _has changed their name to_ **Sasha James**

**Sasha James** : Is anyone allergic to cats? Thinking of getting one with the money Elias gave us for therapy.

**there’s a dog loose in the archives** _has changed their name to_ **Martin Blackwood**

**Martin Blackwood** : Why not just go to therapy?

**Sasha James** : Look I can either talk to a stranger and have to lie through omission about everything the Institute does, or I can get a cat. But I wanted to make sure you guys weren’t allergic so that you can still come over.

**Martin Blackwood** : Fair enough. I am not allergic.

**it’s tim time** : I’m not allergic, and I’m also not changing my name to suck up to the boss 😝😝😝

**Jonathan Sims** : You can all keep your fun names? I’m not stopping you?

**Jonathan Sims** : And I am not allergic. Though you should probably use the therapy money for actual therapy, regardless.

**Sasha James** : Are you going to therapy?

**Jonathan Sims** : No, Georgie and I are getting drunk.

**Martin Blackwood** : That doesn’t sound like a healthy coping mechanism?

**Jonathan Sims** : That’s because it’s not :)

**it’s tim time** : woah what is this new side we are seeing, boss?

**Jonathan Sims** : Essentially, me outside of work.

**Jonathan Sims** : I am also buying catnip so that her cat can get wasted with us.

**Martin Blackwood** : Can we get a picture of the cat?

**Jonathan Sims** : _sent an image_ (A fat, grey cat with a squashed face, walking down a hallway, with one paw raised as if taken mid-step)

**Martin Blackwood** : !!!!

**it’s tim time** : baby. precious. 

**Sasha James** : Wait a second.

**Sasha James** : Your friend Georgie.

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes, it’s Georgie Barker.

**Sasha James** : WHAT

**Sasha James** : WHAT

**Jonathan Sims** : We went to uni together.

**Martin Blackwood** : Wait, who’s Georgie Barker?

**it’s tim time** : isn’t that the what the ghost chick?

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes, she runs the What The Ghost? podcast. Sasha happens to be a fan of said podcast. Hence why I was hesitant to mention her.

**Sasha James** : WHAT

**Sasha James** : okay, okay, I’m calm now.

**Jonathan Sims** : Speaking of, Sasha, I have to ask.

**Jonathan Sims** : What happened during the Prentiss attack?

**Sasha James** : Oh, yeah! Give me a second, my phone is still kind of glitchy from when Michael used it.

**Sasha James** : Starting at the beginning: Worms come out of the walls, hiding in the storage room, Tim came back from lunch and I ran out to warn him, ran and pulled the fire alarm and went to tell Elias. They needed a manual override for the CO2 dispenser, so we headed that way. We ran into a bunch of worms, and got separated. I ended up in Artifact storage, and I saw someone coming towards me.

**Sasha James** : Something grabbed my shoulder, and I screamed. It was Michael. He’d been following me since my experience with Timothy Hodge, which I didn’t tell you, Jon, mostly because I wasn’t sure I was even really seeing him. He told me...

**Sasha James** : I’m sorry.

**Jonathan Sims** : Take your time, Sasha, it’s alright.

**Sasha James** : He said, “The Circus has enough skin without you, dear.” 

**Sasha James** : He offered me his hand. I realized I had to make a choice, and I liked my odds better with Michael than with the Circus.

**Sasha James** : I took his hand, and he led me through a door. I thought it would lead back into the Institute proper, but instead it brought me into this corridor I didn’t recognize. It seemed to stretch on forever, with many other corridors branching off. The walls were lined with pictures of the place. I turned around, and the door I came through was gone, as was Michael. 

**Sasha James** : I wandered through that place for hours, finding dead end after dead end when I finally found it.

**Sasha James** : Carved into the wall was the word “Home” with an arrow. It looked like it might have been Michael’s doing, so I decided to follow the arrow. It led to another arrow, then another, then another.

**Sasha James** : I followed the arrows for three days, and at the end was Michael.

**Sasha James** : All he said was, “Hm. Interesting.” Then, he opened up a door, and I walked out into the alley by the Institute. I must have blacked out, because the next thing I knew was waking up in the hospital. You guys know the rest.

**Sasha James** : Statement ends, I guess haha

**Jonathan Sims** : I... I don’t know what to do with this information.

**Sasha James** : I know it’s strange, Jon, but I wouldn’t lie to you.

**Jonathan Sims** : No, I believe you Sasha.

**Jonathan Sims** : I believe all of the statements. 

**Jonathan Sims** : I just don’t know if this makes Michael an ally. 

**Jonathan Sims** : And what is this circus he mentioned?

**it’s tim time** : Are you sure he said circus??

**Sasha James** : Yes, I’m sure. 

**it’s tim time** : Jon...

**it’s tim time** : I’m going to private message you.

**Jonathan Sims** : Okay.

**Jonathan Sims** : But there’s something serious I should talk to all of you about.

**Martin Blackwood** : Oh?

**it’s tim time** : go ahead?

**Sasha James** : ^^^

**Jonathan Sims** : Gertrude Robinson was murdered.

**Sasha James** : What?? For real? They found her?

**Martin Blackwood** : I found her body in the tunnels during the attack.

**Sasha James** : jon knows georgie barker? martin found gertrude? no one tells me anything smh

**it’s tim time** : RIP Gertrude, 5ever in our hearts

**Sasha James** : Not that anyone will miss her tbh she was a bitch

**Martin Blackwood** : Wow Sasha really calling her out.

**Jonathan Sims** : This is serious!

**Jonathan Sims** : Gertrude Robinson was murdered!

**Jonathan Sims** : And I could be next!

**Martin Blackwood** : Why would you be next?

**Jonathan Sims** : Because now, I’m the Archivist. The way Michael talked, how he would only let me come and get Sasha, being the Archivist must be important. What if they target me now?

**Sasha James** : Jesus I didn’t even think about it like that.

**Jonathan Sims** : Yeah, it’s the only way I’ve thought about it.

**Jonathan Sims** : And it wasn’t even something supernatural that killed Gertrude. It was a gun. It was a person. Probably someone inside the Institute.

**Martin Blackwood** : Who do you think did it?

**Jonathan Sims** : I don’t know.

**Jonathan Sims** : But if I’m going to figure it out, I can’t do it alone.

**Jonathan Sims** : I am making the choice to trust you all.

**Jonathan Sims** : I need your help.

**Sasha James** : Of course. Where do we start?

**it’s tim time** : ^^^^^

**Martin Blackwood** : ^^^^

**Jonny D’Ville** _to_ **Nastya Rasputina** , _12:54_

**Jonny D’Ville** : I think I’m making friends.

**Nastya Rasputina** : :D


	10. Severe Back Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **it’s tim time** : alright that’s it I’m dying
> 
> **Sasha James** : lol have fun with that
> 
> **Martin Blackwood** : No we’ll miss you!
> 
> **Jonathan Sims** : I won’t.

**Archives**

_3:48_

**it’s tim time** : alright that’s it I’m dying

**Sasha James** : lol have fun with that

**Martin Blackwood** : No we’ll miss you!

**Jonathan Sims** : I won’t.

**it’s tim time** : ouch boss that hurts my feelings.

**it’s tim time** : but before I do this boss I have a question for you

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes?

**it’s tim time** : are you gay?

**Jonathan Sims** : Tim that is hardly an appropriate question.

**it’s tim time** : okay chill I just thought I’d ask

**Jonathan Sims** : I am not in a position to discuss my sexual orientation with you.

**it’s tim time** : but... gay rights?

**Jonathan Sims** : Of course.

**it’s tim time** : alright alright

**it’s tim time** _changed the chat name to_ **CSI but Gay**

**it’s tim time** : now we can solve the mystery of gertrudes death

**Sasha James** : Tim you are the stupidest person I’ve ever met.

**Sasha James** _changed the chat name to_ **Scooby Doo But Gay**

**it’s tim time** : OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT

**it’s tim time** : there. now we can solve the mystery.

**Jonathan Sims** : At risk of being mocked... what’s Scooby Doo?

**it’s tim time** : WHAT

**Sasha James** : jail.

**Martin Blackwood** _changed_ **Jonathan Sims** _name to_ **Old Man**

**Old Man** : I’m 28?

**Martin Blackwood** : I’m sorry what now

**it’s tim time** : no way. no way.

**Martin Blackwood** : How are you younger than me??

**it’s tim time** _changed_ **Old Man** _name to_ **a child**

**a child** : No.

**Sasha James** : oh thank god

**Sasha James** : I am finally not the only one who knows that!

**a child** : Well, if you didn’t want to keep secrets you wouldn’t have hacked into my computer.

**Sasha James** : fair

**a child** _changed_ **Sasha James** _name to_ **it’s called privacy, sasha**

**it’s tim time** : wow he really did you like that sash

**it’s tim time** : lol boss ur a savage

**a child** : Tim, would you like a promotion?

**it’s tim time** : oh hell yeah!

**it’s tim time** : wait a second what’s the catch 

**a child** _changed_ **it’s tim time** _name to_ **official archive whore**

**a child** : There go.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : aidbdysjbe 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : that’s perfect. I love it

**a child** : Now you’ve got an official title. No pay raise though.

**official archive whore** : really don’t know what I was expecting 

**official archive whore** : what about martin

**a child** : Oh I’ve got one for him too

**Martin Blackwood** : No, I’m good. But thanks!

**a child** _changed_ **Martin Blackwood** _name to_ **the best one of all of us**

**the best one of all of us** _changed their name to_ **mediocre at best**

**a child** : No

**mediocre at best** : Yes

**official archive whore** _changed_ **mediocre at best** _name to_ **our mum**

**official archive whore** : okay?

**a child** : I can live with that.

**our mum** : I’m not though?

**official archive whore** : martin my mum disowned me so you’re my mum now

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : and my mum left me so you’re my mum now

**a child** : And my mum died so you can be my mum as well

**official archive whore** : jesus christ jon

**our mum** : Oh Jon I’m so sorry.

**a child** : No, don’t be. I was three, I don’t remember her.

**our mum** : You were THREE?

**a child** : Yes.

**official archive whore** : I’m learning so much about jon from this chat and I don’t think I wanted to know all of it.

**a child** : Glad to be the bringer of cursed knowledge.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : speaking of things we now know about Jon 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : you should add georgie barker to the chat

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : so that we can meet your other friends

**a child** : I only have one friend.

**official archive whore** : what about us?

**a child** : Georgie is my friend; Martin is my mum; and I’m trying my best not to be associated with the rest of you.

**official archive whore** : ouch boss that hurts

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : actually, that’s pretty fair

**a child** : She does want to meet you all.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : if it helps we could create another chat? and keep this one for the murder investigation.

**a child** : With the names, we should probably keep this one casual. 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : yeah that’s understandable. we can make another one for work stuff.

**a child** _added_ **Nastya Rasputina** _to the chat_

**a child** : Alright everyone play nice.

**Nastya Rasputina** : aaaa ty ty

**Nastya Rasputina** _changed their name to_ **ghost bb**

**ghost bb** : Hi guys! I’m Georgie! Jon has told me so much about you!

**our mum** : All good things, I hope.

**ghost bb** : Oh definitely definitely.

**ghost bb** : I don’t know who anyone is, but I’m going to guess based on the usernames 

**ghost bb** : ‘official archive whore’ has to be Tim, and ‘our mum’ is probably Martin, which means ‘it’s called privacy, sasha’ is not a message to Sasha, because it is Sasha. Am I right?

**a child** : 3/3

**official archive whore** : 👏👏👏

**ghost bb** : okay but Jon why is your name ‘a child’?

**our mum** : Because apparently he’s ONLY 28??

**ghost bb** : yeah? how old did he say he was?

**our mum** : 39

**ghost bb** : jesus christ Jon that’s not even close

**a child** : Eleven years is not that long

**ghost bb** : eleven years ago you were seventeen.

**ghost bb** : but in all seriousness.

**ghost bb** : Jon has a hard time showing affection, but I can tell he really likes all of you so it’s nice to meet you all!

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : aaaa we love you too Jon <3

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : also aaaa Georgie I love your show!

**ghost bb** : aaa really? don’t you magnus people have enough of that?

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : hah not me I guess 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : I like the way you tell it

**ghost bb** : ty ty <3

**official archive whore** : okay I have to ask

**ghost bb** : shoot! 

**official archive whore** : was your previous name a mechs reference?

**ghost bb** : You know The Mechanisms?

**official archive whore** : I absolutely love the mechanisms! my brother and I saw them at their last concert!

**ghost bb** : that’s super cool!

**official archive whore** : you’re a fan then?

**ghost bb** : you could say that

**ghost bb** : let me guess- gunpowder tim was your favorite?

**official archive whore** : haha no actually it was nastya!

**ghost bb** : aaa really?

**official archive whore** : yeah! she was an awesome character, you could tell she really loved the music, and we love the lesbian representation 

**official archive whore** : it was so sad when she had to leave bc of her back pain

**ghost bb** : ...back pain?

**official archive whore** : yeah, severe back pain due to carrying the entire show.

**ghost bb** : I’m SCREAMING that’s hilarious thank you exactly what I needed to hear today

**official archive whore** : I exist only to entertain ;)

**official archive whore** : I don’t actually know why she left, but it sucked.

**a child** : She left because she was going through a rather nasty breakup with Jonny D’Ville.

**ghost bb** : it was, quite frankly, really awkward to be at rehearsals when two band members weren’t speaking, and it was a lot easier to loose her than Jonny.

**a child** : It was fully her decision, of course, and Jonny was the one responsible for the breakup 

**ghost bb** : But it really was just better for everyone if she quietly made an exit.

**a child** : And Jonny got to cope with his emotions by writing her character an ugly, violent end. So everything worked out quite well.

**official archive whore** : ...

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : that was... so specific.

**our mum** : If it was anyone other than Jon, I’d say you two were in the band haha

**a child** : Yes, “haha”

**our mum** : ....Jon, that’s vaguely ominous.

**ghost bb** : would you guys like to see a picture of us at uni? if that’s okay Jon

**a child** : Sure

**official archive whore** : holy SHIT

**official archive whore** : no fucking way. no FUCKING WAY

**official archive whore** : there is NO WAY I never noticed that

**ghost bb** : are you sure?

**ghost bb** : _sent an image_ (Two people in steampunk attire sitting on a stage. Musical instruments are set up behind them, but no one else is present. The first person, a heavyset Black woman with shoulder length hair, laughs at an unheard joke, violin half forgotten in her hand. The other, a frail Black man with intricate black veins drawn around his eyes, rests his head on her shoulder, and looks at her like she hung the stars in the sky)

**official archive whore** : I CANNOT BELIEVE IVE BEEN WORKING WITH JONNY DVILLE FOR FIVE YEARS AND NEVER NOTICED

**a child** : That’s because you haven’t. Jonny D’Ville is dead.

**official archive whore** : excuse you the mechs are alive and well in my HEART do not ruin this for me.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : I am??? so soft??? for the look on Jon’s face????

**ghost bb** : yeah I was too. fucking bastard.

**a child** : I though we were over this.

**ghost bb** : alas, not all love prevails.

**our mum** : You two look really cute!

**ghost bb** : ty ty

**ghost bb** : I do have one question

**our mum** : Yeah?

**ghost bb** : why is this chat called ‘scooby doo but gay’?

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Because we didn’t change it before we added you

**official archive whore** : we’re trying to solve an archive mystery

**ghost bb** : which one?

**our mum** : All of them. At once. All the mysteries.

**a child** : Relax. She knows about Gertrude.

**a child** : I’ve asked them to help in the investigation.

**ghost bb** : good. because otherwise you would probably go down a train of paranoia blaming them for the murder, and try to do the investigation on your own and fail because they kept catching you stalking them to find clues so now you’ve been framed for a murder you didn’t actually commit but enough evidence points to you that you have to go into hiding.

**a child** : ...

**a child** : Yeah, probably.


	11. You Would Not Believe Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **official archive whore** : imagine having living relatives lol
> 
> **it’s called privacy, sasha** : ^^^^
> 
> **a child** : ^^^^
> 
> **ghost bb** : ^^^^

**Scooby Doo But Gay**

_14:45_

**our mum** : Georgie did you know that Jon doesn’t know what Scooby Doo is?

**ghost bb** : WHAT

**ghost bb** : WHAT

**ghost bb** : GUESS WHAT WE’RE WATCHING TONIGHT BITCH

**our mum** : If you’re not old, then how do you not know?

**a child** : I don’t keep up with pop culture 

**ghost bb** : “Scooby-Doo is an American animated franchise comprising many animated television series produced from 1969 to the present, as well as their derivative media.”

**ghost bb** : try again 

**a child** : My Grandmother didn’t let me watch television. She believed the Devil spoke through the screen.

**ghost bb** : oh my god I forgot about Elizabeth Sims

**a child** : Elizabeth Bradbury, technically.

**a child** : And Georgie, how much did you forget and how much did you purposefully block out?

**ghost bb** : aaa okay true

**ghost bb** : she did NOT like me

**a child** : Don’t take it personally, she didn’t like anyone.

**our mum** : She sounds lovely.

**a child** : Well, either way we shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.

**our mum** : Jon is everyone in your family dead??

**a child** : Except me, yes.

**our mum** : christ

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Elias-“the money was for therapy”

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Me- “yeah, his name is Therapy”

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : _sent an image_ (An orange cat, with white paws and a white face, sitting in the middle of a living room floor)

**our mum** : !!!

**ghost bb** : KITTY

**a child** : He is adorable, Sasha

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : he is

**official archive whore** : ALRIGHT

**official archive whore** : it is finally finished

**official archive whore** : this took me a lot longer than I thought but it’s done

**official archive whore** : hope you all appreciate this

**official archive whore** : _sent a YouTube link_ (Worms? (A Parody Of Fireflies by Owl City))

**a child** : Tim what is this?

**official archive whore** : what I spent my therapy money on.

**ghost bb** : I...

**our mum** : I’ve watched it and I’d just like to ask again.

**our mum** : What is this?

**official archive whore** : it’s a masterpiece, martin

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : that’s one word for it

**a child** : Interesting lyrical work

**a child** : “You would not believe your eyes/if ten million fucking worms”

**our mum** : “Started crawling all around the archives”

**a child** : “Cause they’re squirming everywhere/and yes I mean everywhere”

**our mum** : and then you kept the line “you’d think me rude but I would just stand and stare”??

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : you guys are sleeping on the chorus smh

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : “I’d like to make myself believe/that Prentiss is the worst thing we’ll see/unfortunately archive staff have a tendency to die/cause everything is never as it seems/and now I can’t sleep”

**a child** : How much time did you spend on this?

**official archive whore** : well none of you seem to like it so I don’t wanna say

**official archive whore** : but it definitely started before the attack

**ghost bb** : well, I liked it. But I don’t think I’m in a position to like it? Because I wasn’t there? 

**official archive whore** : yeah I get it. glad you liked it tho :)

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : I am personally loving the use of green screen 

**our mum** : Yeah! Especially when you’re dancing in front of what is clearly a picture of normal worms with a grey filter.

**a child** : You spent money on this?

**official archive whore** : yeah I got an editing software, and I couldn’t find my recorder so I just ordered a new one.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : this will probably be funny in two years.

**our mum** : I don’t know, it has it’s moments 

**our mum** : _sent an image_ (A screenshot from the video. A dark haired man with sunglasses, holding a recorder. He has circular scabs across his arms and face. He appears to be in the midst of falling, trying desperately to catch himself)

**official archive whore** : and that was not staged! I actually fell! it hurt a lot!

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : the worm marks look like they hurt too

**official archive whore** : well, they don’t actually hurt as much as they itch

**a child** : Which does not help my paranoia at all.

**official archive whore** : ^^^^^

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : so if Tim made... that thing, Jon is getting drunk with Georgie, and I got a cat

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : what are you doing with the therapy money, Martin?

**our mum** : Oh!

**our mum** : I actually just gave it to my mum.

**official archive whore** : imagine having living relatives lol

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : ^^^^

**a child** : ^^^^

**ghost bb** : ^^^^

**our mum** : Okay that’s it!

**our mum** : I am not just your mum anymore

**our mum** : I am also your dad

**our mum** : And your grandparents

**our mum** : I am your entire family

**our mum** : No more jokes about being orphans!

**official archive whore** : if you’re my entire family now then I expect several presents for christmas

**our mum** : No, I’m going to do the same thing my mum did to me when I was a kid.

**official archive whore** : which is?

**our mum** : You can either have presents, or you can give your presents to the starving children in Africa that don’t even have a house or water.

**official archive whore** : jesus christ 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : your mum said that??

**our mum** : Yeah, we didn’t have a lot of money so we couldn’t really afford Christmas.

**our mum** : The starving children in Africa got our Christmas dinner too.

**ghost bb** : Oh god

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Martin not to get all psychological on you but do you think this is maybe why you can’t accept presents now?

**our mum** : I try my best not to think about my childhood, actually.

**a child** : ^^^^

**ghost bb** : ^^^^

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : okay, fair enough.


	12. Scold Jon Hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: knee injuries, mentions of r*pe, kind of non-consensual coming out (like statement level non-con), character being ganged up upon and yelled at, I definitely did not cry while writing this, another sad one friends.

**a child** _to_ **our mum** , _3:31_

 **a child** : Any chance you’re awake?

 **our mum** : I am, actually.

 **a child** : Why? You should be sleeping.

 **our mum** : So should you!

 **a child** : Ah, about that.

 **a child** : Look, you can scold me all you want later 

**a child** : But right now can you help m?

 **a child** : *me

 **our mum** : What’s wrong?

 **a child** : I need you to come to the Institute.

 **our mum** : What are you doing at the Institute at three in the morning?

 **a child** : Like I said, you can scold me all you want later.

 **a child** : But at the moment I am unable to walk.

 **a child** : And I’m laying on the floor of my office at three in the morning.

 **a child** : Everything has gone wrong.

 **our mum** : What happened??

 **a child** : ...

 **a child** : I was exploring the tunnels.

 **our mum** : Jon

 **a child** : I know! Later, please.

 **a child** : I was exploring the tunnels, when I got a bit turned around. Ended up in a room that was pitch dark, my torch did nothing to help. Then, this voice came out of the darkness, telling me to leave.

 **a child** : I started running, fell, tried to get up again, and immediately fell back down. Limped my way back to the Institute, but it’s gotten steadily worse.

 **our mum** : Where does it hurt?

 **a child** : It’s where we removed the worm in the closet, but it’s also dropped down to my knee.

 **a child** : So I don’t know if this is a new injurny or tied to the fucking worms.

 **a child** : *injury 

**our mum** : Typos? Swearing? Jon how much pain are you in right now?

 **a child** : a lot

 **a child** : Just come here

 **our mum** : Sorry, it’s going to be a bit still. I have to walk

 **a child** : Why?

 **our mum** : Because all the tubes are closed? It’s three in the morning

 **a child** : Right, yes.

 **a child** : Hurry, please

 **our mum** : Going as fast as I can without making the women in front of me think I’m a rapist and chasing them.

 **a child** : That’s very considerate of you.

 **our mum** : I just...

 **our mum** : I know I’m not the smallest guy in the world, and I know my size can make me seem... intimidating? I guess that’s the right word.

 **a child** : Yeah, I know the feeling.

 **our mum** : ...of being intimidating? Jon you’re like 5’

 **a child** : 5’2”

 **a child** : And no, I’ve... I’ve been the one intimidated.

 **our mum** : By me?

 **a child** : No, of course not.

 **a child** : You’re about as intimidating as a large dog that’s excited to see you.

 **a child** : But I have been walking late at night with larger men walking behind me. I know that fear.

 **our mum** : Oh.

 **a child** : What’s that ‘oh’ supposed to mean?

 **our mum** : Nothing, sorry.

 **our mum** : I just assumed that was a thing only women felt.

 **a child** : Yes, I was a woman at the time.

 **a child** : Not that I don’t feel it now, but I think it’s a more ingrained thing at this point.

 **our mum** : You’re trans?

 **a child** : Yes.

 **our mum** : I had no idea.

 **a child** : That’s the hope.

 **our mum** : Why are you telling me this?

 **a child** : I have no clue. My leg hurts. It’s too quiet in here. I feel like something’s watching me.

 **our mum** : I’m here.

 **a child** : Thank god.

**Scooby Doo But Gay**

_15:04_

**official archive whore** : guys!!!

 **official archive whore** : we have three days left.

 **official archive whore** : plus the weekend

 **official archive whore** : and then we have to go back to work

 **official archive whore** : I am not emotionally prepared for this 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : I mean, what’s Elias going to do if we don’t show up?

 **ghost bb** : realistically, fire you.

 **official archive whore** : georgie why do you have to be smart?

 **ghost bb** : I ask myself the same question every day

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : aljahahw 

**our mum** : Jon are you awake yet?

 **a child** : Yes? Why do you ask?

 **our mum** : It’s scolding time.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : what is he getting scolded for?

 **a child** _has left the chat_

 **our mum** _added_ **a child** _to the chat_

 **a child** : This was not part of the deal.

 **our mum** : You said I could scold you later. It’s later.

 **a child** : I mean privately!

 **our mum** : No I think you need to be scolded by everyone.

 **our mum** : Because you were very stupid.

 **official archive whore** : hahah what did you do?

 **our mum** : It’s not funny, Tim!

 **our mum** : Jon why don’t you tell them what did?

 **ghost bb** : Also no lying through omission tell us exactly what happened.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : ^^^^

 **a child** : So, did you guys know you can sprain your knee? I sure didn’t.

 **ghost bb** : and how did you sprain your knee??

 **a child** : It’s not actually that bad, it could be a lot worse.

 **our mum** : Christ it’s like pulling teeth.

 **our mum** : He fell while running away from something in the tunnels. Which he was exploring alone.

 **ghost bb** : Martin tell me you’re joking.

 **our mum** : I would not joke about something like that.

 **our mum** : We’re taking turns. I’ll go last.

 **official archive whore** : FUCKING HELL JON

 **official archive whore** : WE ONLY HAVE FIVE DAYS LEFT YOU REALLY HAD TO GO TO WORK EARLY JUST SO THAT YOU COULD ALMOST DIE??????

 **official archive whore** : “oh I trust you guys but not enough to let you know I’m going in the tunnels” what the FUCK

 **official archive whore** : Michael said the Circus was in the Institute and you went looking for them? Even after everything I told you??

 **official archive whore** : FUCK i can’t believe you it’s like you’ve got some kind of fucking death wish

 **official archive whore** : you said we would work together! you said we were a team! but clearly you don’t believe that so

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I’d like to say everything Tim said, along with this-

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : Gertrude didn’t have any assistants. It’s not that she wasn’t given any, but that they all disappeared over their time working with her

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : you think you’re in danger? well then so are we.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I almost got taken by the Circus. Martin almost got killed by Prentiss. And that’s within the first YEAR of working. Gertrude worked as the Archivist for almost fifty years.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : if you refuse to work as a team, it’s not just your life you’re risking. it’s ours too.

 **ghost bb** : Jon, I...

 **ghost bb** : I thought you were better than this. My life might not be in danger, but I feel lied to. 

**ghost bb** : You fucked up. 

**ghost bb** : And what really sucks is that I know you. I know that you didn’t do this with bad intentions. Maybe you even thought you were protecting the others by going alone. But what you succeeded in doing is hurting yourself physically, and hurting everyone emotionally.

 **ghost bb** : Really hope you can get your assistants to forgive you because I don’t know if I would.

 **ghost bb** : I hope you feel better soon. I really do. And I’m not personally mad at you, I’m mad for the others.

 **ghost bb** : Because you betrayed their trust. 

**our mum** : I don’t really have anything to add, I guess. 

**our mum** : Just that we want to help you, Jon. But we can’t if you don’t let us.

 **a child** _is typing..._

 **a child** _is typing..._

 **a child** _is typing..._

 **a child** _has left the chat_


	13. Now We F*cked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **still can’t find a boo** : Melanie help me
> 
> **all these ghosts** : who do you need dead?
> 
> **still can’t find a boo** : I fucked up. I fucked up bad.
> 
> **all these ghosts** : who’s body do I need to hide?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers: okay this is not good you need to fix this
> 
> Me: what? you want more melanie content?
> 
> Readers: no, that’s not-
> 
> Me: Alright, here you go!

**still can’t find a boo** _to_ **all these ghosts** , _20:35_

**still can’t find a boo** : Melanie help me

**all these ghosts** : who do you need dead?

**still can’t find a boo** : I fucked up. I fucked up bad.

**all these ghosts** : who’s body do I need to hide?

**still can’t find a boo** : MELANIE

**still can’t find a boo** : This is serious!

**all these ghosts** : are you pregnant?

**still can’t find a boo** : What? No!

**all these ghosts** : okay what do you need?

**still can’t find a boo** : I don’t know.

**still can’t find a boo** : Probably for you to tell me I’m overreacting.

**all these ghosts** : okay. you’re overreacting 

**still can’t find a boo** : No!

**all these ghosts** : I’m so confused

**still can’t find a boo** : Let me tell you what happened and then you can tell me if I’m overreacting 

**all these ghosts** : okay

**still can’t find a boo** : So you remember Jon, I told you about him?

**all these ghosts** : wish I didn’t haha

**still can’t find a boo** : shut up

**still can’t find a boo** : So he did something really stupid and he got hurt doing it.

**all these ghosts** : so far, entirely in character

**still can’t find a boo** : Melanie please just shut the fuck up I know you dont like him but I do so stop

**all these ghosts** : right, sorry

**still can’t find a boo** : So he ended up texting Martin after it happened, and Martin texted all of us, and we all yelled at him over the chat.

**still can’t find a boo** : then he left the chat and he’s not responding to any calls/texts

**all these ghosts** : he probably just needs some time? I mean if you all yelled at him?

**still can’t find a boo** : Okay but I tried that

**still can’t find a boo** : This was four days ago.

**still can’t find a boo** : I just wanted to talk to him before he had to come face to face with the other people tomorrow.

**all these ghosts** : okay.

**all these ghosts** : you’re probably overreacting? I mean how bad was the yelling bit?

**still can’t find a boo** : _sent five images_ (Screenshots of the aforementioned yelling bit)

**all these ghosts** : okay that’s not ideal

**all these ghosts** : I do not understand half of it? but I’m sure it’s context

**still can’t find a boo** : tell me I did the right thing?

**all these ghosts** : if what you said was true, and we’re actually really similar people

**all these ghosts** : oh absolutely not.

**all these ghosts** : christ I don’t like the guy but you guys were brutal 

**all these ghosts** : I’m assuming trust is a problem for him based on some of this

**all these ghosts** : and you guys essentially all turned against him? after he got hurt? 

**all these ghosts** : all you’ve done is make it so that he won’t turn to you next time he’s been hurt

**all these ghosts** : this is probably the worst thing you could have done

**still can’t find a boo** : Great. Thanks.

**all these ghosts** : I mean I can’t lie to you Georgie

**all these ghosts** : he fucked up? okay. but you guys fucked up too. and now you’re going to have to be the first to apologize.

**all these ghosts** : you as a group, not just you individually.

**still can’t find a boo** : why do I have to apologize first?

**all these ghosts** : if you don’t, he’ll never apologize for the stupid thing, and you’ll loose him.

**all these ghosts** : and you need to apologize in person. show that you mean it.

**still can’t find a boo** : I’ll talk to the others. Thank you.

**all these ghosts** : glad I could help

**ghost bb** _has created a group chat_

**ghost bb** _added_ **our mum** _to the chat_

**ghost bb** _renamed the chat_ **name of chat**

**ghost bb** : Can we talk before I add the others?

**our mum** : About Jon?

**ghost bb** : Yeah

**our mum** : Christ I feel awful

**our mum** : Like I should have just yelled at him on my own

**our mum** : Like I started that and I made it worse then it had to be 

**our mum** : I just thought everyone needed to know he was in the tunnels

**our mum** : I don’t even know why I thought everyone needed to know I just thought 

**our mum** : I don’t know what I thought. Maybe I wasn’t thinking.

**our mum** : But it hurt to see him like that, when he texted me

**our mum** : It was three in the morning, and I just couldn’t sleep? 

**our mum** : He was in such a state that within the conversation he had several typos, and he cursed, and he came out as trans?

**our mum** : Which is just entirely not like him and I was so worried, and I just wanted to help him.

**our mum** : I don’t know how to help Jon! I can hardly hold a conversation with him!

**our mum** : And you and Tim and Sasha are just so much better at talking to Jon and getting him to actually listen

**our mum** : I don’t want him to go back there, it’s not safe, and the tunnels mess with your head

**our mum** : I keep having nightmares about being in that place and I just can’t stop thinking about Jon being in there and it just makes me feel awful

**our mum** : But the way we tried to stop him makes me feel awful too and I don’t know what’s the right thing to do

**ghost bb** : Yeah, I know how you feel.

**ghost bb** : He actually came out to you?

**our mum** : Yeah

**our mum** : I’m not going to say anything about it, obviously. I just assumed you knew.

**ghost bb** : Yeah I know

**ghost bb** : Honestly though, the reason I wanted to talk to you was because I thought you would be better at talking to Jon than anyone else

**our mum** : Me? Why?

**ghost bb** : Everyone else is great, don’t get me wrong, but you’re just so overly kind. You seem like a safe person, and I know Jon feels that way too.

**ghost bb** : We need Jon to trust us and you’re so easy to trust. You might be the only one he’d listen to

**our mum** : Even though I started this whole mess?

**ghost bb** : It’s not your fault.

**our mum** : It is, but thanks for saying that.

**ghost bb** _added_ **official archive whore** _to the chat_

**ghost bb** _added_ **it’s called privacy, sasha** _to the chat_

**ghost bb** : Guys I have guilt.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : about Jon?

**official archive whore** : I don’t

**ghost bb** : Tim

**official archive whore** : you know him better than any of us, georgie 

**official archive whore** : does he trust us?

**ghost bb** : That’s not how it works for him.

**official archive whore** : then I don’t have guilt.

**ghost bb** : He wants to trust you guys. He called you his friends.

**ghost bb** : But Jon is very paranoid. Always has been. Trusting people doesn’t come easy to him.

**ghost bb** : And he’s been essentially on his own for... five years? six?

**ghost bb** : He just needs more time. And our help.

**our mum** : I’m with you.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : At the beginning of this, I told myself I was going to save Jon from a mental breakdown, and I can’t do that if I’m causing it. I’m in.

**official archive whore** : so what he just gets a free pass for being a prick because you guys feel sorry for him?

**ghost bb** : Tim

**official archive whore** : no. he doesn’t. 

**official archive whore** : if you guys really want to help him, you won’t let him walk all over us.

**official archive whore** : going into the tunnels was a betrayal of our trust. doesn’t matter if he’s the fucking queen, he still fucked up.

**official archive whore** : he’s a grown ass man who needs to take consequences for his actions

**official archive whore** : but

**official archive whore** _changed the chat name to_ **Operation Help Jon Trust Us**

**official archive whore** : as long as we agree to that, I’ll help you.

**our mum** _to_ **a child** , _9:02_

**our mum** : It’s just me at the door. Can I come in? I have tea.

**a child** : Fine.


	14. We Need More Lesbians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Basira Hussain** :We were arresting a guy outside a steampunk store and the window display looked almost identical to your costume.
> 
>  **Jonathan Sims** : Wow.
> 
>  **Basira Hussain** : It was a nice story in my head, but seems really creepy typed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are not Mechs fans, Frank Voss (the voice of Basira) was also the bass player in The Mechanisms.
> 
> *Edited because I accidentally misgendered one of the Mechanisms members. So sorry!

**[Unknown Number]** _to_ **Jonathan Sims** , _12:07_

 **[Unknown Number]** : Hey this is Basira

 **Jonathan Sims** : Alright.

 **Jonathan Sims** _changed_ **[Unknown Number]** _name to_ **Basira Hussain**

 **Basira Hussain** : So basically, like I said earlier, I don’t know how often I can bring you those tapes, but I’ll try my best

 **Jonathan Sims** : Don’t worry about it.

 **Jonathan Sims** : I just want to know what happened to her.

 **Basira Hussain** : Okay, I have to be honest with you.

 **Basira Hussain** : They’re looking at you as the main suspect in Gertrude Robinson’s murder.

 **Basira Hussain** : That’s the real reason I was able to give you the first tape. But when I got there, and saw that it was actually you and not some other Jonathan Sims?

 **Basira Hussain** : I’m still “investigating” you

 **Basira Hussain** : But I don’t think you’re capable of murder.

 **Basira Hussain** : Unless you’ve gone completely mental in the last six years.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Some people would tell you I have.

 **Basira Hussain** : You realize that doesn’t help my “not a murderer” theory, right?

 **Jonathan Sims** : Yes I realize that now.

 **Jonathan Sims** : But we’re on the same side. If whoever did this came after me or my assistants I don’t know what I’d do.

 **Basira Hussain** : Yeah.

 **Jonathan Sims** : ...So how’ve you been?

 **Basira Hussain** : Not too bad. You?

 **Jonathan Sims** : Same here.

 **Basira Hussain** : God this is awkward.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Yes it is.

 **Basira Hussain** : I was actually thinking of you the other day.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Really?

 **Basira Hussain** : Not in a creepy way or anything, but yeah. We were arresting a guy outside a steampunk store and the window display looked almost identical to your costume.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Wow.

 **Basira Hussain** : It was a nice story in my head, but seems really creepy typed out.

 **Jonathan Sims** : No hah it’s fine.

 **Jonathan Sims** : I mean every time I hear a song with a strong bass line I think “oh Basira would love that”

 **Basira Hussain** : I’d say same, but not many people use harmonica?

 **Jonathan Sims** : It is heavily underrepresented

 **Jonathan Sims** : Do you still play?

 **Basira Hussain** : Not really. Don’t have a lot of time. I’ve got it displayed in my living room though.

 **Jonathan Sims** : What like hanging on the wall?

 **Basira Hussain** : Oh hell no. Do you know how expensive that thing was? If it fell and broke I’d never forgive myself.

 **Basira Hussain** : Not including the sentimental value.

 **Basira Hussain** : But I’ve got it on a stand.

 **Basira Hussain** : Daisy thought it was hilarious.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Who’s Daisy?

 **Basira Hussain** : My partner.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Oh that’s great! How long have you two been together?

 **Basira Hussain** : Three years

 **Basira Hussain** : WAIT NO

 **Basira Hussain** : She’s my POLICE partner we are not dating

 **Jonathan Sims** : Oh I’m sorry.

 **Basira Hussain** : No it’s fine, I didn’t process the question correctly 

**Jonathan Sims** : I’m just trying to be like every other bi man and live vicariously through all the lesbians I know.

 **Basira Hussain** : Jon you cannot text me things like this I choked on my coffee and Daisy thought I was dying

 **Jonathan Sims** : I’m sorry?

 **Basira Hussain** : You should be ;)

 **Jonathan Sims** : :)

 **Basira Hussain** : How many other lesbians do you know?

 **Jonathan Sims** : Technically none

 **Jonathan Sims** : They’re all bi

 **Basira Hussain** : wlw rights

 **Basira Hussain** : But do you still talk to anyone else?

 **Jonathan Sims** : No, actually I’ve only spoken to you and Georgie since graduation.

 **Basira Hussain** : You talked to Georgie? There’s something I didn’t think would happen.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Me neither, to be honest.

 **Jonathan Sims** : We tried being friends, but I don’t think it’s going to work. At least I got to see The Admiral again.

 **Basira Hussain** : I miss The Admiral

 **Basira Hussain** : But what do you mean? Still too awkward to talk to her?

 **Jonathan Sims** : She’s just...

 **Jonathan Sims** : She knows exactly how to hurt me, and she’s not shy about reminding me of that.

 **Basira Hussain** : Ouch.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Yeah.

 **Jonathan Sims** : I was too quick to trust her, due to our history.

 **Basira Hussain** : One could argue that you and I are doing the same thing right now.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Probably. But despite everything, you were always honest. 

**Basira Hussain** : I tried.

 **Basira Hussain** : Would you be willing to give me her number? 

**Jonathan Sims** : Sure.

 **Jonathan Sims** : _sent a contact_

 **Basira Hussain** : Thank you.

 **Jonathan Sims** : Now we can do a reunion concert

 **Basira Hussain** : Haha, no.

 **Jonathan Sims** : :(

 **Basira Hussain** : It’s not like we have contacts for anyone else. It would be a very sad reunion concert. 

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes it would.

 **Basira Hussain** : Hey I have to go but we’ll talk later yeah?

 **Jonathan Sims** : Of course.


	15. A Halloween Party’s A Rad Excuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **it’s called privacy, sasha** : Martin are you okay?
> 
>  **our mum** : Yeah I’m fine!
> 
>  **it’s called privacy, sasha** : are you sure?
> 
>  **it’s called privacy, sasha** : because I can see your computer from here and you’re listening to Heather by Conan Gray on repeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so to answer a question a lot of y’all were asking: the last chapter officially took place a few days after jon/martin had a conversation, but it doesn’t really matter.
> 
> also, would any of y’all be interested in doing a q+a? lmk please because I will willingly infodump about this fic

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

_13:34_

**official archive whore** : are we doing something for halloween?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : why?

 **official archive whore** : because it’s our first halloween together?

 **official archive whore** : because you can still cut the tension in the archives with a knife despite the fact that it’s almost been a month?

 **official archive whore** : because except for martin, jon won’t talk to any of us so clearly this method isn’t working?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : so what, we all throw a party and jon doesn’t come and we all feel bad?

 **our mum** : If we throw a party in the Archives after work, Jon won’t have left yet and we can trap him.

 **official archive whore** : this is why we sent martin in first

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I mean it could work? but we should invite Georgie too.

 **official archive whore** : oh and we can invite jon’s girlfriend!

 **our mum** : ...

 **our mum** : Jon has a girlfriend?

 **official archive whore** : shit you didn’t know?

 **official archive whore** : if it makes you feel better she’s a cop 

**our mum** : Why would that make me feel better?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : Tim are you sure they’re dating?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : it doesn’t make sense for martin to be the only one of us talking to jon and not know anything

 **official archive whore** : we’ve already established that jon doesn’t tell us things

 **official archive whore** : why else would she come so often?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : Martin are you okay?

 **our mum** : Yeah I’m fine!

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : are you sure?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : because I can see your computer from here and you’re listening to Heather by Conan Gray on repeat

 **our mum** : Let me yearn in peace, Sasha

 **our mum** : I definitely was not spending the last month heavily reading into the fact that he was talking to me and no one else.

 **official archive whore** : lol imagine being in love with someone who has no clue you’re in love with them can’t relate

 **our mum** : Shut up Tim.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I’m down for a party, but how are we supposed to get Jon to invite his girlfriend without telling him?

 **our mum** : Asking Jon to invite her to come to the Archives after hours for “reasons” isn’t going to work.

 **our mum** : I guess she can’t come oh what a shame.

 **official archive whore** : maybe georgie knows her.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I GUESS SHE CANT COME WHAT A SHAME

 **our mum** : I bet she doesn’t.

**Operation Help Jon Trust Us**

_13:56_

**official archive whore** : hey georgie we have a plan to get jon to talk to all of us

 **ghost bb** : What is it?

 **official archive whore** : we’re throwing a halloween party in the archives so that he has to come

 **ghost bb** : I mean, it could work? It’s risky though, could make him close off more

 **official archive whore** : yeah that’s why I thought we should invite someone we know he likes

 **official archive whore** : but I was wondering if you knew who his girlfriend was

 **ghost bb** : JON HAS A GIRLFRIEND?

 **ghost bb** : SINCE WHEN?

 **official archive whore** : pretty recently I think.

 **our mum** : Well if you don’t know I guess we can’t get her to come

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : yeah let’s not worry about it

 **ghost bb** : I mean do you know her name?

 **official archive whore** : I do not but I know she’s a cop and she wears a hijab and is kind of scary

 **ghost bb** : Oh my god she is NOT Jon’s girlfriend!

 **official archive whore** : what?

 **our mum** : Really?

 **ghost bb** : I have it on good authority that they are not dating.

 **ghost bb** : And actually Tim  
I am disappointed that you haven’t recognized her yet

 **ghost bb** : That’s one of our friends from uni, Basira Hussain.

 **official archive whore** : also known as ASHES O’REILLY god i’m stupid 

**ghost bb** : I’ve spoken to her a few times recently I can probably still invite her

 **official archive whore** : yeah do that

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : but we should tell her everything that’s happened so she knows why the party is going to be a little awkward?

 **ghost bb** : She’s been pretty don’t know/don’t care about the whole situation but I’ll try 

**official archive whore** : alright thank you!

 **ghost bb** : np

**a child** _to_ **our mum** , _14:41_

 **a child** : What exactly are all of you doing out there?

 **our mum** : Nothing much. Tim’s got some dumb idea, and is trying to brainstorm I think

 **a child** : He is so loud.

 **our mum** : I’ll tell him to be quiet.

 **a child** : Thank you.

 **a child** : It wouldn’t be a problem, I’m just trying to record a statement.

 **our mum** : Yeah don’t worry about it.

 **a child** : What is Tim’s idea about anyways?

 **our mum** : He’s throwing some kind of party? For Halloween I think.

 **a child** : Why?

 **our mum** : Honestly I have no clue. Think he just wants to throw a party.

 **a child** : And you’re going to make me come, aren’t you.

 **our mum** : I can’t make you do anything Jon.

 **a child** : Yes I suppose so.

 **a child** : But you’re going to ask.

 **our mum** : If I’m invited to the party, then yeah I’d probably ask you to come too.

 **a child** : Why wouldn’t Tim invite you?

 **our mum** : I don’t know.

 **our mum** : Really I think he’s mad at me right now, even if he doesn’t say it.

 **a child** : Why?

 **our mum** : It’s complicated, Jon.

 **a child** : It’s about me, isn’t it.

 **our mum** : I don’t think he’s forgiven you really. Not yet. 

**a child** : And you forgave me awfully fast.

 **our mum** : Yeah I don’t like being mad at people.

 **our mum** : I probably shouldn’t tell you this.

 **our mum** : But the reason Tim hasn’t forgiven you is because that’s how Danny died. Exploring tunnels he wasn’t supposed to be. It just reopened an old wound for him, I guess.

 **a child** : Christ I didn’t think of it like that.

 **our mum** : Me neither, at first. Sasha actually had to mention something.

 **a child** : Well, how about this. If Tim doesn’t invite you to his party, you and I can have our own Halloween party. Just us.

 **our mum** : I’d like that, Jon.

 **our mum** : But we’ve just been invited to Tim’s party.

 **a child** : Oh, have fun then.

 **our mum** : You should come, Jon. Talk to them. Give them a second chance.

 **a child** : I’ll think about it.

 **our mum** : Come for fifteen minutes. If you’re really miserable, I’ll take you home and we can still have our own party. How about that?

 **a child** : Sure. But only for you.

 **our mum** : Thank you, Jon.

 **a child** : :)


	16. Did Someone Order More Homoromantic Undertones?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **a child** : You said we could leave when I wanted to. 
> 
> **our mum** : You JUST said you didn’t want to leave
> 
>  **a child** : That was before Tim wanted to play Cards Against Humanity.

**Basira 🏵** _to_ **Daisy 🌼** , _19:02 ___

__**Basira 🏵** : You know what’s really fun? Going to a party with a bunch of people I don’t know, and not drinking._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Stand up, leave the room. Stay there for five minutes. Come back in the room, tell them you’ve got a police emergency, and leave. Then come to my place._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Sorry, not happening._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : I’m sure it’ll get better. It’s only been fifteen minutes_ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : You can ditch out at any time, I don’t have any plans._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : 10-4_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : So they’ve taken the Archives, which are admittedly pretty creepy on their own, and they’ve got a bunch of Halloween decorations up._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Like cobwebs and Jack-o-lanterns and shit._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : _sent an image_ (A plastic skeleton sitting on a chair, with a sign taped to his chest that reads “RIP Joe Spooky”)_ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : He will be missed._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Who all is there?_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : A couple of people I knew in uni, and some of their coworkers._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Sims?_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Yeah he’s still here. Looks a bit antsy, hovering around Martin._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : What kind of antsy?_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Not *that* kind of antsy. Just like he doesn’t want to be there. Seems more scared of the others than me._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Still don’t trust him._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : I know you don’t. But Jon couldn’t even kill spiders in uni. He’s also not subtle enough to be a murderer._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Sometimes it’s not about subtlety._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : If you knew him, you’d know._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Hm._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Oh god._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Well, this is about to get interesting._ _

__

__**our mum** _to_ **a child** , _19:05__ _

__**our mum** : Hey, it’s been fifteen minutes! Do you want to head out?_ _

__**a child** : Do you want to head out?_ _

__**our mum** : It’s not about me, Jon. I’ll do whatever you want me to._ _

__**a child** : I think I’d like to stay a little longer._ _

__**our mum** : !!!_ _

__**our mum** : Alright, let me know if that changes!_ _

__**a child** : It’s changed it’s changed_ _

__**our mum** : Not what I meant, Jon._ _

__**a child** : You said we could leave when I wanted to. _ _

__**our mum** : You JUST said you didn’t want to leave_ _

__**a child** : That was before Tim wanted to play Cards Against Humanity._ _

__**our mum** : It’ll be okay, Jon. I’m not very good at that game either._ _

__**a child** : I don’t care about losing. I’m concerned about what he means by “special version”._ _

__**our mum** : I thinkhe made his own cards_ _

__**our mum** : I now see why you’re concerned._ _

__

__**Basira 🏵** _to_ **Daisy 🌼** , _19:47__ _

__**Basira 🏵** : This is the wildest Cards Against Humanity game I’ve ever been a part of._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : How many CAH games have you been a part of?_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Admittedly, two._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : But seriously though._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Remember when we played with the sectioned paramedics and firefighters at that lake house? When we all got yelled at for playing CAH at at crime scene?_ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Yes, fondly._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : The Archives people would give those guys a run for their money._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Apparently Tim made his own deck so I don’t get all the inside jokes but_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : The Black Card was “What caused Elias Bouchard’s third divorce?” and the White Cards were “Wet dreams about the Kool-Aid man”, “Worms?”, “A double homicide charge” and “Becoming a sugar daddy”_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Tim is winning, but Jon is pretty close_ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Why specifically his third divorce?_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : No clue._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Now Sasha just won the last two rounds she might pull through._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : I love having you tell me all these names like I know who these people are._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Eh, fuck off_ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Make me._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : The game is over, Sasha won. _ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Good for her._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : What on EARTH I left the room for a second and Jon immediately said “okay now that she’s gone I need to talk to all of you”_ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : What?_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : I have to pee but it’s sleuthing time._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Go get em._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Okay so it sounds like Jon’s apologizing for something?_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : “I should have told you all what I was doing. I was trying to protect you all, but it didn’t work out like that. I’m sorry.”_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : “The truth is I’m scared. When I record statements, I can feel something watching me. Whatever’s happening here is bigger than all of us. We need to do this together. That is, if you still want to work with me.”_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Tim’s talking now _ _

__**Basira 🏵** : “I think we need to apologize too. I know I need to.”_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Jon- “No, please don’t. I know you all... we’ve all done things we regret. Let’s just call it even”_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : wait now that doesn’t make sense_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Jon- “whoever killed Gertrude, we need to figure it out relatively quickly. We all the supernatural shit after us, we can’t waste time focusing on a human.”_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : They’ve agreed to talk about it on Monday, and have changed the conversation to cats._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Thought Jon was talking about Robinson, but he must have done something while trying to investigate._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : I’m not sure what to do with this information._ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Want me to go full operational discretion?_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Stay out of my case, Daisy._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Jon didn’t kill Robinson, even if he seems deeper in the case than he should be. If he goes “missing”, I’m reporting your arse_ _

__**Daisy 🌼** : Alright, relax. Just let me know if that changes._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Always._ _

__

__**our mum** _to_ **a child** , _23:02__ _

__**our mum** : Did you get home safe?_ _

__**a child** : Yes. Did you?_ _

__**our mum** : Yeah I just got back_ _

__**our mum** : Thank you for coming to the party tonight._ _

__**our mum** : I wasn’t expecting your speech after CAH, but I’m glad everything worked out._ _

__**our mum** : I’m proud of you, Jon._ _

__**a child** : Thank you, Martin _ _

__**a child** : Good night <3_ _

__**a child** : I’m sorry, was the heart weird?_ _

__**a child** : I’m really tired _ _

__**our mum** : Not weird at all_ _

__**our mum** : Good night, Jon <3_ _


	17. Elias Bouchard?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **a child** : I’d prefer if my phone did not blow up during my surprise meetings with Elias.
> 
> **official archive whore** : lol imagine having to interact with elias

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

_10:54_

**our mum** : Hey since we’re all friends now should we add Jon to the chat?

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : let’s make another one instead? and keep this one for assistants. and the one with Jon can be more for work stuff

**official archive whore** : ^^^

**our mum** : Okay I’ll make it real quick

**our mum** _created a group chat_

**our mum** _added_ **a child** _to the chat_

**our mum** _added_ **it’s called privacy, sasha** _to the chat_

**our mum** _added_ **official archive whore** _to the chat_

**our mum** _renamed the chat_ **”Official” Chat For “Work”**

**our mum** : There, now we have a chat

**official archive whore** : andisuhehensissak “official”

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : “work”

**a child** : Do try to keep this chat to a minimum during work hours, however.

**official archive whore** : boo

**a child** : I’d prefer if my phone did not blow up during my surprise meetings with Elias.

**official archive whore** : lol imagine having to interact with elias 

**a child** : Tim please 

**official archive whore** : I know, I need to be more respectful towards our boss

**a child** : No actually, I was going to say that having to meet with him once a week at random, unpredictable times is painful enough please don’t remind me that you only have talk to that godforsaken bastard once or twice a year

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : well that was unexpected 

**a child** : What is?

**our mum** : You swearing in front of us.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : and the fact that you hate Elias as much as we do

**a child** : Sasha, that just isn’t true

**a child** : There is no way I hate Elias as much as the three of you

**a child** : I hate him much more.

**official archive whore** : nah I don’t believe that

**a child** : How dare you question me

**a child** : Do you need proof? Do I really need to go on about Elias Bouchard? Stupid idiot motherfucking Elias Bouchard, god damn fool creepy ass dust eating rat old bastard shithead idiot homophobic misogynistic whore biggest clown in the circus laughed out of town cowboy motherfucking Elias Bouchard?

**a child** : If I wanted to get into Heaven and God said, “Elias Bouchard is waiting inside” I would piss on Her feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

**a child** : Crusty old man. I’ll punch Elias and his said frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all that’s left is dust

**a child** : I cannot wait until the day he dies so that I can make it a reminder on my phone and once a year I will see it and do anything but pay respects to that piece of shit excuse for a human

**official archive whore** : OKAY JON STOP WE BELIEVE YOU

**a child** : I am not breathing I am hyperventilating at this point do NOT test my hatred of Elias Douchard, king of wankers

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : oh my god this is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : I am also not breathing but because I’m laughing so hard

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Jon mate you went ABSOLUTELY FERAL

**our mum** : Should I... bring you some tea or something?

**a child** : Yes please Martin

**a child** : He also happens to be my top suspect for the Gertrude murder

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : that makes sense though

**a child** : I told Basira about it. She said either she or her partner will question him asap, but asap isn’t as fast as you’d think for cases involving the supernatural 

**our mum** : I thought Gertrude was just murdered?

**a child** : Yes, but everything involving the Institute has to be dealt with by their special supernatural police officers

**a child** : Just in case

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Jon we just got a call from Rosie there’s a woman here to give a statement.

**a child** : Can you go get her for me? I’ll take the statement but I need to grab some more tape.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Alright!

**a child** : Everyone else, keep working. Talk to you all later.

**official archive whore** : alright boss have fun!

**a child** : Oh, you know me.

_11:47_

**a child** : Sasha can you escort Ms. Richardson out? She’s just come from Michael’s corridors.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Oh god, of course!

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Is she coming out of your office anytime soon, or are you still speaking to her?

**a child** : What do you mean?

**a child** : She left my office a minute ago.

**a child** : Õ̵̧̝̗̬͙̱̦̼̪̼̥͉̝̞̩̺̼͎̥̙͎̲͜͜h̷̨̧̧̨̤̥̳̤͖̰̠̠̱̮͔̠͔̦̦̏ͅ ̴̡̧̨̡̮̭̬͎͖̲̩̪̗̺͈̦̥̟̪͈̹̭̔̀͋̆͗̀̉̑̑̂̓̋͒̑̿̍̍̇̒͋̑̄̕͝͝ͅņ̷̡̘̲̣̰̤̮͍̼̙̙̳̞̀͆͊̈́̃̎́͊̏̆͆͂͗̊̔͠ͅơ̶̤̮͐̂̀̄͆̅̏̑̈́̀̅͆͒̎̽͗͌͆̀̚̕͝͝.̴̨̧̨̥̬͙̥̳͉͇͇̜̞̼̳̺͎̤̰̫̟̹̹͇̲͔͎̔̅̓̈́̽͒̄̀̽͐͗̋̆̓̓͗̉̿́̕̕͜ͅ


	18. Author Interlude (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> girl don’t do it isn’t not worth it
> 
> i’m not gonna do it, i was just thinking about it i’m not gonna do it
> 
> ...
> 
> i did it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor season two spoilers, but I assume all of you have seen though season two at this point.

To all my lovely readers,

First of all, thank you guys so much for (at the time of writing this) 3525 hits, 42 bookmarks, 170 comments and 308 kudos! I’m absolutely blown away by the support this fic has gotten, which is way more than any of my other stories. Special thanks to “tickingclockheart” who actually offered to make Tim’s Worms? parody, which is just so cool. I love seeing all of your reactions, especially when something bad happens.

Now to the difficult part: I published the first chapter of this with ABSOLUTELY NO PLAN. Somehow, I’ve gotten through seventeen chapters. And I do have plans for some season three/four stuff. However, I’ve hit a bit of a wall. Like, does anything important happen in season two, (she says, knowing that she destroyed the two biggest plot points (not-sasha and jon’s paranoia/stalking))?

That being said, I don’t want to leave y’all with absolutely nothing while I figure out how to get from here to brutal pipe murder. So, I’m going to be doing a bit of a Q+A. 

You may ask yourself, is it a little pretentious to do a Q+A for a fanfiction, and a chat fic no less? The answer is probably yes. But I think it would be fun. If everyone thinks that’s a horrible idea, you guys can just... not leave questions, I guess.

I will answer any questions, whether they be about my plans for the fic, my thoughts on TMA, or just random personal questions. You guys can ask more than one question, and I’ll answer them all (without spoiling anything too big for the fic that is!)

If this is something y’all are interested in, leave your questions in the comments. If not, we’re officially on hiatus, and it’s going to be a bit until the next chapter. 

Thank you all,

thedogfrommakingahome


	19. Authors Interlude (Part Two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I HAVENT LISTENED TO THE NEW EPISODE YET PLEASE DONT SAY ANYTHING

Y’all I just had fillings and my entire mouth is numb but it’s question time!

But first: If you haven’t already, you should check out my other TMA fics! I’ve got a Scottish Safehouse AU, a pre-Unknowing fic, and a WIP Time Travel AU!

**NewTimelineNewMe** asks:  
_*kicks legs like a teen girl at a sleepover* who do you like?_

Now technically I could probably get away with not answering this one because I know this person in real life. But I’ll just say there are three pretty girls I interact with on a daily basis who I’d go out with if they asked.

**greeneggsandsam** asks: _maybe going into jon’s neurodivergence a little? i’ve always really liked that hc and i think it would help tim be a bit more understanding here? and obv im always a slut for jonmartin 💞 big fan!! love it so far_

I’m glad you’re enjoying the story! This is a longer answer, because it’s something I’ve thought about a lot. 

So for my personal headcanon, Jon has ASD, also known as autism spectrum disorder. (Not Aspergers. There is a slight difference but I don’t wanna info dump on y’all about this.) Since it is significantly harder to get a diagnosis for women, Jon was diagnosed by a psychology teacher at Oxford. That teacher (who’s name is Doctor Carmilla) ended up being a massive influence on his life. She convinced him to switch to a parapsychology major, and was the one who told him about the Magnus Institute. She had an almost magnetic pull on neurodivergant queer kids, even those who weren’t studying psychology, and a small “study group” quickly became The Mechanisms. She died a year after Jon graduated.

Okay so I just went through all of that just to say that Jon’s got a lot of built up ableism which drives most of his actions. Instead of admitting that he’s confused by his own feelings, he pretends he doesn’t have any. Instead of healthy stimming, he snaps at people and smokes and wears his binder for twelve hours at a time. He’s convinced that if he’s not contributing something useful to society, he’s a waste of space. (Who knows, maybe his new friends can help him with that!)

Also, I agree that Tim knowing Jon’s diagnosis would be helpful. If you know very little about ADHD and ASD, they’re essentially sister disorders. They share a lot of similar side effects. However, at this point Jon would think that talking about his diagnosis is “being weak”. We as an audience know that his friends would support him, and I hope Jon figures that out eventually.

**joschmo** asks (condensed version): _  
I know you were kinda joking about what happens in season 2, but for me season 2 was when I started recognizing the recurring names and figures surrounding statements... So my question for you is: who is your favorite side character in TMA?_

Oh gosh, I don’t know if I can pick one! For the sake of this question, I’m going to pick two.

My favorite side character who we HEAR SPEAK IN PODCAST is Peter Lukas. I don’t know why, I realize he’s probably one of the most dangerous villains in the podcast. But every time he started talking, I’d just get so happy? I love him. He’s not dead, he’s kayaking with Tim now.

My favorite side character who DOES NOT SPEAK IN PODCAST is actually Adelard Dekker. My biggest fear is that I’m going to dedicate my entire life to something only to find out at the end that it was useless. I don’t know if that’s what Jonny was trying to do with Dekker and the Extinction, but that’s what it felt like for me. 

**joschmo** also asks (condensed version): _...I've always thought Tim's mental downfall was as complex as Jon's descent into paranoia. It isn't just Sasha dying that sets him off, or Jon's stalking, it's his own obsession with Smirke and finding something to help avenge Danny, while also feeling trapped and helpless that drives him to his explosive ending... so how are you planning on handling that here? Also, some people have Danny be semi-alive in some way and possibly saveable. Is that an avenue you would want to explore?_

First of all, Tim did not explode, he’s kayaking with Peter Lukas. 

Secondly, just as Tim’s downfall has many different parts, preventing said downfall has many different parts. Sasha being alive will help. (another personal headcanon: Tim is actually in love with Sasha, but she doesn’t believe him since he flirts with everyone.) Jon not stalking them will help. Not being able to quit will NOT help. I don’t want to get too spoiler-y, but it will take some work to keep him off that edge. 

I do not personally believe that Tim would be able to ever fully heal from the pain of Danny’s death. Does that mean I’m bringing Danny back? 🤷♀️ We will see. I’ve been toying with several different versions of the Unknowing, and I’m not sure how all of this is going to end. 

_**imlovedavepeta** asks: _Who’s your favorite to write?? :D__

Michael is simultaneously awesome to write for and the bane of my existence. Everything he says has to be unnerving and nonsensical, but it’s a certain level of unnerving and nonsensical, and it’s different than Helen’s unnerving and nonsensical. It’s difficult to feel like I’ve gotten his lines right, but it’s also very fun and I love the excuse to use zalago text. 

Another one I had more fun writing for that I thought I would was actually Daisy. I feel like a lot of writers rush to make her Post-Coffin, and by not immediately putting her into therapy I felt I was taking a big risk. But I feel like I’ve found a balance between the “police brutality coursing through my veins” and the “Basira I trust you with my life I would die for you I would kill for you my love for you is the only human emotion I feel”. 

_**not_mikewazowski** asked: _OK SO thoughts on s5 so far? which has been your favourite domain?__

Season Five has been amazing so far, except MY BOYS NEED TO COMMUNICATE MORE I SWEAR TO GOD. My favorite domain was either 170 (Recollection) or 177 (Wonderland). But there have been so many good moments! 

_**not_mikewazowski** also asked: _also how are you able to write so fast? it’s honestly impressive the rate at which you’re publishing these chapters ajddjhdndnsb__

Alright kiddos here’s an example of “do as I say not as I do”. I’m a virtual student, and so I pull out my phone when I get bored and write during school. And I get bored a lot. 

Also, do you know how neurotypicals think hyperfixations are like a superpower? It is very rarely true, but I’m really focused on this fic right now and it made it easier get through a lot of chapters in a little time. 

Logistically, I usually pick a canon event, or write a funny scene/line and use that as a sort of spring board for the rest of the chapter. 

_**not_mikewazowski** also asked: _ALSO would you ever consider peeling and eating a lemon whole, and if you ever do it would you share your thoughts on that?__

Oh god. No. Never ever would I do that. I cannot stand sour things, even candies. I would never ever do that, and even thinking about it feels Bad. 

_**Cassianfaux** asked: _who's ur favourite character?__

I kind of already answered this one? I love Peter Lukas more than life itself. But if I had to pick a main character, it’d be either one of the Archivists (Gertrude or Jon). Or, The Admiral. 

_**Cassianfaux** also asked: _also opinion on crows? :3__

Babies. Definitely people. Really hate when they come to my house just to mock me about my lost loves though. 

_**blatherskites** asked: _does the way everyone treated him after he got hurt ever going to be brought up again ?? love this story btw !! <3<3__

The short answer is yes and no. 

The long answer is that these characters have moved past that event, and really have forgiven each other for it. That’s sincere, they’re not mad anymore. But it will come up again... kind of? It’s not the kind of thing that you can completely forget about, and it will effect some of Jon’s future choices. But this group of people are essentially the kings and queens of repressing emotions, so they’re not going to sit down and be like “this is why what you said hurt me”. 

_**KitIsGr8** asked: Hey! Tjis has been a blast so far but I gotta ask: what fear would you be claimed by_

The Web, though The Lonely has a strong pull on me too. (Just call me Martin Blackwood, I guess.) 

_BONUS QUESTIONS: These are a few questions NewTimelineNewMe has asked me in person, that I’m just added for fun._

_How far does the Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies tag go? Are some characters that are already dead in canon (ie Danny Stoker, Gerry Keay) that will come back?_

Well, I saved Sasha, but killed Gertrude and Prentiss. Hm. Think it really depends on the plot. Do I need this character alive? Is it easier to have them alive for plot points? 

It also depends on whether or not you’d consider the transition from human to Avatar a death. 

__What about the Coffin? Is Daisy still going in? Is Jon?_ _

I can’t get too much into spoilers, but I can tell you that the Coffin will show up. 

__What about the tag “appearances from other avatars”? Are they going to be texting, or just talked about?_ _

_Any avatar you hear speak in podcast will show up at some point. I’m playing with a few different ideas right now._

__Why a dildo wall? Why does that exist?_ _

What can I say, Danny is an ally. 

In all seriousness, I’m in love with the concept of walls made up of things that walls aren’t supposed to be made up of. I got the idea for a “wall of dicks” early on, gave the wall to Tim, then decided to make it hurt and made them all gifts from Danny. And an odd number. 

_And that’s all the questions! Thank you guys for playing along!_


	20. Wheels In Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **our mum** : The doctor also just called me Jon’s boyfriend so we are not having a great time over here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Hiatus” is over. It did not take me that long.

**Sexiest Archive Assistant Ever**

**official archive whore** : anyone else got a sinking feeling that this is our fault?

**our mum** : That’s how I feel everyday with everything that ever happens

**our mum** : But yes, I do too.

**official archive whore** : shit.

**official archive whore** : rip helen richardson, died because we were too quick to trust michael.

**our mum** : Great yeah Tim this is helping

**official archive whore** : what else do you want me to do?

**our mum** : You could start coming up with convincing lies for when we have to go A+E for someone else.

**our mum** : The doctors don’t believe the bread knife story, and Jon’s already covered in scars so they’ve put him on suicide watch.

**our mum** : The doctor also just called me Jon’s boyfriend so we are not having a great time over here.

**official archive whore** : aanshsjbe that’s awesome 

**our mum** : No, Jon shot it down so  
fast my gay heart shattered and fell to the floor in a million pieces.

**our mum** : Have you two found Michael yet?

**official archive whore** : his door isn’t in the archives anymore, and it’s kind of hard to find something that can be in any place it wants.

**official archive whore** : so nothing yet.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Well, not nothing.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : _sent an image_ (A screenshot of the texting app. At the top of her screen, where there should be a button to write a new message, is a door emoji.)

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : I think Michael wants to talk.

**official archive whore** : sasha don’t I don’t think this is a good idea

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : I don’t care if it isn’t a good idea. I’m sick of Michael fucking with me and my friends. He killed a woman. He wants to talk? Let’s fucking talk.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : I’m going to lock myself in Jon’s office. If I don’t come out, someone please take care of Therapy for me. I love you both. Tell Jon I love him too.

**Sasha Sofia James** _has knocked_

**The Distortion** _has answered the door_

**The Distortion** : Hello Sasha! How are you?

**Sasha Sofia James** : How do you know my full name?

**The Distortion** : I know many things about you, Sasha. So many, many things. But this is so formal, don’t you think?

**The Distortion** _changed_ **Sasha Sofia James** _name to_ **Sasha <3**

**Sasha <3**: Is that your real name? The Distortion?

**The Distortion** : Hm. Sasha, I’ve tried to explain it to you. I don’t have a real name. “The Distortion” is more of a title, really. 

**Sasha <3**: Is that the name you told Helen Richardson when you killed her?

**The Distortion** : You cannot see me, since we are texting, but I am rolling my eyes.

**The Distortion** : Don’t be jealous of that woman. You’re number one in my heart.

**Sasha <3**: Shut up!

**Sasha <3**: You killed someone, I don’t want to be number one in the heart you clearly don’t have.

**The Distortion** : Helen Richardson isn’t even dead yet, calm down. 

**Sasha <3**: CALM DOWN?

**Sasha <3**: YOU KILLED A WOMAN AND STABBED MY FRIEND

**Sasha <3**: YOU’RE A MONSTER

**The Distortion** : A monster? Me? What gave it away?

**Sasha <3**: FUCK YOU

**The Distortion** : ;)

**Sasha <3**: NO THAT’S DISGUSTING 

**The Distortion** : Yes, it probably would be. You’re very fleshy. We’ll just have to fix that, I guess.

**Sasha <3**: STAY AWAY FROM ME

**The Distortion** : Oh, sweet Sasha. Don’t you understand?

**The Distortion** : I gave you the choice. You could die at the Circus’ hand, or mine.

**Sasha <3**: You never said that. You said you were saving me!

**The Distortion** : No, I didn’t. You ASSUMED I was saving you. But you are mine, Sasha. You will always be mine. You’ve walked my corridors. I can always find you again.

**The Distortion** : It is not your time. But the wheels are in motion. There are forces bigger than you, bigger than your little Archive group.

**The Distortion** : One day you will belong to me.

**The Distortion** : And trust me, Sasha Sofia James, it will be a mercy.

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

**official archive whore** : sasha!

**our mum** : Sasha?

**official archive whore** : she just walked out of the office. 

**official archive whore** : sasha what happened?

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : ...

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : I...

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : Well

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : We’re fucked.


	21. *pining intensifies*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Nastya Rasputina** : YOU WERE STABBED??
> 
>  **Jonny D’Ville** : Lightly stabbed. The doctors are letting me go so I’m fine.
> 
>  **Nastya Rasputina** : jesus Jon one of these days you’re going to kill me
> 
>  **Jonny D’Ville** : And one of these days, I’m actually going to get killed.

**Jonny D’Ville** _to_ **Nastya Rasputina** , _15:36_

 **Jonny D’Ville** : You wanted me to keep you updated on the Archive things, so I should tell you

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I had a run in with Michael

 **Nastya Rasputina** : are you okay??

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Yes, I’m fine. Just lightly stabbed.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : YOU WERE STABBED??

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Lightly stabbed. The doctors are letting me go so I’m fine.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : jesus Jon one of these days you’re going to kill me

 **Jonny D’Ville** : And one of these days, I’m actually going to get killed.

**”Official” Chat For “Work”**

**a child** : We’re heading back to the Archives. I’ve emailed Elias. Everyone take the rest of the week off.

 **a child** : Sasha, how are you doing?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : you  
mean with my new death sentence? fucking fantastic.

 **official archive whore** : sasha you should sleep over at mine. just in case.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : okay, but I have to stop at my flat first

 **official archive whore** : alright. grab your stuff, we’ll head out once the others get here

 **a child** : Not to be rude/controlling, but I don’t know how necessary that will be. The way Michael talked, it seems he’s not going to take Sasha right away. 

**official archive whore** : well it makes me feel better

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : ^^^

 **a child** : I’m not saying don’t do it. In fact I think it’s a good idea.

 **a child** : I wonder if there’s someway to Michael-proof the Archives.

 **a child** : We should try and find all the statements dealing with Michael. I doubt this is his first appearance in the world, and maybe someone knows how to fight against him.

 **our mum** : We will on Monday. No more work Jon.

 **a child** : Yes, I know.

 **official archive whore** : hey maybe you two should stay together too

 **a child** : I fail to see how that would help with anything 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : he can make sure you don’t worry about this all weekend

 **a child** : I’m going to worry about it regardless.

 **our mum** : Guys just stop it’s okay.

**Jonny D’Ville** _to_ **Nastya Rasputina**

 **Jonny D’Ville** : When no one knows you’ve got feelings for one of your coworkers and so they all think the two of you should spend the night together.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : aaa do it do it do it

 **Jonny D’Ville** : No, it’s too late. He doesn’t want to anyways.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : boo

**”Official” Chat For “Work”**

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : but in other news is anyone down for drinks?

 **official archive whore** : absolutely

 **a child** : Yes.

 **our mum** : It’s three in the afternoon?

 **our mum** : And Jon I don’t think you’re supposed to drink? Because you were stabbed?

 **a child** : Yes, but consider the fact that I don’t want to take care of myself.

 **official archive whore** : haha felt

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : jON

 **our mum** : Jon please

 **a child** : Here, let’s compromise. We get drunk Friday night. Meet at, say, 7?

 **official archive whore** : do you guys remember when we had to force jon to come to things? now he’s planning them? our baby has grown up.

 **a child** : Does that mean I can change my name?

 **official archive whore** : oh absolutely not nice try tho

 **official archive whore** : and yeah I can do seven.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : ^^^

 **a child** : Martin? Is that alright with you?

 **our mum** : Yeah, fine

 **a child** : If it’s not, it’s alright. We can reschedule.

 **our mum** : No, it works.

 **our mum** : Not like I’ve got anything else going on.

 **a child** : Great! I’ll see you all there! :)

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : ooh ask Georgie to come

 **official archive whore** : yeah!

 **a child** : Okay just a second.

**Jonny D’Ville** _to_ **Nastya Rasputina** , _15:52_

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Drinks w/archive gang tomorrow at seven?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : always

 **Nastya Rasputina** : but can you ask tim and sasha not to flirt with me this time? not that they’re not very hot just things are getting Bad with melanie rn and I’m Not In The Mood(TM)

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Yes

**”Official” Chat For “Work”**

**a child** : She said yes, but she’s asking if the two of you (Sasha and Tim) can lay off the flirting a bit. She’s very flattered, and she says you’re both very attractive people, but she’s also committed to pining for someone else.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : oof I thought I was being subtle 

**official archive whore** : oof I know that feeling though 

**official archive whore** : both sasha’s and georgie’s

 **official archive whore** : yeah I’ll back off

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : ^^^

 **our mum** : You see, this is why I don’t flirt with people

 **official archive whore** : no martin you don’t flirt with people because you have anxiety

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : wow you did not need to call him out like that

 **official archive whore** : that REMINDS ME jon now that we’re friends will you tell us your sexuality?

**Jonny D’Ville** , _to_ **Nastya Rasputina**

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Fuck

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Help

 **Jonny D’Ville** : _sent a screenshot_

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Should I tell them?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : uhhhh idk

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I think it’d be okay to do it. like they wouldn’t be mean or whatever. but it’s totally up to you whether or not you actively want to.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I can tell you right now if you want any chance with Martin you’ve got to eventually let them know you like guys.

**”Official” Chat For “Work”**

**a child** : Fine.

 **a child** : I’m not a big fan of labels?

 **a child** : But if you want the official answer, I’m a transmasculine biromantic asexual

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : aaa 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : ty ty I know it’s not easy

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : <3 I totally guessed one hundred percent right though

 **a child** : If anyone was going to, it was probably you.

 **official archive whore** : !!!

 **official archive whore** : thank you this has made my day

 **official archive whore** : I am so much happier now working for someone who is not straight

 **a child** : I was never straight?

 **official archive whore** : I thought you were highkey

 **a child** : You thought wrong.

 **our mum** : Thank you for sharing that with us Jon!

**Jonny D’Ville** _to_ **Nastya Rasputina**

 **Jonny D’Ville** : _sent a screenshot_

 **Jonny D’Ville** : I have never hated Martin Blackwood more than I do in this moment.

 **Jonny D’Ville** : How dare he send something so vaguely supportive?

 **Jonny D’Ville** : How am I supposed to gauge any type of real reaction from this?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : oof man idk

 **Nastya Rasputina** : that is essentially what’s happening with melanie ngl 

**Nastya Rasputina** : I said I thought I had feelings for someone and she said “oh cool”

 **Nastya Rasputina** : and then changed the subject

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Why do we always have to fall for idiots?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : idk but it hurts

 **Jonny D’Ville** : Yes it does.

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : _sent a video_ (My longest yeah boy ever)

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : me @ Jon coming out

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : temporarily ignoring the fact that I’m going to die to celebrate the fact that I was right 

**official archive whore** : okay as I am the moderator of this chat, I say martin you’ve got two minutes to get it all out of your system go

 **our mum** : HOLY CRAP

 **our mum** : I am literally shaking right now

 **our mum** : Have you ever just like?

 **our mum** : Really really liked someone like a lot a lot

 **our mum** : And you’re certain you have no chance with them

 **our mum** : And then something like THAT happens????????

 **our mum** : oh my god oh my god

 **our mum** : I can barely breathe I’m still shaking

 **our mum** : Even if he’s not into me? Like I have a CHANCE

 **our mum** : A small chance but a chance none the less

 **our mum** : I don’t know if my heart can take this new information

 **our mum** : Thank you for asking him because god knows I never could have

 **our mum** : Which reminds me I’m mad at you guys

 **our mum** : “haha what if you two stayed together” okay not cool guys this is supposed to be a secret crush

 **our mum** : but wow wow wow

 **our mum** : Okay I think I’m done

 **official archive whore** : haha gay

 **our mum** : Shut up Tim


	22. Brand New Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Basira Hussain** : Well it’s normal in my line of work. But it shouldn’t be normal in yours.
> 
>  **it’s called privacy, sasha** : emphasis on “shouldn’t”
> 
>  **Basira Hussain** : Fair enough.

**it’s called privacy, sasha** has created a chat

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** _added_ **official archive whore** _to the chat_

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** _added_ **ghost bb** _to the chat_

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** _named the chat_ **New Operation**

_11:37_

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : so I’ve been thinking

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : every mission we’ve had so far has been successful

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : Get Jon To Be Our Friend, Get Jon To Trust Us, and we’re pretty sure Elias killed Gertrude

 **official archive whore** : you’re forgetting about operation worms

 **ghost bb** : oh god what’s operation worms

 **official archive whore** : operation don’t let the worms invade the archives. we failed that one

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : but that wasn’t in our control, so we’re good

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : that’s beside the point

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : Georgie we didn’t tell you this yet I don’t think but Michael said he was going to kill me

 **ghost bb** : Oh my god.

 **ghost bb** : Oh Sasha

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : don’t worry.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I think(?) I have a plan for that too, but Michael talked like it was going to be a ways off

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I’ve decided there are more important things to focus on than my mortality.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : if anything, I’m actually kind of lucky. I mean we all die, but now I know how. makes it a little less scary.

 **ghost bb** : still, I’m sorry

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : don’t be

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : the point is I don’t know how much time I have left in the archives

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : and there’s one more mission I’d like to accomplish

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : but it’s a big one, and I’d need your help.

 **official archive whore** : shouldn’t we add martin to the chat?

 **official archive whore** : and jon?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : no that would be a bad idea

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : because my final mission?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** _changed the chat name to_ **Operation Get Jon And Martin To Fall In Love**

 **official archive whore** : !!!!

 **official archive whore** : let’s go lesbians

 **official archive whore** : that title is way too long though we’ll need a better name

 **ghost bb** : wait does Martin fancy Jon?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : yes he does

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : it’s painful to watch honestly

 **ghost bb** : you’re joking. tell me you’re joking

 **official archive whore** : what does jon actually hate martin?

 **ghost bb** : no the opposite!!!!!!!

 **ghost bb** : Jon fancies Martin too

 **ghost bb** : every time we get together I try and figure it out but I really had no clue if Martin liked him back!!!

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : holy SHIT really???????

 **ghost bb** : YES

 **ghost bb** : but guys calm down calm down

 **ghost bb** : even if we told Jon that Martin liked him he wouldn’t believe it.

 **ghost bb** : plus he’s got himself convinced it’s morally wrong or whatever

 **ghost bb** : Martin would have to confess his feelings first

 **official archive whore** : and you couldn’t pay martin enough to confess FUCK

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : this is going to be hard, we knew that

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : but those two idiots deserve each other so

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : no giving up. we can do this.

 **ghost bb** : can I add Basira? she’s good at love missions

 **ghost bb** : she’s the one that got me and Jon together all those years ago 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : sure!

 **official archive whore** : no

 **official archive whore** : oh sure

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : why not Tim?

 **official archive whore** : she scares me

 **ghost bb** : yeah? but if she told Jon to do something he’d probably do it.

 **ghost bb** : I feel like it might actually be easier to convince Martin that Jon, just by my interactions with both of them.

 **ghost bb** : Jon is really convinced he can’t pursue a relationship with Martin because he’s his boss

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I swear Jon is the dumbest man I’ve ever met

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : bitch who’s gonna report you? we’re not going to break Martin’s heart like that?

 **official archive whore** : okay let’s bring Basira in.

 **ghost bb** _added_ **Basira Hussain** _to the chat_

 **ghost bb** : wanna help us get Jon and Martin together?

 **Basira Hussain** : Sure.

 **ghost bb** : :D

 **Basira Hussain** : Don’t all of you have work? No offense.

 **official archive whore** : even if I had work I’d still be on my phone let’s be honest

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : we’ve got today off because Jon was stabbed.

 **Basira Hussain** : Alright then.

 **Basira Hussain** : Wait.

 **Basira Hussain** : He was STABBED?

 **ghost bb** : yeah I was wondering why you were so casual about it

 **Basira Hussain** : Well it’s normal in my line of work. But it shouldn’t be normal in yours.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : emphasis on “shouldn’t”

 **Basira Hussain** : Fair enough.

 **Basira Hussain** : So what’s the plan?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : at the moment, we don’t have one.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : we’re all going out for drinks tonight, so I thought we could maybe do something then.

 **Basira Hussain** : Hm.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : oh sorry, would you like to come with us?

 **Basira Hussain** : Oh, no thanks. I’ve got stuff to do tonight.

 **Basira Hussain** : But do tell me how it goes. Jon deserves to be happy.

 **ghost bb** : yeah :)

 **official archive whore** : I have an idea!

 **official archive whore** : what if we don’t do anything at drinks?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : Tim, don’t be a contrarian 

**official archive whore** : your words can’t hurt me I don’t know what that means

 **official archive whore** : but what if instead of pushing them into something at drinks

 **official archive whore** : which they’d both see coming a mile away

 **official archive whore** : we all came late.

 **official archive whore** : give them a half an hour or so completely on their own. let THEM do all the talking. 

**Basira Hussain** : Actually, that might work.

 **official archive whore** : yessss

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : let’s do it!

 **ghost bb** : okay so should we all try to get there around 19:30? if we wait too long they might think we ditched and leave or something

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : yeah let’s shoot for then

 **Basira Hussain** : Let me know how it goes.

 **ghost bb** : we will!

 **official archive whore** : this is it gang. 

**official archive whore** : it’s gay-ass matchmaking time


	23. Abort Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **official archive whore** : we respect an arsonist
> 
>  **official archive whore** : be gay do crime

**Operation Get Jon And Martin To Fall In Love**

_11:11_

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : we fucked up we fucked up

 **Basira Hussain** : What did you do??

 **official archive whore** : apparently leaving them on their own wasn’t a good idea

 **ghost bb** : I thought things were okay? 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : so did I but we were WRONG

 **official archive whore** : do you wanna tell them or should I?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I got it

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : background information- every morning around eight thirty Jon gives us all our assignments for the day. then at around nine Martin gives us all our morning tea

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : so we come in today thinking everything’s great right?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : drinks were a success, we had fun, and jmart spent almost an HOUR together because they both came early

 **official archive whore** : on a completely different note you gotta work on your ship naming sasha that’s terrible

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : Eight thirty rolls around. Jon comes out of his office. tells me and Tim to start looking through the boxes for all the information we have on Michael, so that maybe we can stop him

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : then he gets to Martin and WITHOUT LOOKING AT HIM tossed a file on his desk and said “go”.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : then he went back in his office.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : He sent Martin TWO HOURS AWAY from us to talk to someone. didn’t even look at him

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : and then Martin says he’s going to make us all tea before he leaves. he makes the tea, and then gave me Jon’s cup and asked me to give it to him “because he clearly wants nothing to do with me” and then Martin stormed out without saying anything else

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I gave Jon the tea and he didn’t acknowledge it or any questions I asked him.

 **Basira Hussain** : No weird behavior at drinks?

 **official archive whore** : I didn’t notice anything

 **ghost bb** : looking back Jon was very clingy/hovering around me but I thought he was just drunk 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : what happened?

 **Basira Hussain** : Hell if I know.

 **Basira Hussain** : Think Martin made a move, came on too strong?

 **official archive whore** : oh there’s no way 

**official archive whore** : martin’s way too timid

 **official archive whore** : and it couldn’t have been the other way around either I don’t think

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I’ve really got no clue

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : but we went from “hey the feelings are mutual” to “hey I won’t talk to or look at you” over one weekend.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : we fucked up.

**our mum** _to_ **a child** , _11:17_

 **our mum** : I can’t take it anymore.

 **our mum** : If you want to ignore this, then fine. Not like I can force you to answer me.

 **our mum** : I mean, you’ve been ignoring my messages all weekend.

 **our mum** : But I need to know, Jon.

 **our mum** : At the bar, right before Tim got there.

 **our mum** : Were you about to kiss me?

 **a child** : Yes. Yes I was.

 **a child** : I’m sorry, Martin. But you deserve the truth.

 **our mum** : Jon I’m not mad at you

 **a child** : No, listen

 **a child** : I was going to kiss you. But it was a mistake. I can’t be with you.

 **our mum** : Why not? 

**our mum** : Jon I want to be with you.

 **a child** : Well, that sucks for you then.

 **a child** : We can’t be together.

 **our mum** : Why not??

 **a child** : Because you’re good, Martin. You’re too good.

 **a child** : I feel like a bug. Like a moth.

 **a child** : And I know if I get too close to your light, I’ll burn up and die.

 **a child** : But I have more self control than a moth.

 **a child** : I won’t go into the light. No matter how beautiful.

 **a child** : I’m sorry.

**”Official” Chat For “Work”** 11:28

 **official archive whore** : rlly hot statement giver headed your way jon

 **a child** : If the “statement giver” is you with some joke about something, you’re fired.

 **official archive whore** : woah boss calm down

 **official archive whore** : it is a completely separate human. she says she read about this place on a message board?

 **a child** : A message board?

 **a child** : Oh! Send her in please.

_12:56_

**official archive whore** : the statement giver actually left the office this time guys I call that an unqualified success

 **a child** : And I think I have an actual success

 **a child** : I found a computer recently that I believed belonged to Gertrude. Ms. Winters was able to help me get into it. 

**a child** : We’ve got another piece of the puzzle

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : !!!

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : hell yeah 

**a child** : She doesn’t seem to have much on here, actually.

 **a child** : She’s got a spreadsheet that seems to show that she spent a lot of time traveling.

 **a child** : She also appears to have been grbookworm1818, a Ebay user from a statement. She was buying Leitners.

 **a child** : She also bought a lot of lighter fluid? 

**official archive whore** : we respect an arsonist

 **official archive whore** : be gay do crime

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : hah Gertrude was NOT gay

 **official archive whore** : :( really?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : I actually think she might have been a little homophobic, like in the way most old people are?

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : but all the people she worked closely with were gay so there’s that

 **official archive whore** : thought she was alone? who did she work closely with? 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : well, me for a short while. when Gerry met me and got me out of artifact storage I worked in the archives. Gerry himself was also bi. and she had this contact called Dekker who was older than she was and very gay. 

**our mum** : So, unfortunately, we didn’t invent the gay-chives?

 **official archive whore** : martin! you’re alive!

 **our mum** : Yeah I’m fine. On my way back now actually.

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : no, I guess we didn’t invent that

 **our mum** : Shame. That was my one life accomplishment.

 **a child** : Martin how long will it take you to get back?

 **our mum** : About twenty minutes, why?

 **a child** : There was one last thing on the laptop.

 **a child** : An untitled document, with three words.

 **a child** : “Bottom top right”

 **a child** : Or, the bottom of the top right drawer in her desk. The one that became my desk.

 **a child** : She’d left a tape in there, for the next Archivist.

 **a child** : And I really think you should hear this.

_13:27_

**official archive whore** : fuck

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : ^^^

 **our mum** : ^^^

 **a child** : Great to know I’ve got such good friends who I know I can count on to make jokes when I find out I’m literally being USED BY ELDRITCH GODS FOR A RITUAL TO END THE WORLD thank you all

 **a child** _has left the chat_

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** _added_ **a child** _to the chat_

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : Jon we can’t do this again!

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : it wasn’t meant to be a joke I am literally too overwhelmed to say much of anything

 **it’s called privacy, sasha** : if what Gertrude said is true, you’re part of some ritual to end the world and elias is actually jonah magnus and I assume the jurgen she’s talking to at the end is jurgen leitner which means jurgen leitner was/is in the tunnels and there are going to be threats to your life and our lives and I bet Michael is tied to one of those other powers and all I could think about was how glad I was to not have been the Archivist and then I felt horrible for thinking that 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : so yeah, the only cohesive thought I can come up with is “fuck” 

**it’s called privacy, sasha** : please don’t shut us out Jon

 **a child** : We shouldn’t have this conversation here. Elias/Jonah Magnus could be watching.

 **a child** : Gertrude implied that he can’t see us in the tunnels. Let’s go.


	24. Out Of Your Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I literally cannot find a funny line from this chapter to put here, so here’s the vine Tim references in case you don’t know it.
> 
> https://youtu.be/Z7nhb_NGU10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: mentions of death, mentions of police brutality

**Basira Hussain** _to_ **Jonathan Sims** , _19:27_

**Basira Hussain** : Hey 

**Jonathan Sims** : Hello

**Basira Hussain** : Have you by chance seen the name Maxwell Rayner in any of your statements?

**Jonathan Sims** : A few times, yes!

**Basira Hussain** : What can you tell me about him?

**Jonathan Sims** : It’s information from statements so legally, nothing.

**Basira Hussain** : We’re about to go try and arrest him.

**Basira Hussain** : I am invoking my power as a cop to say you can have a little crime, as a treat.

**Jonathan Sims** : Don’t really think I deserve any sort of “treat”, but...

**Jonathan Sims** : I don’t actually know much about him. He does seem to be tied to the dark/darkness, in a supernatural way.

**Jonathan Sims** : He also seemed to be somehow connected with Robert Montauk’s killings and his death.

**Basira Hussain** : Thanks, this is really helpful. Anything else?

**Jonathan Sims** : Just one more thing.

**Jonathan Sims** : Be careful, Basira.

**Basira Hussain** : Of course, Jon.

**Jonathan Sims** : :)

**Basira Hussain** : :)

**”Official” Chat For “Work”**

**official archive whore** : I’ve just had an epiphany 

**official archive whore** _changed the chat name to_ **Out Of Your Friends, Which Are You?**

**official archive whore** _changed_ **our mum** _name to_ **truck freak**

**official archive whore** _changed their name to_ **crazy ass**

**crazy ass** _changed_ **a child** _name to_ **друг**

**crazy ass** _changed_ **it’s called privacy, sasha** _name to_ **the fighter**

**crazy ass** : do I need to explain my reasoning?

**друг** : So I should have gotten mad at TIM for making jokes, thanks for that clarification.

**crazy ass** : it’s not a joke jon it’s an epiphany 

**друг** : I’m impressed you know what epiphany means

**truck freak** : Wow you really did him like that

**the fighter** : these are pretty accurate though?

**друг** : We are in the middle of a crisis

**truck freak** : Yeah guys can we keep it serious?

**crazy ass** : if you make me take this seriously I will literally loose my mind

**the fighter** : there is so much shit to unpack with all of this I don’t think I could handle taking it seriously

**друг** : Fine.

**truck freak** : Actually Tim can you explain your reasoning for these?

**crazy ass** : martin I would be HONORED

**crazy ass** : so sasha is the fighter because she has knives

**crazy ass** : jon is that one (which I can’t pronounce so my mind just makes the noise made in the video) because he’s a cryptid apparently 

**crazy ass** : and honestly I just felt like martin was more truck freak than crazy ass so I did that

**друг** : Speaking of my apparent cryptid-ness.

**друг** : First of all, we can’t tell anyone what we know. Not even Georgie or Basira.

**друг** : It’s not a matter of not trusting them. It’s just that they’re not tied to the Institute, and therefore couldn’t possibly be tied to one of these entities. I don’t want to put them in danger.

**друг** : I almost feel like you all knowing puts you in danger, but not being able to quit the Institute probably means you’re all already bound to this Eye thing.

**друг** : Plus, the fewer people that know, the less likely Elias can figure it out.

**друг** : Secondly, in regards to Elias. Or, as it were, Jonah Magnus.

**друг** : Gertrude said that organizing the Archives might make it easier for whatever ritual he’s planning. But the longer he doesn’t know we know, the better. We’ll continue to organize, at least for now.

**друг** : Finally, I think our next plan of action needs to be to find out more about these entities. Who are they, what can they do, how do we stop them, that sort of thing.

**crazy ass** : what about michael??

**друг** : Christ, I almost forgot about him.

**друг** : Of course we’ll look more into Michael, and we should finish that first. Sasha, I’m sorry. With all the new information, your situation slipped my mind. 

**the fighter** : Jon, it’s okay!

**the fighter** : to be honest, I almost forgot about that too.

**the fighter** : but I think we need to find out what these entities are first. if the entities control all the supernatural events, Michael must be part of one of them. if we figure out which one, maybe we’ll learn how to stop him

**друг** : That’s a good idea, Sasha 

**друг** : We’ve got to find someone who might know about the entities.

**друг** : Sasha you said there were a few other people Gertrude worked with. Could we maybe reach out to them?

**the fighter** : unfortunately no we can’t.

**the fighter** : Dekker died in some accident a few years ago, and Gerry died of brain cancer a few months before Gertrude.

**crazy ass** : there’s one more person gertrude worked with

**друг** : No. Absolutely not.

**crazy ass** : look, I don’t want to trust jurgen leitner. I don’t even want to meet the guy. but we need information. and gertrude seemed to trust him.

**друг** : I’ve explored those tunnels twice, and I’ve seen no sign of anyone living down there.

**crazy ass** : he probably didn’t want to be found

**друг** : We can try. But we’ve got no guarantees that he’s still alive.

**друг** : We can look tomorrow. Tonight, everyone get some rest. It’s been a long day.

**truck freak** : Can we all just agree on something?

**truck freak** : If Gertrude said we can’t trust Elias

**truck freak** : We know who killed her, don’t we?

**друг** : Yes, I suppose we do.

**друг** : The only question is why.

**Basira Hussain** _to_ **Jonathan Sims** , _23:17_

**Basira Hussain** : Are you still awake?

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes.

**Jonathan Sims** : Did you catch Rayner?

**Basira Hussain** : Okay.

**Basira Hussain** : Thank you for the tip on Rayner, with the darkness. Even though the torches did very little, at least we had them.

**Basira Hussain** : Rayner is dead.

**Basira Hussain** : And this is it.

**Basira Hussain** : I’m done.

**Basira Hussain** : I’m quitting the police force. I can’t do this anymore.

**Jonathan Sims** : What? Why?

**Basira Hussain** : I just...

**Basira Hussain** : There’s power. Power I don’t understand. It was there at the docks, with Rayner. And there’s a power here too, the one the public calls “police brutality”. In reality, it’s much worse than one or two guys with a god complex. There’s something deeper here, a force that pulls you in, tells you the violence is justified.

**Basira Hussain** : When I don’t understand something, I try to figure it out. If I can’t, I walk away.

**Basira Hussain** : One of our men died. He had a pregnant wife and two kids under five. The official story is that he “made a critical error”. They’re pinning all the blame on him.

**Basira Hussain** : So I’m getting out before the day when the blame falls on me.

**Basira Hussain** : Daisy’s gonna be upset, but it’s fine. I’ll manage.

**Jonathan Sims** : What about Gertrude’s tapes? 

**Jonathan Sims** : Basira?

**Jonathan Sims** : Fine, forget the tapes. Just let me know you’re alright. 

**Basira Hussain** : Hah.

**Basira Hussain** : I haven’t been alright in years.


	25. Dasira Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Police brutality
> 
> In case it wasn’t clear, ACAB. 
> 
> I have such complicated feelings about Daisy? But for the purpose of this “feel good” fic, remember that the police system is designed to cause violence, and that for the purpose of this “feel good” fic Basira and Daisy are the problem as much as they are victims of the problem. I also shipped Dasira before I shipped JonMartin (because I was only half listening and heard Basira say “my partner alice tonner” and assumed they were married), so keep that in mind.
> 
> TLDR: ACAB but Basira can stay (and Daisy my love you are on thin fucking ice you better get your ass into the nearest coffin before I throw you in there)

**Daisy 🌼** _to_ **Basira 🏵** , _8:32_

**Daisy 🌼** : Hey Basira!

**Daisy 🌼** : Do you know the one thing worse than finding out your partner quitting the force?

**Daisy 🌼** : Finding out your partner quit the force not from your fucking partner, but from FUCKING DAVIDSON OF ALL PEOPLE!

_10:56_

**Basira 🏵** : I’m sorry, Daisy.

**Daisy 🌼** : Oh, she speaks!

**Daisy 🌼** : Sleeping in, are we? Having a nice fucking holiday?

**Basira 🏵** : I wanted to tell you last night.

**Daisy 🌼** : And why didn’t you?

**Basira 🏵** : Because I knew you’d react like this. After Rayner, I couldn’t do this last night.

**Daisy 🌼** : Well then, is now more convenient for you?

**Basira 🏵** : Daisy, please

**Daisy 🌼** : “Please” what?

**Daisy 🌼** : Please calm down?

**Daisy 🌼** : Please be nicer to you?

**Daisy 🌼** : You left me, Basira. Without telling me you were leaving. Without saying goodbye.

**Basira 🏵** : Just because I left the force doesn’t mean I’m never going to see you again Daisy!

**Basira 🏵** : You’re still my friend, I still want to see you.

**Basira 🏵** : But I can’t do it any more

**Basira 🏵** : I knew if I didn’t quit last night, I’d talk myself out of it again. Or, you would.

**Daisy 🌼** : Do WHAT anymore??

**Basira 🏵** : You know what, Daisy.

**Daisy 🌼** : No, I don’t.

**Basira 🏵** : The senseless violence. Murdering people and calling it justice. I thought fighting the real monsters would make it better, but it didn’t. 

**Basira 🏵** : The police is a trap designed to make innocent people the victims.

**Basira 🏵** : You of all people can’t pretend you don’t see it.

**Daisy 🌼** : So what, you got squeamish and chickened out?

**Basira 🏵** : Actually, yeah that’s exactly what happened.

**Basira 🏵** : I’m not ashamed of my actions.

**Basira 🏵** : And I’ve got enough blood money in severance to last me a while, long enough to find something else.

**Basira 🏵** : Daisy, come with me. We can quit, we can leave. We don’t have to do this anymore, we can just leave!

**Daisy 🌼** : Hah. That’s ironic.

**Daisy 🌼** : Who are you kidding, Basira?

**Daisy 🌼** : You know I can’t leave, not now. Not ever.

**Daisy 🌼** : I’m a killer, Basira. Killing monsters is all I’m good at.

**Daisy 🌼** : It’s either work for the police, or rot in prison.

**Daisy 🌼** : You have a choice, I don’t.

**Daisy 🌼** : You were sectioned, they might let you back if you asked.

**Daisy 🌼** : Stay here. Don’t leave me. Please.

**Basira 🏵** : I... I can’t do that.

**Daisy 🌼** : Fine.

**Basira 🏵** : It’s nothing against you Daisy

**Daisy 🌼** : Yeah, I know.

**Basira 🏵** : You’re not a killer 

**Daisy 🌼** : Nice try.

**Daisy 🌼** : So what’s next for you?

**Basira 🏵** : Are you really going to change the subject?

**Daisy 🌼** : Basira I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

**Basira 🏵** : Fine.

**Basira 🏵** : Honestly, I don’t know. There’s not much else I know how to do.

**Daisy 🌼** : Maybe you could do some PI stuff

**Basira 🏵** : I’d rather go back to the police

**Daisy 🌼** : That’s fair.

**Daisy 🌼** : Too bad you can’t get paid for like, reading books or something.

**Basira 🏵** : That’d be the dream. Just pay me to read all day.

**Daisy 🌼** : While you’re on a roll of stupid decisions, you could try to pursue a music career.

**Basira 🏵** : You think you’re funny, don’t you?

**Daisy 🌼** : No, I *know* I’m funny.

**Daisy 🌼** : Basira The Traveling Bass Player

**Basira 🏵** : I’m glad you’ve at least moved on

**Daisy 🌼** : Only for now, Basira.

**Daisy 🌼** : I have to go now because some of us have real jobs.

**Basira 🏵** : I can’t believe you :(

**Daisy 🌼** : See you, Hussain

**Basira 🏵** : See you

_Message Not Sent_  
**Daisy 🌼** : I miss you. I love you.

_Message Not Sent_   
**Basira 🏵** : Miss you already. I love you. 


	26. [Extended Sounds Of Brutal Pipe Murder]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **crazy ass** : tunnel time tunnel time
> 
>  **the fighter** : tunnel tiME TUNNEL TIME
> 
>  **crazy ass** : TUNNEL TIME TUNNEL TIME
> 
>  **truck freak** : Alright, we get it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Canon character death, presumed character deaths, canon-typical Jon guilt, references to smoking

**all these ghosts** _to_ **still can’t find a boo** , _19:03_

 **all these ghosts** : do you want to come over?

 **still can’t find a boo** : Can we talk first?

 **all these ghosts** : yeah sure? what about?

 **still can’t find a boo** : What about? Melanie we haven’t talked in almost a week and the first thing you do is ask me to come over

 **all these ghosts** : we don’t have to have sex georgie I just miss you!

 **all these ghosts** : we haven’t talked all week!

 **all these ghosts** : I’ve been trying save my show and find war ghosts and do research but avoid the archives 

**all these ghosts** : I just want to spend time with you 

**still can’t find a boo** : I’m sorry, I misunderstood 

**all these ghosts** : I don’t just keep you around for sex 

**all these ghosts** : you’re my best friend georgie

 **all these ghosts** : my only friend at the moment

 **still can’t find a boo** : I’m sorry Mel

 **still can’t find a boo** : I’ll come over.

 **all these ghosts** : no I’m sorry

 **all these ghosts** : just been a long day

 **all these ghosts** : *week

 **all these ghosts** : *month

 **all these ghosts** : *year

 **all these ghosts** : *lifetime

 **still can’t find a boo** : oh honey 

**still can’t find a boo** : be there in ten

 **all these ghosts** : everyone left me georgie

 **all these ghosts** : everything’s gone to hell

 **all these ghosts** : I also just got an email from the head of the magnus institute offering me a job so my life has hit a new low.

 **still can’t find a boo** : you got a WHAT?

 **still can’t find a boo** : why??

 **all these ghosts** : I’ve been using their library a lot recently, I guess he noticed

 **all these ghosts** : don’t worry, I’m not that desperate

 **still can’t find a boo** : Jon thinks the head of the institute is a murderer 

**all these ghosts** : well, he is a capitalist

 **still can’t find a boo** : I’m here let me in please 

**Out Of Your Friends, Which Are You?**

_19:03_

**crazy ass** : tunnel time tunnel time

 **the fighter** : tunnel time tunnel time

 **crazy ass** : tunnel time tunnel time

 **the fighter** : tunnel tiME TUNNEL TIME

 **crazy ass** : TUNNEL TIME TUNNEL TIME

 **truck freak** : Alright, we get it! We’re going into the tunnels! No need to keep talking about it!

 **crazy ass** : aww martin are you scared?

 **truck freak** : The first time I was in the tunnels I got separated from the group and found a dead body

 **truck freak** : So yeah, I’m a little scared.

 **the fighter** : It’ll be alright, Martin. This time, we’ve got a plan.

 **truck freak** : Sure, but that doesn’t mean that the plan will work!

 **друг** : Martin, breathe. Overthinking things won’t help. Trust me, I’ve spent the last twenty four hours thinking about everything that could go wrong while looking for Leitner.

 **друг** : My personal favorite bad possibility is that the “Jurgen” Gertrude was talking to isn’t Jurgen Leitner.

 **truck freak** : Christ I didn’t even think about that.

 **truck freak** : Well this is just fantastic, isn’t it?

 **друг** : ^^^

_20:43_

**друг** : ARE ALL OF YOU ALRIGHT?

 **the fighter** : we’re fine! a little shaken up but fine.

 **truck freak** : Are you okay??

 **друг** : I’m fine.

 **друг** : So much for ‘sticking together’.

 **crazy ass** : what even happened?

 **друг** : I think part of the tunnel collapsed. The three of you on one side, and me on the other.

 **truck freak** : What are we going to do?

 **друг** : As much as I’d love to say continue...

 **друг** : We should go back. The three of you turn and head back into the Institute. I’ll find another way out.

 **crazy ass** : are you sure jon?

 **друг** : If we’re not together, we shouldn’t continue. We’ll find Leitner another day.

_21:23_

**truck freak** : JON

 **truck freak** : JON HELP

 **друг** : What’s wrong?

 **truck freak** : Michael’s here!

 **друг** : Oh god, run.

 **truck freak** : It’s too late Jon

 **truck freak** : We got lost, couldn’t find the Archives

 **truck freak** : Michael showed up, said he could show us the way back

 **truck freak** : Sasha told him where he should stick his door, and he just rolled his eyes

 **truck freak** : He just grabbed her and pulled her in

 **truck freak** : Tim grabbed her, tried to stop them, and he got pulled through too.

 **truck freak** : Michael slammed the door shut. I tried to open the door but it wouldn’t budge.

 **truck freak** : Michael opened the door and stuck his head out. He said something about not wanting spiders in his tunnels, and he made the door disappear

 **truck freak** : They’re gone Jon they’re gone and it’s my fault

 **друг** : Martin, breathe. It’s not your fault. You need to stay calm, or this place will mess with you more. 

**друг** : It’s not your fault, if anything it’s mine. I brought you guys down here. 

**truck freak** : It’s NOT your fault Jon.

 **друг** : We just need to find our way out of the tunnels. We can figure things out once we get out of the tunnels.

 **truck freak** : Huh.

 **друг** : What?

 **truck freak** : No, no I’m sorry it’s nothing and it’s really not the time for this

 **truck freak** : This is just the most we’ve talked in three days.

 **друг** : Just find a way out Martin.

_22:01 ___

__**truck freak** : I’m back in the Archives. No sign of Tim and Sasha, but no sign of Elias either._ _

__**друг** : Martin, maybe you should go home._ _

__**truck freak** : I’m not leaving until you get out._ _

__**друг** : I don’t know when I’ll get out, or if I’ll be anywhere near the Institute._ _

__**друг** : Please Martin, for me. Go home._ _

__**truck freak** : Okay. Please be safe. And let me know when you get out and if you need me._ _

__**друг** : Of course._ _

__

___22:27_ _ _

__**друг** : Fuck._ _

__**truck freak** : Jon? Are you okay?_ _

__**друг** : I found Jurgen fucking Leitner._ _

__**truck freak** : Well... fuck._ _

__

___22:42_ _ _

__**друг** : I’m going to make a transcript of everything Leitner says, so that I have it in writing as well as on tape. We got back to the Institute._ _

__**truck freak** : Do you want me to come back??_ _

__**друг** : No, it’s better if you don’t._ _

__**друг** : But thank you Martin._ _

__**друг** : I will say I found a pipe in the tunnels to use as a weapon but it’s a little too heavy to be useful._ _

__**truck freak** : Haha, be careful then._ _

__**друг** : I will._ _

__**друг** : 1) Leitner has a book that can manipulate the tunnels. It’s how we got out. He’s also got one that can make him invisible._ _

__**друг** : 2) He’s been living in the tunnels since his library collapsed. He’s scared to leave them now that Gertrude is dead. He has a tendency to get attacked when’s he’s outside, by monsters and people alike._ _

__**друг** : 3) He’s a rich shithead who liked creepypasta and wanted the real life version. Thought he could control the books, failed._ _

__**друг** : 4) He believes the books are part of the entities, different manifestations of the same things._ _

__**друг** : 5) Michael is indeed part of an entity. Leitner called that one The Spiral, and it works by making you question your own sanity._ _

__**друг** : 6) He believes Elias killed Gertrude because she planned to destroy the Archives._ _

__**друг** : 7) He confirmed what Gertrude said about the Institute being tied to The Eye, about me being tied to it as well, and that Elias is Jonah Magnus and planning a ritual with me._ _

__**друг** : 8) As the Archivist, I have certain powers given to me by The Eye. I can make people answer questions I ask them, even without meaning too. That’s why the statements are all so cohesive, too. The Eye helps them get the words out._ _

__**друг** : I need a cigarette._ _

__**truck freak** : Jon, you shouldn’t smoke._ _

__**друг** : And I shouldn’t be able to make people magically tell me things, but apparently I do that too._ _

__**друг** : Think, Martin. Any time you told me something, and then wondered WHY you just told me that? I’ve been compelling all of you, everyone I meet, without even knowing it._ _

__**друг** : If Michael’s a monster because of these entities, then so am I._ _

__**truck freak** : Jon, you are *not* a monster. You didn’t know you had powers. It’s not like you did it on purpose. And unlike Michael, you don’t kill people. _ _

__

___23:00_ _ _

__**truck freak** : Jon? Are you okay?_ _

__

___23:05_ _ _

__**truck freak** : Jon??_ _

__

___23:13_ _ _

__**truck freak** : Maybe I’m overreacting but I’m just kind of freaking out because there’s some serious stuff going on please say something so I don’t panic_ _

__

___23:20_ _ _

__**truck freak** : If you don’t say anything in the next ten minutes, I’m coming back to the Institute._ _

__

___23:34_ _ _

__**truck freak** : On my way back._ _

__

___23:47_ _ _

__**truck freak** : Oh._ _

__**truck freak** : Oh Jon._ _

__**truck freak** : What have you done?_ _


	27. Full Operational Discretion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Martin Blackwood** : Someone smashed his head in with a pipe.
> 
>  **Basira Hussain** : What is this, Clue?
> 
>  **Martin Blackwood** : Basira this is serious a man was killed 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Police brutality, reference to canon character death, reference to presumed character deaths, canon-typical Martin guilt

**Martin Blackwood** _to_ **Basira Hussain** , _9:34_

 **Martin Blackwood** : This is Basira, right?

 **Basira Hussain** : Yes, what do you need?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Um, I’m not sure actually?

 **Martin Blackwood** : I thought you would have come last night though.

 **Basira Hussain** : Whatever you all did last night, I was not invited.

 **Martin Blackwood** : What? No!

 **Martin Blackwood** : To the crime scene!

 **Martin Blackwood** : I thought only sectioned officers came when something happened at the Institute.

 **Basira Hussain** : I’m not part of the force anymore. I quit. What happened at the Institute?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Oh, I guess that explains it.

 **Martin Blackwood** : And someone murdered Jurgen Leitner.

 **Basira Hussain** : Who’s Jurgen Leitner?

 **Basira Hussain** : Wait, doesn’t he do the books? “From The Library of Jurgen Leitner”?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Yeah, him!

 **Martin Blackwood** : Someone smashed his head in with a pipe.

 **Basira Hussain** : What is this, Clue?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Basira this is serious a man was killed 

**Basira Hussain** : Sorry, guess I’m desensitized to it. Are all of you Archive people alright?

 **Martin Blackwood** : No, not at all

 **Martin Blackwood** : Tim and Sasha got eaten by Michael, and the detective is trying to pin it on Jon but Jon’s missing and I don’t know where he is

 **Basira Hussain** : Shit.

 **Basira Hussain** : You’re the only one left, then?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Don’t say it like that!

 **Basira Hussain** : Martin, calm down.

 **Martin Blackwood** : All my friends are dead and I’ve had no sleep in the last 24 hours please don’t tell me to calm down

 **Basira Hussain** : What do you need from me?

 **Martin Blackwood** : I don’t know.

 **Martin Blackwood** : I thought you were still a police officer.

 **Martin Blackwood** : And Georgie’s not answering her phone so I don’t really have anyone to tell

 **Basira Hussain** : Who was the detective assigned to the case?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Detective Tonner?

 **Basira Hussain** : Martin, can you give me a moment?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Yes, of course.

**Basira 🏵** _to_ **Daisy 🌼** , _9:49_

 **Basira 🏵** : Hey

 **Daisy 🌼** : Hey

 **Basira 🏵** : Do anything interesting last night?

 **Daisy 🌼** : No.

 **Daisy 🌼** : What “interesting” thing am I supposed to do on a Wednesday night?

 **Basira 🏵** : _sent a screenshot_

 **Basira 🏵** : Try again.

 **Daisy 🌼** : Oh, that. You can’t get mad at me for working “your” case after you quit, Basira.

 **Basira 🏵** : I’m just wondering why you’d lie about it.

 **Daisy 🌼** : It’s a SECTIONED POLICE INVESTIGATION. It’s not supposed to be public knowledge. 

**Basira 🏵** : Since when have you cared about that?

 **Daisy 🌼** : Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve got to get back into the habit of following the rules. You see, my partner used to do that.

 **Basira 🏵** : How long are you going to be passive aggressive about this?

 **Daisy 🌼** : You let a murderer walk free, and now he’s killed another person. I think I get to be a little passive aggressive.

 **Basira 🏵** : Jon’s not a killer.

 **Daisy 🌼** : Last one to see the guy alive. Guy was killed in his office. Suspect in a previous murder that also involved these Archives.

 **Daisy 🌼** : Not to mention the fact that he left his phone in the office sitting in the guys blood.

 **Basira 🏵** : What about Elias Bouchard? He was my number one suspect for the Robinson murder before the station decided it wasn’t important enough to spend time on.

 **Basira 🏵** : Daisy?

 **Basira 🏵** : Say something. Anything.

**Basira Hussain** _to_ **Martin Blackwood** , _9:56_

 **Basira Hussain** : Martin I have a very specific question. It’s important.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Okay, ask away.

 **Basira Hussain** : When you were talking to Daisy, did she say anything about the case? Especially about the fact that you were the only witness? 

**Martin Blackwood** : I mean, not really? She threatened to arrest me but she seemed pretty convinced that it was Jon. 

**Martin Blackwood** : Oh, and she also said something about not having help on the case. Something about going about it the fast way?

 **Basira Hussain** : This is very important, Martin.

 **Basira Hussain** : Did she perhaps use the phrase “full operational discretion”?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Actually, yeah, she did.

 **Basira Hussain** : Do you have any idea where Jon is? Any at all?

 **Martin Blackwood** : No, I don’t!

 **Basira Hussain** : No clue? Even if I didn’t tell Daisy?

 **Martin Blackwood** : No! If I knew, I would have said something! He stopped responding to my messages so I went back to the Institute and he was gone and Leitner was dead!

 **Basira Hussain** : Okay, Martin, okay.

 **Basira Hussain** : If that changes, if you find anything out, tell me. We need to find him before Daisy does.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Why? I mean obviously he’s wanted for murder, but it’s not like she’s going to kill him or anything.

 **Basira Hussain** : Would you wager Jon’s life’s on that?

 **Martin Blackwood** : I thought the police were supposed to help us!

 **Basira Hussain** : You and every other white man on this planet. Check your privilege Martin.

 **Martin Blackwood** : I’m sorry 

**Basira Hussain** : Just... if you find out anything, please tell me.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Of course.


	28. Are They Still Love Letters If You’re Wanted For Murder?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor MAG 180 Spoiler: jon really do be that gay who walks rlly fast

**ghost bb** _to_ **martin doesnt want to lead the archives**

 **ghost bb** : hey honey how are you doing?

 **martin doesnt want to lead the archives** : Fine.

 **ghost bb** : Martin.

 **martin doesnt want to lead the archives** : Not great? But it’s fine.

 **martin doesnt want to lead the archives** : Are we still on for movie night?

 **ghost bb** : Yeah, if you want to!

 **martin doesnt want to lead the archives** : Christ Georgie you can’t say it like that

 **ghost bb** : Sorry love. I’d like to do movie night.

 **martin doesnt want to lead the archives** : Good.

 **martin doesnt want to lead the archives** : Shit I just got a message from Tim!

 **ghost bb** : Really?? Tell me what happens!

**Out of Your Friends, Which Are You?**

**crazy ass** : *looks at crime tape all over empty archives*

 **crazy ass** : *looks at the messages from a week ago that just came through*

 **crazy ass** : *looks at sasha* what the fuck happened

 **crazy ass** : are you guys okay?

 **the fighter** : Martin? Jon?

 **truck freak** : HOLY SHIT

 **truck freak** : YOURE ALIVE!!!!

 **the fighter** : yeah we’re fine!! we just followed the arrows out of the tunnels just like last time, honestly thought we were in there for a few hours at most.

 **the fighter** : what happened in the Archives??

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

**truck freak** : It’s probably not the best to spam Jon’s phone, since it’s in police custody at the moment

 **truck freak** : Jon’s wanted for Jurgen Leitner’s murder. He’s hiding somewhere, I haven’t heard anything from him in a week, and we have to find him before Daisy Tonner does because she’s probably going to kill him.

 **the fighter** : Holy shit.

 **truck freak** : But you guys are alright??

 **the fighter** : yeah we’re fine 

**the fighter** : let’s meet somewhere to talk

 **crazy ass** : what about that little american cafe like a block from the institute?

 **truck freak** : I’ll be there in about ten minutes

 **the fighter** : 👍

**martin doesnt want to lead the archives** _to_ **ghost bb**

 **martin doesnt want to lead the archives** : Tim and Sasha are back. We’re meeting at a cafe near the Institute. Wanna come?

 **ghost bb** : yes text me the location

**crazy ass** _to_ **truck freak**

 **crazy ass** : martin we need to talk

 **truck freak** : I know, I’m on my way

 **crazy ass** : no, just me and you

 **crazy ass** : it’s about sasha and the tunnels

 **truck freak** : ...Okay?

 **crazy ass** : you know how she’s like “yeah we followed the arrows out”?

 **crazy ass** : there were no arrows. 

**truck freak** : What do you mean?

 **crazy ass** : I mean there weren’t any arrows carved on the walls!

 **crazy ass** : I pretended I could see them, mostly at the beginning because I asked her three times already and she was getting upset

 **crazy ass** : I let sasha drag me through the corridors because I couldn’t see the arrows but she still led us out

 **crazy ass** : it just makes me think

 **crazy ass** : michael said he would take sasha to be his

 **crazy ass** : what if she’s supposed to be in those tunnels?

 **truck freak** : I don’t know.

 **truck freak** : Why are you telling me this?

 **crazy ass** : because it’s sasha!!

 **crazy ass** : I can’t loose her martin

 **crazy ass** : obviously I can’t loose you either and jon being gone... idk if that’s really set in quite yet

 **truck freak** : But Sasha is different.

 **crazy ass** : yeah

 **truck freak** : I get it.

 **crazy ass** : if jon were here I’d tell him bc he’s mr. spooky archivist guy 

**crazy ass** : but

 **crazy ass** : we’ll talk more once you get here 

**truck freak** : Yeah, we will.

**ghost bb** _has created a chat_

 **ghost bb** _added_ **all these ghosts** _to the chat_

 **ghost bb** _added_ **truck freak** _to the chat_

 **ghost bb** _added_ **crazy ass** _to the chat_

**ghost bb** _added_ **the fighter** _to the chat_

 **ghost bb** _renamed the chat_ **Creative Name For Archive Gang**

 **ghost bb** : First of all what is going on with you guys chat names?

 **ghost bb** : Second, this is Melanie, she’s going to be working in the Archives! She came to give a statement once, but idk if you guys remember her.

 **all these ghosts** : hello bitches

 **crazy ass** : no. no. hell no.

 **crazy ass** : tell us you’re joking. please say you’re joking.

 **all these ghosts** : wow idk who you are so how have I pissed you off already?

 **crazy ass** _changed their name to_ **this is tim**

 **the fighter** _changed their name to_ **probably sasha**

 **probably sasha** : Melanie King??

 **all these ghosts** _changed their name to_ **melanie king??**

 **melanie king??** : the very same

 **probably sasha** : oh my GOD

 **probably sasha** : have you signed the contract already?????

 **melanie king??** : yeah, I signed it about an hour ago

 **probably sasha** : oh god Melanie I’m so sorry

 **melanie king??** : I say this knowing your boss is wanted for murder at the moment but honestly? guys it can’t be that bad

 **this is tim** : it’s that bad

 **probably sasha** : there are some things there’s no way you could have known about the Institute

 **probably sasha** : 1) There’s an evil fear god called the Eye or the Beholding that rules the Institute

 **probably sasha** : 2) Jon is being used for some sort of grand ritual to bring about the end of the world, but we don’t know how he’s being used or what the ritual is

 **probably sasha** : 3) Now that you’re part of the Archives, there are powers that will be hunting you simply because you work with Jon

 **probably sasha** : 4) Oh, and you can’t quit. Physically can’t.

 **ghost bb** : uhhh

 **ghost bb** : why didn’t you guys tell me any of this?

 **this is tim** : jon asked us not to bc you weren’t involved with the entities so you didn’t need to know about them

 **ghost bb** : bullshit!!

 **melanie king??** : this has got to be some stupid ass prank right

 **melanie king??** : I’ve got no tolerance for that kind of thing though

 **ghost bb** : no, they’re telling the truth

 **ghost bb** : at least I assume they are

 **ghost bb** : it explains some of the things in Jon’s letter

 **truck freak** _changed their name to_ **Martin Blackwood**

 **Martin Blackwood** : Jon wrote you a letter??

 **ghost bb** : Not exactly? 

**ghost bb** : I think he came to my house that night, but I wasn’t home. It was slipped under my door.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Why didn’t you say anything before now? It’s been almost a week!

 **ghost bb** : because it didn’t make any sense, so I didn’t think it was actually from Jon!

 **melanie king??** : so in summary, I’m fucked???

 **this is tim** : yeah haha you get used to it though

**ghost bb** _to_ **martin doesnt want to lead the archives**

 **ghost bb** : At first, I didn’t think the letter from Jon was real.

 **ghost bb** : But I was going to tell you about it today (then got distracted with tim and sasha coming back and melanie taking the job)

 **ghost bb** : I was going to tell you today because while I was at the cafe, Jon must have come back.

 **ghost bb** : He left a letter here for you.


	29. Jonny’s Two Hour Christmas Special (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **this is tim** : I’ll be there w/ pizza rolls
> 
>  **probably sasha** : ...pizza rolls?
> 
>  **this is tim** : you’ve got your Christmas traditions and I have mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mentions of eating disorders, mentions of gender dysphoria, mentions of police brutality

**probably sasha** _has created a group chat_

 **probably sasha** _added_ **this is tim** _to the chat_

 **probably sasha** _added_ **Martin Blackwood** _to the chat_

 **probably sasha** _added_ **melanie king??** _to the chat_

 **probably sasha** _added_ **ghost bb** _to the chat_

 **probably sasha** _added_ **Basira Hussain** _to the chat_

 **probably sasha** _renamed the chat_ **Holiday Party**

 **probably sasha** : so Christmas is in five days

 **probably sasha** : and it used to be a big deal for my family

 **probably sasha** : and I haven’t really had a big Christmas celebration in almost six years

 **probably sasha** : I know that some/most of you might not celebrate Christmas

 **probably sasha** : but I’d still like to throw a holiday party.

 **probably sasha** : because we’ve been through a lot of bad things lately 

**probably sasha** : I may have escaped Michael again, but I don’t know if I’ll survive another encounter

 **probably sasha** : so this could be my last Christmas

 **probably sasha** : okay now that I think about it I’m not trying to guilt trip you guys by pointing that out

 **probably sasha** : But would you guys like to come to my mostly secular holiday party?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Of course love <3

 **this is tim** : I’ll be there w/ pizza rolls

 **probably sasha** : ...pizza rolls?

 **this is tim** : you’ve got your Christmas traditions and I have mine

 **Basira Hussain** : Are you doing it on Christmas?

 **probably sasha** : yeah, or Christmas Eve if people have family things

 **probably sasha** : OH Basira and Melanie are you allergic to cats?

 **Basira Hussain** : I am not allergic to cats, but I usually work Christmas Eve/Day so other people can celebrate

 **Basira Hussain** : And I just remembered that I’m unemployed, so I can come either day.

 **melanie king??** : not allergic, I’ll come

 **ghost bb** : I’ll be there!!

 **probably sasha** : aaa alrighty alrighty 

**probably sasha** : thank you guys!!!

 **probably sasha** : Is Christmas Day alright for everyone?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Yes!

 **this is tim** : ^^^

 **ghost bb** : ^^^

 **Basira Hussain** : ^^^

 **melanie king??** : ^^^

 **probably sasha** : okay so we’ll eat at 15:00 you guys can come over any time after 9:00

 **probably sasha** : can everyone bring a food thing? just bc I’m not going to cook an entire stereotypical Christmas dinner I can’t even cook rice

 **probably sasha** : and Basira do you have dietary restrictions? How can I help with that?

 **this is tim** : I’m bringing pizza rolls and I will eat the entire bag if no one else does

 **Basira Hussain** : Yes I do have restrictions. I just need to know what’s gonna be there so I can see if it’s halal. If anyone makes homemade stuff, please send me the recipe. If nothing else, I can eat what I bring.

 **probably sasha** : Basira love we don’t want an “if nothing else” 

**probably sasha** : you should be able to eat 

**Basira Hussain** : Thanks for thinking of me <3

 **Martin Blackwood** : I’ve got my grandmothers pie recipe I’ll send it to you Basira

 **Basira Hussain** : 👍

 **melanie king??** : ah damn I was going to bring my grandmothers pie recipe 

**probably sasha** : we can have more than one pie Mel

 **melanie king??** : no Martin can bring his

 **melanie king??** : my grandmothers recipe is “whatever pie is on sale in the frozen section on the 24th”

 **this is tim** : ahsusjehsh that’s wonderful

 **melanie king??** : I’ll bring her pasta salad recipe instead 

**melanie king??** : Basira it’s sent to you, if you can’t have bacon I’ll make some without it too

 **Basira Hussain** : Martin you’re good, Melanie it’s good except for the bacon so if it’s not too much trouble I’ll take some

 **melanie king??** : np np

 **ghost bb** : I will bring bees 

**probably sasha** : NO GEORGIE THAT’S OKAY WE’RE GOOD

 **ghost bb** : ahsissj

 **ghost bb** : *bread. 

**probably sasha** : oh thank god

 **Martin Blackwood** : So far we have carbs, carbs, and more carbs.

 **melanie king??** : hey there are tomatoes in the pasta salad

 **this is tim** : there are tomatoes in the pizza rolls too

 **Martin Blackwood** : How are you two simultaneously the unhealthiest and the skinniest people I know?

 **melanie king??** : I had an eating disorder when I was 15-17 and so now I can’t gain weight 

**this is tim** : I wake up every morning at five to work out because dysphoria

 **Martin Blackwood** : ouch sorry I asked

 **ghost bb** : jesus are you guys okay?

 **this is tim** : no

 **melanie king??** : no

 **this is tim** : hey basira you used to be a cop

 **Basira Hussain** : Yes, what does that have to do with anything?

 **this is tim** : can we have a little crime? for christmas?

 **Basira Hussain** : What law are you breaking?

 **this is tim** : hiding a fugitive

 **this is tim** : if we can find jon can he come to christmas

 **Basira Hussain** : If you found Jon in the next five days, I’d be impressed. And a little scared.

 **Basira Hussain** : Objectively? If Jon was there I wouldn’t do anything about it. But we have no idea where he is.

 **this is tim** : yeah :(

 **this is tim** : I just don’t like the idea of him being alone out there somewhere

 **Basira Hussain** : Me neither. But wherever he is, we have to trust that he’s safe.

 **probably sasha** : :( I miss him

 **this is tim** : me too :(

 **this is tim** : he was a paranoid eldritch horror and an all around prick, but I miss him

 **melanie king??** : ^^^ write that on my tombstone

**my husband martin** _to_ **my wife georgie**

**my husband martin** : Any more letters?

 **my wife georgie** : no, sorry

 **my wife georgie** : I’ve been home more often, trying to catch him, but I almost wonder if that’s why he’s not come back

 **my husband martin** : I wish I knew where he was at least.

 **my wife georgie** : he’s safe, apparently

 **my husband martin** : Think I have the letter memorized at this point

 **my wife georgie** : really?

 **my husband martin** : “My dear Martin: I apologize for the handwriting, I’m still shaking. I wish I could explain everything to you. You deserve an explanation, a million explanations. But I want to give you plausible deniability. I think another one of those entities runs the police department, which explains some things.”

 **my husband martin** : “My very first supernatural experience was with a Leitner. You didn’t know that. No one knows that, I’ve never told anyone before.”

 **my husband martin** : “That doesn’t mean I killed him. God, that makes it sound like I killed him. I guess I just have to trust that you believe me to be innocent, however hard that may be.”

 **my husband martin** : “But you were right: I shouldn’t have gone for a cigarette. Now, the stress has made me completely relapse. Oh, and I’m also wanted for murder. But you knew that.”

 **my wife georgie** : you don’t have to share, Martin

 **my husband martin** : Right, sorry.

 **my wife georgie** : it’s alright

 **my wife georgie** : we just have to trust that he knows what he’s doing

 **my husband martin** : I doubt he knows what he’s doing. This is Jon we’re talking about

 **my wife georgie** : haha that’s fair

 **my wife georgie** : then we just need to trust that he’ll be okay.

 **my husband martin** : Yeah.

 **my husband martin** : Jon...

 **my husband martin** : Jon’s really hard to love sometimes

 **my wife georgie** : *most of the time

 **my wife georgie** : but he’s worth it

 **my husband martin** : Yeah, yeah he is.


	30. Jonny’s Two Hour Christmas Special (Part Two: Electric Boogaloo)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **this is tim** : she looks pretty in every picture?
> 
> **Basira Hussain** : Not going to work, Stoker.
> 
> **this is tim** : alrighty then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Minor transphobia, canon-typical misunderstandings, (Melanie makes a joke that is taken seriously because no one else knows she’s trans), mentions of police brutality

**Holiday Party**

_23:12_

**Martin Blackwood** : _sent a video_

(The camera focuses on a dark-skinned woman in a peppermint-striped hijab, staring at her phone, the remnants of a smile fading from her face.

“What did you just say?” Martin asks from out of frame

Basira looks up, and raises her eyebrows when she notices the camera. “Trying to catch me in the act, Blackwood?”

“It was funny!” Martin argues. 

Basira smirks. “I said this is the opposite of an office holiday party. At office parties, they say it’s going to be secular and it’s very clearly a Christmas party. We’re actually here on Christmas, and we’re listening to the Macarena.”

Someone laughs off camera.)

**Martin Blackwood** : _sent a video_

(The camera focuses on Tim, wearing a horrific snowman jumper, sitting crisscrossed on the floor, in the middle of an intense story, gesturing widely. Next to him, a thin Asian woman with blue hair and a leather jacket stares at Tim like she can’t decide whether to be disgusted or horrified.

“-not the worst thing I’ve ever done. Or the worst _person_ I’ve ever done, to be honest,” Tim says, and Melanie falls over laughing.

The camera pans over to Sasha, wearing a bedazzled headband with deer antlers and a snowman jumper that matches Tim’s, looking quite horrified.

“Jesus Christ, Tim!” Sasha exclaimed.

“Hey, you can’t say that! It’s Christmas!” Tim shouts. 

“Okay, then what the actual fuck?” Sasha says. 

The camera pans back to Tim, who shakes with laugher. “I didn’t say it was a smart decision!”

“Whatever,” Melanie says, sitting back up. “I’m just impressed that you two didn’t get caught.”

Tim shrugs, and smiles. “What can I say? I’m invincible.”)

**Martin Blackwood** : _sent a video_

(The camera focuses on Georgie, wearing a jumper with a grey cat that reads ‘Meowy Catmas!’ She’s holding a bright red mug topped with whipped cream. She looks over at the camera, and smiles.

“I just realized you’re not in any of the videos,” Martin says off camera. “So how are you doing Georgie?”

Georgie smiles. “It’s Christmas, I am doing wonderfully.”

“Uh... I don’t know what to say now,” Martin says. Georgie giggles. “Oh, are you having eggnog or hot cocoa?”

“Hot cocoa,” Georgie makes a face. “Eggnog is disgusting.”

“What?” Martin fakes offense, and Georgie giggles again.

“Look, if I wanted to drink eggs... actually, I can’t think of a situation where I would want to drink eggs,” Georgie said.

“Whatever, Georgie, you’re entitled to your wrong opinions. Say goodbye.”

“Goodbye!” She waves at the camera.)

**Martin Blackwood** : _sent a video_

(The camera focuses again on Basira, but this time she’s staring directly at the camera.

“Are you recording?” Basira asks.

“Yeah?” Martin says, sounding confused.

“Okay. I just wanted to say, on the record, that all cops are bastards-“

Basira continues talking, but it’s drowned out by cheers from the rest of the room.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Martin asked.

“I said now you have to turn the camera off, because I can’t legally tell you all this story.”

“Alright.”)

**Martin Blackwood** : _sent a video_

(The camera focuses on Tim, sitting on the floor, and Sasha, sitting on the couch. Sasha attempts to toss popcorn into Tim’s mouth, and is unsuccessful for three minutes.

“This is the last one I have,” Sasha says, holding up a piece of popcorn.

“Shit, the pressure’s on,” Tim says. He mimes cracking his knuckles, as if that will cancel out the fact that both he and Sasha are drunk and have very bad coordination.

Sasha closes one eye, sticks out her tongue, and throws the piece of popcorn. Finally, it lands in Tim’s mouth. Both of them cheer.)

**Martin Blackwood** : _sent a video_

(The camera focuses on Georgie, leaning back against the couch, with Melanie’s head in her lap. Basira can be seen in the background, staring at her phone.

“Gay,” Martin says. Georgie looks up, and flips him off, though she smiles.

“Shut up,” she says, and Martin laughs. 

“God forbid we actually give trans people rights,” Tim says somewhere off camera.

“I mean we all know that trans people don’t deserve rights,” Melanie says.

The room explodes in a flurry of outrage. Both Melanie and Georgie seem shocked by the response.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Sasha snaps, in a harsher tone than most of them had ever heard her use.

Melanie sits up, holding her hands up in mock surrender. “Woah, Sasha-“

“No!” Sasha yells. “No debate, no argument, I will not have that shit in my house!”

“Sasha-“ Georgie cut in, but Sasha interrupted her.

“No, leave my house! And if you’re going to defend her, you can leave too Georgie!”

“Didn’t take you for a terf, Melanie,” Tim snarls.

“I’m not a terf, I’m a trans woman!” Melanie shouts. The room goes quiet.

“You are?” Tim asks, quietly.

“Yes!” both Melanie and Georgie said at the same time.

“I’m pretty open about it, so I thought you all knew. I was being completely sarcastic, I’m sorry if it didn’t come out that way. But it is nice to see you guys get so angry about transphobia, so there’s that,” Melanie added.

“Oh my god,” Sasha said.

“If she were transphobic, I wouldn’t be friends with her,” Georgie said. “You remember our mutual friend, Sasha?”

“I mean, I didn’t think you would have...” Sasha trailed off, and took a deep breath. “Maybe we should stop talking about politics for a while.”

“Aww,” Basira says sarcastically. “What else are the holidays for?”)

**Martin Blackwood** : Okay that’s all I have

**melanie king??** : ew I can believe you caught the .2 seconds I was transphobic on video 

**probably sasha** : I was this close to throwing hands

**this is tim** : I would have helped

**Basira Hussain** : Me too

**Martin Blackwood** : I probably would have just recorded the whole thing

**melanie king??** : okay but does anyone else have pictures/videos?

**probably sasha** : _sent an image_ (A kitchen island, with the various items of their Christmas dinner on it)

**probably sasha** : _sent an image_ (A dark living room, the only lights coming from a Christmas tree in the corner. Basira stands next to it, looking at the tree, and the lights reflect back off her skin, making her seem to glow)

**probably sasha** : _sent an image_ (Everyone sitting in the living room, curled up under blankets, watching Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer.)

**ghost bb** : okay but DAMN

**ghost bb** : Basira you look??? so pretty??? in that picture????

**this is tim** : she looks pretty in every picture?

**Basira Hussain** : Not going to work, Stoker.

**this is tim** : alrighty then

**Basira Hussain** : Thank you Georgie <3

**this is tim** : ohhhh i get it

**Basira Hussain** : Hush.

**Basira 🏵** _to_ **Daisy 🌼**

_8:32_  
 **Basira 🏵** : Merry Christmas.

_9:21_  
 **Basira 🏵** : Still ignoring me then?

_10:04_  
 **Basira 🏵** : Are you working today?

_10:57_  
 **Basira 🏵** : I’m at a party but I’d leave if you asked me to.

_11:46_  
 **Basira 🏵** : Really wish you’d ask me to.

**Basira 🏵** : Not like I’m suffering, I’m having fun.

**Basira 🏵** : But I miss you.

_13:28_  
 **Basira 🏵** : Really wish you’d respond to my messages.

_13:49_  
 **Basira 🏵** : At least to let me know you’re alright.

_15:03_  
 **Basira 🏵** : I know, I know. I can practically hear you in my head calling me dramatic. Send me something, anything, just let me know you’re at least getting these?

_15:23_  
 **Basira 🏵** : Please?

_23:28_  
 **Basira 🏵** : _sent an image_ (The picture of her by the tree.)

**Daisy 🌼** : there’s my girl.

**Basira 🏵** : What do you mean?

**Basira 🏵** : Daisy?

**Basira 🏵** : Don’t disappear again I swear to God

**Basira 🏵** : Daisy!

**[Unknown Number]** _to_ **Martin Blackwood** , _24:02_

**[Unknown Number]** : I didn’t text you. You didn’t see this message.

**Martin Blackwood** : What? Who is this?

**[Unknown Number]** : I can’t tell you that.

**[Unknown Number]** : _sent an image_ (Curled up on an old couch, in a jumper several sizes too big, looking tired but definitely alive, is Jonathan Sims)

**[Unknown Number]** : He wanted to tell you Merry Christmas.

**Martin Blackwood** : OH MY GOD

**Martin Blackwood** : WHERE IS HE

**[Unknown Number]** : Safe in my care.

**[Unknown Number]** : You have to understand- I’m not texting you right now. I’m not supposed to have this number. I’m not supposed to say anything about the whereabouts of Jonathan Sims.

**[Unknown Number]** : But he mentioned you seven times today (I counted). It’s quite sad, honestly. 

**[Unknown Number]** : He just wanted to spend Christmas with you.

**Martin Blackwood** : I swear, if you’re keeping him captive or hurting him or something, I will kill you

**[Unknown Number]** : Trust me, I would never. Jon holds a special place in my heart.

**[Unknown Number]** : My home is the only place the Hunter can’t find him, he’s more safe here than anywhere.

**Martin Blackwood** : ...

**Martin Blackwood** : Fine.

**Martin Blackwood** : Thank you, whoever you are.

**[Unknown Number]** : You’re very welcome, Mr. Blackwood.


	31. Update The Chart, Sasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **this is tim** : so are we doing something for new years
> 
> **melanie king??** : Christmas was yesterday???
> 
> **this is tim** : yeah and new years is in five days that’s how calendars work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mentions of police brutality
> 
> Can I just say how much I love seeing you guy’s theories as to who Jon’s staying with? I mean, I’m not telling you who’s right. But it’s wonderful to see you guys getting so excited!

**my husband martin** to **my wife georgie**

**my husband martin** : _sent an image_ (The picture of Jon).

**my wife georgie** : HOLY SHIT

**my wife georgie** : IS HE AT YOUR HOUSE

**my husband martin** : No, I don’t know where he is

**my husband martin** : I got a text from a random number telling me that Jon was alive

**my husband martin** : _sent three screenshots_ (The conversation with the unknown number)

**my wife georgie** : Holy shit

**my wife georgie** : How did this person get your number??

**my husband martin** : Probably Jon? 

**my husband martin** : I was wondering if maybe you recognized the number, like if it was one of your band members

**my wife georgie** : not on sight, just a second

**my wife georgie** : okay it’s not in my contacts, but that doesnt mean he’s not with a band member 

**my husband martin** : Actually, I think it might

**my husband martin** : If it was a band member, don’t you think they’d text you?

**my wife georgie** : most of them would assume we’re not talking

**my wife georgie** : fuck

**my wife georgie** : on one hand I’m glad he’s alive. on the other I wish I knew who he was with 

**my husband martin** : Me too.

**my husband martin** : Should we tell the others?

**my wife georgie** : I don’t know

**my wife georgie** : I mean, bad things usually happen when we try to keep secrets from each other so probably

**my husband martin** : Okay, I’ll tell them

**Holiday Party**

**this is tim** : so are we doing something for new years

**melanie king??** : Christmas was yesterday???

**this is tim** : yeah and new years is in five days that’s how calendars work

**melanie king??** : not what I meant 🖕

**probably sasha** : if we do I’m not hosting

**this is tim** : of course not sash I’m not cruel

**ghost bb** _changed their name to_ **Georgie Barker**

**Georgie Barker** : that reminds me, I forgot to send this picture last night 

**Georgie Barker** : _sent an image_ (An orange cat with white paws and a white face. She’s wearing a Christmas jumper, with a string of tinsel around her body, and doesn’t look happy about it)

**Georgie Barker** : if you come to the party early, you get to see Therapy in her Christmas jumper before she tries to eat it and Sasha takes it off her

**melanie king??** : kitty!!

**probably sasha** : oh thank god

**probably sasha** : I didn’t take any pictures of her, I was too busy laughing

**this is tim** : I love Therapy more than life itself

**probably sasha** : ^^^

**Martin Blackwood** : There’s another picture from last night that we should probably talk about.

**Martin Blackwood** : _sent an image_

**probably sasha** : OH MY GOD

**this is tim** : JON

**melanie king??** : he’s not dead!

**Basira Hussain** : Martin is he with you??

**Martin Blackwood** : No, he’s not.

**Martin Blackwood** : I got a text from a random number that sent me the picture and said he was alive

**Basira Hussain** : You have NO IDEA who this person could be?

**Martin Blackwood** : No, I’m sorry.

**Martin Blackwood** : But the person said that their home was “the only place the Hunter couldn’t find them”

**Martin Blackwood** : They capitalized the Hunter like that too

**this is tim** : who’s the Hunter?

**probably sasha** : Maybe that’s another entity? Or maybe the entity is the Hunt and the avatar is the Hunter?

**Basira Hussain** : Wait, entity? Avatar?

**probably sasha** : shit.

**probably sasha** : how willing are you to believe in the supernatural?

**Basira Hussain** : Just explain.

**probably sasha** : An entity is essentially an evil god that feeds on/gains power from fear. They have human servants, called avatars, who gain powers from serving the entities.

**Basira Hussain** : That explains some things, actually.

**Georgie Barker** : But what about this Hunter??? Who are they?

**Martin Blackwood** : And why are they after Jon?

**this is tim** : yeah, I thought the only people looking for Jon were us?

**melanie king??** : well, us and the police. he’s wanted for murder, remember?

**probably sasha** : I know the police are bad, but are they really eldritch-fear god bad?

**Basira Hussain** : Oh. Oh no.

**Martin Blackwood** : Basira what does that mean??

**Basira Hussain** : It means I’m going to miss the New Year’s Eve party.

**Basira Hussain** _has left the chat_

**melanie king??** : so the police are ELDRITCH FEAR GOD BAD

**Martin Blackwood** : We’ve got to find Jon before the police do.

**Georgie Barker** : Maybe try texting that number again, Martin, see if they respond

**this is tim** : explain what’s going on

**probably sasha** : if they really care about Jon they’ll help us

**Martin Blackwood** _to_ **[Unknown Number]**

**Martin Blackwood** : Um excuse me?

**[Unknown Number]** : What part of “we didn’t have this conversation” is unclear to you? You don’t have this number, Mr. Blackwood.

**Martin Blackwood** : Sorry, sorry. But do you know? Everything about the Institute, I mean.

**[Unknown Number]** : Sigh.

**[Unknown Number]** : I know more about the Institute than you do, but not everything about it.

**Martin Blackwood** : So you know about the entities?

**[Unknown Number]** : I can neither confirm nor deny that statement.

**[Unknown Number]** : I really shouldn’t tell you anything. When it comes to the Eye, ignorance isn’t just bliss. It’s the line between life and death.

**[Unknown Number]** : All will come to you in due time.

**Martin Blackwood** : Well yeah but Jon’s being hunted by another avatar so I think it’s due time 

**[Unknown Number]** : Sigh. Again.

**[Unknown Number]** : I know that Jon is being Hunted. I know how the police work. But I already told you they can’t find him here.

**Martin Blackwood** : And how do you know that Daisy can’t find him?

**[Unknown Number]** : You’re on first name terms with your boyfriend’s potential killer?

**Martin Blackwood** : He’s NOT my boyfriend. He’s just my friend.

**[Unknown Number]** : Well, at the moment.

**[Unknown Number]** : And I know that the Hunt can’t find him here because I’ve got my own entity to hide behind <3

**[Unknown Number]** : My home is safer than even your Institute. Jon wasn’t supposed to come here so soon, but things don’t always go to plan.

**Martin Blackwood** : So far you’ve given me no reason to trust you.

**[Unknown Number]** : Trust me?

**[Unknown Number]** : You know what, thank you for reaching out Mr. Blackwood. I needed the laugh.

**Holiday Party**

**Georgie Barker** : Anything?

**Martin Blackwood** : Well, whoever it is, they’re a bitch.

**this is tim** : wow what did they do???

**melanie king??** : uh not to be stupid but ‘bitch’ isn’t that harsh? 

**probably sasha** : I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve heard Martin swear.

**this is tim** : he “doesn’t believe in it”

**Martin Blackwood** : There are just better words you could- you know what, nevermind.

**Martin Blackwood** : They are aware that Jon is being hunted, and confirmed The Hunt as one of the entities, but they insist Jon is safe. They are also an avatar, but didn’t say for what.

**this is tim** : well, that’s fantastic

**Georgie Barker** : Fuck.

**melanie king??** : Sasha update the list

**probably sasha** : _sent an image_ (A poster board with “Spooky Shit” written on the top, and a t-chart underneath it. On the left side of the chat is the word “Entities”. Listed under it in bullet points under it are the words Eye/Beholding, Spiral, and Hunt. On the right side of the chart is the word “Avatars”. Listed under it in bullet points is Jon (Eye), Elias/Jonah (Eye), The Distortion/Michael (Spiral), The Police (Hunt), and Mystery Person (??))

**probably sasha** : updated

**Martin Blackwood** : There’s one more thing.

**Martin Blackwood** : They essentially said that we shouldn’t trust them.

**probably sasha** : that’s... not ideal.

**probably sasha** : but I don’t think we can trust anyone that willingly fucks with the entities

**Martin Blackwood** : Fair enough.


	32. Ball In A Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **melanie king??** : fucking ready to stab elias 
> 
> **probably sasha** : ^^^
> 
> **Martin Blackwood** : ^^^
> 
> **this is tim** : ^^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Grief
> 
> I was going to make this a lighthearted chapter. Emphasis on _was_

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

_9:45_

**this is tim** _added_ **melanie king??** _to the chat_

**this is tim** : january fifth, the first day of hell

**this is tim** : ms king, how are you feeling?

**melanie king??** : fucking ready to stab elias 

**probably sasha** : ^^^

**Martin Blackwood** : ^^^

**this is tim** : ^^^

**melanie king??** _changed the chat name to_ **Time To Stab Elias**

**probably sasha** : nah I’m calling rule thirteen sorry love

**probably sasha** _changed the chat name to_ **Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

**melanie king??** : fuck there are rules?

**this is tim** : oh yeah I forgot about those rules

**probably sasha** : you’re the reason for half of these rules Tim how’d you forget them?

**probably sasha** : Martin do you still have them written down?

**probably sasha** : I only remember that one bc it was thirteen

**Martin Blackwood** : Yes, just a sec

**Martin Blackwood** : 1) No cake in the Archives.

**Martin Blackwood** : 2) No sources of ignition in the Archives.

**Martin Blackwood** : 3) No pining in the group chats. However, this ban can be lifted for a certain amount of time not to exceed five minutes, but only by a person not doing the pining.

**Martin Blackwood** : 4) Before reading any book brought to the Institute, check for a bookplate reading. “From The Library of Jurgen Leitner”. If it does, do not read under any circumstance. If it doesn’t, proceed with caution.

**Martin Blackwood** : 5) No excessive use of the labeling tape.

**Martin Blackwood** : 6) Check twice for worms.

**Martin Blackwood** : 7) If Jon comes to an after-work event, make sure that everyone (especially the host) is aware that Jon is coming.

**Martin Blackwood** : 8) Tim is banned from using the staplers.

**Martin Blackwood** : 9) Tim is banned from going into Jon’s office when Jon is not there.

**Martin Blackwood** : 10) Tim is banned from creating new rules.

**Martin Blackwood** : 11) Do not go into the tunnels alone.

**Martin Blackwood** : 12) If you see a door that wasn’t there before, do not enter. If you see a tall blond man who may or may not have knife fingers, do not interact with him. Michael is not an ally.

**Martin Blackwood** : 13) ELIAS CANNOT KNOW WHAT WE KNOW. Any actions that could cause him to become suspicious are therefore banned.

**Martin Blackwood** : 14) In this household we love and support Jonathan Sims, however spooky he may become.

**Martin Blackwood** : 15) Bring your own stim toys.

**Martin Blackwood** : 16) Martin is the only one allowed to make tea.

**Martin Blackwood** : 17) Don’t keep secrets from the group. Bad things always happen.

**Martin Blackwood** : I think that’s it?

**melanie king??** : jesus why are there so many

**probably sasha** : Tim.

**Martin Blackwood** : Tim.

**this is tim** : bc the archives are dangerous 

**this is tim** : HEY

**melanie king??** : haha

**melanie king??** : overall tho it isn’t that bad

**melanie king??** : as long as I can ignore Elias, this should be fine.

**this is tim** : famous last words.

**temporarily the archivist** _to_ **permanently a disaster**

_20:03_

**temporarily the archivist** : Tim?

**permanently a disaster** : sasha?

**temporarily the archivist** : are you mad at me?

**permanently a disaster** : no!

**permanently a disaster** : why do you think I’m mad at you?

**temporarily the archivist** : I just feel like you’ve been avoiding me

**permanently a disaster** : no, I’m not avoiding you!!

**permanently a disaster** : do you want to do lunch tomorrow?

**temporarily the archivist** : sure!!

**permanently a disaster** : I’m sorry you thought I was avoiding you

**temporarily the archivist** : no no it’s okay

**temporarily the archivist** : I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t something I did to make you hate me or something

**permanently a disaster** : there is nothing you could do to make me hate you.

**temporarily the archivist** : bet.

**permanently a disaster** : it’s true!

**temporarily the archivist** : on another note I noticed something and I wanted to ask you about it

**permanently a disaster** : okay?

**temporarily the archivist** : we didn’t list the Circus or Grimaldi on our chart of spooky shit.

**permanently a disaster** : oh

**temporarily the archivist** : Do we put them on there?

**permanently a disaster** : yes

**permanently a disaster** : I just don’t know what side they should be on I guess

**temporarily the archivist** : I think Circus under entities and Grimaldi under avatars

**permanently a disaster** : I guess yeah

**permanently a disaster** : ok

**temporarily the archivist** : now I’ve switched you from being mad at me to sad 

**permanently a disaster** : hah

**permanently a disaster** : I really wasn’t mad

**temporarily the archivist** : but you are sad?

**permanently a disaster** : it just hurts to put it down on the chart like it’s a fucking novelty or something

**permanently a disaster** : not your fault and I do think we should have it on there just 

**permanently a disaster** : Ive just been missing him recently and I’m not sure why

**temporarily the archivist** : I’m sorry.

**temporarily the archivist** : I think I have a guess if you want me to?

**permanently a disaster** : please

**temporarily the archivist** : well the holidays just ended, and there’s a big focus on “getting together with loved ones” during that time. like I lost my dad almost a decade ago and I still miss him at the holidays

**temporarily the archivist** : plus this whole thing with Jon might be setting you off. the whole “is he safe/alive/dead” thing has been going on for months, which is a slightly different kind of grief but sometimes grief triggers more grief. losing someone else reminds you of the first loss

**permanently a disaster** : yeah that makes sense

**permanently a disaster** : but like it’s been four years? he’s not coming back, I should move on

**temporarily the archivist** : have you heard of the ball in the box metaphor for grief?

**permanently a disaster** : no? I don’t think so

**temporarily the archivist** : it goes a bit like this

**temporarily the archivist** : inside you, there’s a box with a ball in it. there’s also a pain button, and every time the button is pushed it hurts.

**temporarily the archivist** : in the beginning, when you first lose the person, the ball is huge. you can’t move without the ball hitting the button. the ball just rattles around, pushing the button relentlessly 

**temporarily the archivist** : over time the ball gets smaller. it hits the button less and less. but every time the button is hit, it still hurts just as much.

**temporarily the archivist** : the ball never really goes away. the time between hits just gets longer and longer.

**temporarily the archivist** : so no, you shouldn’t have gotten over it by now. because this is something I don’t think anyone ever gets over. and four years isn’t a very long time.

**permanently a disaster** : sasha 

**permanently a disaster** : what am I supposed to do without you?

**temporarily the archivist** : Tim, don’t.

**permanently a disaster** : No, I’m serious.

**permanently a disaster** : there is literally no one on this earth who I would go to before you

**permanently a disaster** : you’re my best friend

**permanently a disaster** : when danny died I didn’t get any warnings

**permanently a disaster** : no one expects a healthy 22 year old man to just die out of nowhere 

**permanently a disaster** : sometimes I tell myself that there had to be some sign of what was to come, but there wasn’t. there was nothing I could have done

**permanently a disaster** : and it’s not the holidays or fucking Jon who’s got me thinking about it. it’s you.

**permanently a disaster** : michael gave you a death sentence. we know it’s coming. and we aren’t doing anything to try and stop it!

**permanently a disaster** : everyone’s so worried about poor, frames for murder eldritch monster Jon, we’ve all practically forgotten 

**permanently a disaster** : and we can’t forget

**permanently a disaster** : we have to stop michael from taking you

**permanently a disaster** : because I couldn’t live without you

**permanently a disaster** : because if that ball was put in my box it’d never get smaller 

**permanently a disaster** : it’d just hurt forever until I died 

**temporarily the archivist** : I’m on my way over.

**permanently a disaster** : I love you Sasha. 

**temporarily the archivist** : I’m outside the building

**temporarily the archivist** : And I love you too.


	33. Love Does Exist After All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **this is tim** : jesus I didn’t see you in there
> 
> **this is tim** : why are you hiding in a storage closet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mentions of police brutality

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

**melanie king??** : fuck Martin remind me I owe you a fiver

**melanie king??** : I don’t have cash I’ll get it at lunch

**Martin Blackwood** : Don’t worry about it!

**probably sasha** : what is going on?

**melanie king??** : let’s just say Martin knows you better than I do

**Martin Blackwood** : We had a bet

**this is tim** : okay just tell us

**melanie king??** : well when you guys didn’t come to work on time the two of us started betting as to why you were late

**melanie king??** : we decided to ignore the possibility that you both died

**melanie king??** : and so after that possibility was removed, Martin said “I bet they had sex”

**melanie king??** : so now I owe him a fiver

**probably sasha** : what makes you think we had sex???

**melanie king??** : you two showed up two hours late, came in together, and Sasha is wearing the same trousers as yesterday with a shirt that clearly belongs to Tim

**melanie king??** : signs of an unplanned sleepover

**this is tim** : okay yeah there was an unplanned sleepover 

**this is tim** : but it was a completely pg sleepover

**melanie king??** : oh

**melanie king??** : anyways Martin I’ll still pay you because they literally slept together

**Martin Blackwood** : Completely PG? Because you two keep looking at each other like there was something

**this is tim** : wtf martin

**this is tim** : how do you know that? ur not in the archives?

**Martin Blackwood** : Yes I am. Look behind you

**this is tim** : jesus I didn’t see you in there

**this is tim** : why are you hiding in a storage closet?

**Martin Blackwood** : I’m not hiding! 

**Martin Blackwood** : I’m recording statements

**probably sasha** : why?

**Martin Blackwood** : Well, I wasn’t sure what to do because Sasha’s been in charge, so I just started recording

**Martin Blackwood** : Plus I feel like someone should do it, because Jon’s not here to.

**this is tim** : yeah that make sense.

**Martin Blackwood** : So if it’s not a sex look, what’s that supposed to be?

**melanie king??** : ^^^

**probably sasha** : hmm. what is it Tim?

**this is tim** : I think... hope.

**melanie king??** : what do you know? love exists after all

**probably sasha** : apparently so

**this is tim** : 👩🏽🤝👨🏻💋👩❤️👨

**probably sasha** : ew nevermind

**this is tim** : 😭

**all these ghosts** _to_ **still can’t find a boo**

**all these ghosts** : hey 

**still can’t find a boo** : hi!

**all these ghosts** : hate to be the bearer of bad news

**all these ghosts** : but Tim and Sasha got together

**still can’t find a boo** : that’s great!!

**still can’t find a boo** : finally lol

**still can’t find a boo** : what’s the bad news?

**all these ghosts** : wdym?

**all these ghosts** : I thought you had feelings for Sasha

**still can’t find a boo** : what??

**still can’t find a boo** : no I don’t!

**all these ghosts** : Georgie it’s okay if you do 

**still can’t find a boo** : No I really don’t have feelings for Sasha.

**still can’t find a boo** : I can see you typing and I don’t have feelings for Tim either 

**all these ghosts** : okay then bye

**still can’t find a boo** : bye??? what did I do?

**all these ghosts** : nothing I just have to go back to work

**still can’t find a boo** : that’s a lie and you know it

**still can’t find a boo** : Why are you mad that I don’t have feelings for Sasha or Tim?

**all these ghosts** : Because

**all these ghosts** : You said you had feelings for someone

**still can’t find a boo** : yeah I do!

**still can’t find a boo** : it’s just not Sasha or Tim

**all these ghosts** : Martin? Really? 

**still can’t find a boo** : no!!

**all these ghosts** : well can you just tell me then?

**still can’t find a boo** : No!!

**still can’t find a boo** : Why do you wanna know so badly all of the sudden?

**still can’t find a boo** : you were rlly dismissive when I told you the first time

**all these ghosts** : I wasn’t dismissive!

**still can’t find a boo** : yeah you were!

**still can’t find a boo** : you just changed the subject!

**all these ghosts** : well how did you want me to respond?

**still can’t find a boo** : I wanted you to show interest!

**still can’t find a boo** : To ask who it was!

**still can’t find a boo** : Not ignore the fact that I was trying to talk to you only to bring it up when the person you think I liked gets into a relationship!

**all these ghosts** : it’s not exactly something I want to talk about Georgie!

**still can’t find a boo** : why not?

**all these ghosts** : can’t I have boundaries??

**still can’t find a boo** : of course you can have boundaries!

**still can’t find a boo** : but then just tell me that instead of ignoring me!

**all these ghosts** : I’m not ignoring you!

**still can’t find a boo** : jesus christ you are the most stubborn person I’ve ever met

**all these ghosts** : you know what fuck you Georgie Barker

**still can’t find a boo** : no! can you please just acknowledge the fact that you were ignoring me?

**still can’t find a boo** : I’m not asking you to apologize I’m just asking you to acknowledge it

**all these ghosts** : fuck you

**all these ghosts** : just leave it

**still can’t find a boo** : Melanie I don’t think I’m being that unreasonable

**still can’t find a boo** : why are you so upset?

**all these ghosts** : because this isn’t how this conversation was supposed to go!

**all these ghosts** : because you were supposed to be upset and I was supposed to comfort you 

**all these ghosts** : because I’ve been in love with you for six years watching you catch feelings for everyone except me and times like these are the only times you’re mine

**all these ghosts** : and it’s selfish and stupid but it’s all I have especially now that I’ve essentially sold my soul to The Magnus Institute 

**still can’t find a boo** : ...

**still can’t find a boo** : that was the angriest admittance of feelings I’ve ever seen

**all these ghosts** : you know what I don’t know why I told you any of that just leave me be 

**still can’t find a boo** : Melanie no wait come back

**all these ghosts** : why, so you can mock me?

**still can’t find a boo** : Absolutely not

**still can’t find a boo** : Have you really been in love with me for six years? And I didn’t notice?

**all these ghosts** : you are about as observant as a brick wall

**still can’t find a boo** : you know what I deserve that

**still can’t find a boo** : Melanie, the person I have feelings for

**still can’t find a boo** : It’s you. 

**all these ghosts** : this better not be your idea of a joke 

**still can’t find a boo** : I’m serious!

**still can’t find a boo** : Melanie I have feelings for you. I don’t think I’m in love with you yet, but it could get there.

**still can’t find a boo** : Do you want to go on a date with me?

**all these ghosts** : I

**all these ghosts** : I’d like that, Georgie.

**still can’t find a boo** : <3 <3 <3

**Basira 🏵** _to_ **Daisy 🌼**

**Basira 🏵** : Daisy?

**Basira 🏵** : I know you’re still probably ignoring me, but I hope you at least have your phone with you.

**Basira 🏵** : I wanted to have this conversation in person, but that’s unlikely so I’ll just tell you here.

**Basira 🏵** : I was talking with the people from the Magnus Institute.

**Basira 🏵** : They have evidence of these... entities.

**Basira 🏵** : The entities are basically gods that feed off of fear.

**Basira 🏵** : They believe there’s an entity called The Hunt that feeds off the police force and honestly it would explain a lot of things.

**Basira 🏵** : But if it’s true, this thing could be feeding off of you.

**Basira 🏵** : Or even worse, it could be taking away your humanity, making you part of it.

**Basira 🏵** : Daisy, if you don’t listen to anything else I say, hear this:

**Basira 🏵** : Please come back to me. We can figure this out but we have to work together.

**Basira 🏵** : I miss you. I can’t find you and haven’t heard from you since Christmas. I don’t know if you’re even still alive, and it’s tearing me apart.

**Basira 🏵** : Daisy, please.

**Basira 🏵** : Come home.


	34. And The Oscar Goes To...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **this is tim** : we have a no cake in the archives rule but do we have a no alcohol rule bc I definitely need a drink right now
> 
>  **melanie king??** : ^^^
> 
>  **probably sasha** : ^^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mentions of injuries/blood, mentions of police brutality, mentions of unhealthy weight loss

**[Unknown Number]** _to_ **Martin Blackwood**

 _10:30_

**[Unknown Number]** : Hello Martin! Friend! Pal! Mate! Other word for friend!

 **Martin Blackwood** : Christ, what is it?

 **[Unknown Number]** : So, you know how I said that the Hunter couldn’t find Jon in my home?

 **[Unknown Number]** : Well, I can’t stop him from being found if he leaves.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Where is he??

 **[Unknown Number]** : Well...

 **[Unknown Number]** : I don’t actually know

 **[Unknown Number]** : But he’s been gone for several hours more than he should be gone.

 **[Unknown Number]** : You are in contant with Basira Hussain, correct? Can you inform her that the dog has caught our little Archivist?

 **Martin Blackwood** : I swear to god if he’s hurt I will end you.

 **[Unknown Number]** : He left the house against my orders, there’s not much I could have done.

 **[Unknown Number]** : Also, you totally couldn’t take me :)

 **[Unknown Number]** : Basira Hussain will know what to do. Just work quickly.

**Martin Blackwood** _to_ **Basira Hussain**

 **Martin Blackwood** : Hey Basira how are you?

 **Basira Hussain** : ...Fine?

 **Basira Hussain** : Do you need something?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Can’t I just reach out to a friend?

 **Basira Hussain** : Radio silence for two months. You need something.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Yeah, yeah I need something.

 **Martin Blackwood** : The unknown number contacted me again. They think that Daisy found Jon.

 **Basira Hussain** : Can I give you some advice?

 **Basira Hussain** : Next time, SAY THAT FIRST!

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

_11:25_

**probably sasha** : GUYS ELIAS JUST EMAILED ME AND ASKED FOR ALL OF US TO COME TO HIS OFFICE?

 **this is tim** : fuck fuck fuck

 **this is tim** : why????

 **melanie king??** : does he know??

 **probably sasha** : IDK BUT GET BACK HERE

 **probably sasha** : He just said that there’s something we should all here. we should walk up together. united front

 **this is tim** : shiiiiiiiit

 **this is tim** : so we play dumb right? pretend we don’t know anything about the entities/rituals/his real name?

 **probably sasha** : yes, that the plan. however if it’s clear he knows, denying it constantly could be bad. just follow my lead, I’ll make the call

 **melanie king??** : aye aye captain

 **this is tim** : watch he’s just going to be congratulating us on doing good without jon and we’re freaking out over nothing

 **Martin Blackwood** : That’s not it.

 **this is tim** : martin it’s a possibility don’t panic just yet

 **Martin Blackwood** : No, I know that’s not it.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Jon is back.

 **this is tim** : shit

 **this is tim** : did you see him??

 **Martin Blackwood** : No, but Basira texted me

 **Martin Blackwood** : They’re going to try and use Jon’s Archivist powers to get Elias to confess to murder.

 **probably sasha** : Alright, let’s go up. This should be fun.

_12:17_

**melanie king??** : well, that... happened

 **probably sasha** : definitely not fun. 

**melanie king??** : so we can’t kill fuckhead elias without ourselves being killed

 **melanie king??** : great

 **this is tim** : okay whenever basira gets down here martin and I got her a desk so she’s officially part of the team

 **this is tim** : we have a no cake in the archives rule but do we have a no alcohol rule bc I definitely need a drink right now

 **melanie king??** : ^^^

 **probably sasha** : ^^^

 **Martin Blackwood** _added_ **Basira Hussain** _to the chat_

 **Martin Blackwood** : Welcome to the fucking clown car we call an archive, Basira.

 **melanie king??** : did he just-

 **this is tim** : *gasp* martin just said the fuck word

 **probably sasha** : holy SHIT Martin are you okay?

 **Martin Blackwood** : No, of course not!

 **Martin Blackwood** : I am going to FUCKING THROW HANDS with whoever threw Jon in a blender and pressed purée and then whoever the fuck he was staying with and and then fucking Elias for good measure 

**this is tim** : he’s angy

 **probably sasha** : Jon looked AWFUL

 **probably sasha** : I said I wanted to see him again but I don’t think I wanted to see him like that

 **melanie king??** : okay but Basira??? is your girlfriend okay like goddamn

 **Basira Hussain** : Why does everyone think she’s my girlfriend?

 **Basira Hussain** : And she’s a Hunter, apparently. That is her “okay”.

 **melanie king??** : ouch I forgot about that but anyone who can pull a gun on elias is a friend of mine

 **this is tim** : a very tentative ^^^

 **probably sasha** : hey Basira can you find your way down here again?

 **Basira Hussain** : Yeah, I just needed to talk to Daisy. On my way down.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Basira, I’m so sorry that you got tied up in this.

 **Basira Hussain** : Eh, it’s not that bad.

 **Basira Hussain** : After all, with all I know where else was I supposed to work? Not that many supernatural related jobs that actually pay.

 **this is tim** : idk I think the Tesco’s on Eastern is haunted

 **Basira Hussain** : Ew you couldn’t pay me enough to work retail.

_12:43_

**probably sasha** : did-

 **probably sasha** : did that just happen?

 **probably sasha** : was I hallucinating?

 **this is tim** : I mean I SAW it but I don’t believe it I am in complete shock

 **Basira Hussain** : Wow. Just... wow.

 **melanie king??** : GUYS I CAUGHT THAT ON VIDEO

 **melanie king??** : _sent a video_

(The camera focuses on Melanie, as she sets her phone against something on her desk. She backs up and the rest of the Archive staff can be seen. Tim and Sasha are sitting on one desk, holding hands, with Basira and Martin sitting in chairs next to it.

“Daisy’ll come around. She can’t stay angry forever,” Basira says, and it’s unclear who she’s trying to convince.

“Can I get everyone’s attention?” Melanie calls, turning to the group of people. They all look back at her. 

Melanie coughs, and straightens up. In a fake, deep voice, she says, “And the Oscar for Best Performer goes to the entire archive gang, for pretending not to know what the hell Elias was talking about!”

Sasha laughs, and Tim applauds.

“Okay but did anyone else panic when they realized that Basira didn’t know we were pretending not to know?” Sasha asks. Tim throws his arm around her shoulder.

“Thank you so much for playing along,” Martin says, turning to Basira. “Even though we gave you no warning.”

“Yeah, I thought it was weird? But so is most of the stuff you Archives gang gets up to,” Basira says.

“Shoutout to Jon who had no fucking clue what was going on that entire time!” Tim said. “I mean, he didn’t even know Melanie was working here.”

“Fuck, I’ve got to tell Georgie he’s back,” Melanie says.

“No need. I’ll do it,” a deep voice says from the shadows. Everyone whips around to look at Jon as he steps out of the shadows.

Martin’s earlier assessment that Jon had been put in a blender is pretty accurate. Jon is an absolute mess. For the first time in everyone but Basira’s memory, Jon’s hair is down, nearly hitting his shoulders and with significantly more grey in it than before. He’d lost a significant amount of weight he hadn’t really had in the first place. If the bags under his eyes are anything to go by, he hasn’t slept since he last left the Institute. His right hand is wrapped up, though the bandages are starting to come off. The cut on his neck is still slowly dripping blood.

“Jon!” Sasha says, a bit too loud, and Jon jumps back, curling his arms around himself.

Martin stands up then, and turns to Jon. He reaches a hand out. “It’s okay Jon, it’s just us.”

Jon takes another step back, looking somewhat like a cornered animal. After a moment, however, he tentatively reaches out with his undamaged hand and grabs Martin like a lifeline.

“Martin,” Jon mumbles, several octaves too high and lacking any semblance of a “t”. Martin melts, moving closer to Jon and opening his arms, offering a hug.

Instead, Jon drops Martin’s hand and instead grabs his face, pulling him down into a kiss. It takes Martin a few seconds to process what’s happening, but once he does he wraps an arm around Jon’s waist and pulls him closer.

This lasts for several more seconds, before Jon pulls away and hides his face in Martin’s chest, sobbing.

“Shh, Jon, it’s okay,” Martin says, rubbing circles on his back. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

Jon nods, and allows Martin to lead him into his office.

The rest of the Archive gang stares in shock at the closed door.

“Uh...” Basira says. No one responds, still staring at the door. Eventually, Melanie breaks out of the trance long enough to look back at the camera, and run over to turn it off.)

**Martin Blackwood** : Yeah, Jon kissed me. Don’t you all have more important things to be worrying about?


	35. A Cultish Confessional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Depression, references to canon injuries, references to canon character death, canon-typical Tim anger, canon-typical Martin anxiety, canon-typical Jon guilt, evictions, self-hate, references to police brutality
> 
> And in other news I’ve been waiting to make that Aurora joke since chapter three.

**[Unknown Number]** _has created a group chat_

 **[Unknown Number]** _added_ **Martin <3** _to the chat_

 **[Unknown Number]** _added_ **Sasha Deserves Better** _to the chat_

 **[Unknown Number]** _added_ **Not Gunpowder Tim** _to the chat_

 **[Unknown Number]** _added_ **Ashes O’Reilly** _to the chat_

 **[Unknown Number]** _added_ **Nastya Rasputina** _to the chat_

 **[Unknown Number]** _added_ **The Aurora** _to the chat_

 **[Unknown Number]** _renamed the chat_ **Is It Still A Confessional If You’re In A Cult?**

 **[Unknown Number]** : I’m sure you all have questions. Go ahead and ask.

 **[Unknown Number]** : Oh, and I also attempted to do fun chat names, I know you all like those.

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : Who is this??

 **[Unknown Number]** : Oh, I’m sorry.

 **[Unknown Number]** _changed their name to_ **jon**

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : all the names being mechs references? love it.

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : and sasha’s is 1000% true

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : and martin’s is just cute as FUCK 

**jon** : What?

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : with the little heart?

 **jon** : Oh I was going to change that back I’m sorry

 **Ashes O’Reilly** : Jon has feelings? I don’t believe it.

 **Martin <3**: Don’t be sorry! It is really cute honestly.

 **Martin <3**: But why did you make everyone else’s name really fun and then didn’t even give yourself a capital letter?

 **jon** : Firstly I’m not cute and secondly I don’t deserve a capital letter

 **Martin <3**: JON

 **Martin <3**: I don’t even know what that MEANS but you’re wrong

 **Martin <3** _changed_ **jon** _name to_ **First Mate**

 **First Mate** : Did... did you listen to a Mechs album?

 **Martin <3**: Yeah! You said you were in a band, of course I was going to check it out!

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : Stop being gay on main we’re trying to ask Jon questions!

 **The Aurora** : my first question is what is my name supposed to mean?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : JONATHAN SIMS

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I can’t believe you’ve done this. I’ve never hated you more.

 **First Mate** : :)

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Check your private messages Melanie.

 **The Aurora** : Oh.

 **The Aurora** : Jonathan Sims I have never hated you more.

 **First Mate** : Me at me every morning when I wake up.

 **Martin <3**: J O N

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : Jon I swear to god

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : haha mood

 **Martin <3**: T I M

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : don’t encourage him

 **First Mate** : Okay, you guys have questions, I’m sure.

 **First Mate** : But instead of having you ask questions, I’m just going to infodump about everything that happened since the night Leitner died.

 **First Mate** : All I ask is that you don’t interrupt.

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : Alright!

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : ^^^

 **The Aurora** : ^^^

 **Nastya Rasputina** : ^^^

 **Ashes O’Reilly** : ^^^

 **Martin <3**: ^^^

 **First Mate** : Then you all just- okay then.

 **First Mate** : I apologize if this is slow, I’m still mostly one-handed.

 **First Mate** : So I found Leitner in the tunnels, and the two of us found our way back to the Institute. He told me a lot about Gertrude and quite a bit about the entities. 

**First Mate** : He was actually surprised that we knew so much so quickly.

 **First Mate** : But anyways, I got overwhelmed and left the room for a minute, and when I came back Leitner was dead.

 **First Mate** : I knew what this scene looked like to an outsider, and I knew that Basira believed there to be another power at the police station, even if she didn’t know what the powers were at the moment. So I ran. 

**First Mate** : I went to Georgie’s house first. I thought maybe, since she wasn’t part of the Institute, that I could hide there. But she wasn’t home. Tim and Sasha were still in Michael’s tunnels, and I couldn’t go to Martin. I was out of options. I started wandering the streets, with no clue as to what to do.

 **First Mate** : That’s when she found me. She told me that she could help, said she had been watching the Institute, promised me more information than even Leitner could have give me.

 **First Mate** : Some of you might know her from Statement 0101811. Annabelle Cane. I’m not a fan of spiders, but I didn’t have any other choice. She brought me to the house on Hilltop Road. Yes, that one. Said it was her house, and that the avatars, specifically Daisy, couldn’t find me there.

 **First Mate** : Staying with her was... fine? She spent most of her time in other parts of the house, always conveniently just out of sight. I think we talked five or six times over the three months I was there.

 **First Mate** : I don’t remember much over these last months, to be honest. I slipped into this fog. I don’t think I’ve been that depressed since... after the Mechs broke up? Not sure, really.

 **First Mate** : The first really important thing that happened was some point after New Years. Even though Annabelle said no one could find us, somehow Elias did. He started sending me statements to read, alluding to a ritual Gertrude called The Unknowing, performed by something Annabelle called The Stranger. You all know The Stranger by another name: The Circus.

 **First Mate** : Recently, I’ve been talking to other avatars about The Unknowing. No one knows anything useful, and whatever Annabelle knows she won’t tell me. But I did get some information on a few other entities.

 **First Mate** : First is The Desolation. Fear of fire, destruction of everything you care for, etc. The Cult of the Lightless Flame falls under this category, met one of their members, Jude Perry. Pro Tip: don’t shake their hand. Just don’t.

 **First Mate** : Second is The Vast. Falling, heights, open spaces, ect. Mike Crew was part of that, as are the Fairchild family. However, Mike won’t be showing up again. He was killed by Daisy. Which leads me into my third point...

 **First Mate** : The Hunt. I don’t know much about it, but that’s the entity behind the police department. 

**First Mate** : Then, obviously I learned a little bit about The Stranger. It’s really the fear of the uncanny, the thing that’s just familiar enough to frighten you. Mannequins, skin, things that are almost human, the Not-Them (an avatar that essentially replaces one of your loved ones and no one notices except for a few people), and of course clowns/circuses. They’re attempting a ritual soon, and Elias seems to think it’s a big deal and that we have to stop it. Annabelle didn’t seem too worried about it. I don’t trust either one of them, so I’m not sure how to respond.

 **First Mate** : The last one I learned about was The Web. Annabelle’s entity. Spiders and manipulation. She wouldn’t tell me much, but I think it’s a bit different from the others, at least in how it goes about its business. 

**First Mate** : Anyways, I was questioning Mike when Daisy caught up to me. 

**First Mate** : There’s only one real way to hide from an avatar- you’ve got to be inside a place another entity calls home. Kind of like how whatever’s in the tunnels stops Elias from seeing down there. The Web’s claim on the Hilltop Road House hid me from Daisy, but I kept going out, looking for more information. She killed Mike, and would have killed me too had Basira not shown up. 

**First Mate** : The three of us went to question Elias, which all of you were there for. Once you all left, Elias told me about the Unknowing and how he needs us to stop it. He won’t tell us how to stop it, though. The only thing I was really able to convince him of was to purchase me a new phone, seeing as he’s taking away my humanity.

 **First Mate** : Oh, but even that seems to have been a mistake on my part. I believe this is the newest possible thing he could have bought me, and I have no clue how to use it.

 **First Mate** : I think that’s all.

 **The Aurora** : so in summary, we gained some new entities, you gained some new scars, and you’re an old man?

 **First Mate** : ...Yes, pretty much.

 **First Mate** : Any questions?

 **Ashes O’Reilly** : At the risk of sounding stupid, what’s the Circus?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : ^^^

 **The Aurora** : ^^^

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : The thing that killed my brother.

 **First Mate** : Tim, I’m... I’m sorry. I wish it was a different entity, any other entity.

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : No, this is good. It gives me just another reason to tear them all apart limb from limb.

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : Sweetheart, I completely support you, but you need to hop off the revenge train for a second. We don’t know anything about this ritual yet. I’m all for destroying them, but I’m not sending you in blind with an axe or something.

 **First Mate** : I understand wanting revenge, but we need to seek it together. And we will stop The Stranger.

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : Fine.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Have you seen/heard anything from Annabelle since?

 **First Mate** : Just the once. Right after our conversation with Elias, went to tell her I wasn’t staying at Hilltop Road anymore.

 **First Mate** : Honestly, kind of wish I hadn’t.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Why?

 **First Mate** : Funny story, really.

 **First Mate** : Apparently getting accused of murder and then not paying your rent for three months makes your landlord mad at you for some reason.

 **First Mate** : I’m being evicted.

 **First Mate** : London real estate, am I right?

 **Nastya Rasputina** : You can stay with me if you need a place.

 **First Mate** : Thank you, but no.

 **First Mate** : I learned some things while I was gone. One of them was that there are avatars that will seek me out and try to hurt me. Apparently Gertrude had a habit of disrupting rituals with large explosions, and a lot of them want revenge and don’t care much that I’m not the Archivist they’re looking for. Staying with you, or anyone else, could put you in danger.

 **First Mate** : The only place to hide from an avatar is an area owned by another entity. 

**First Mate** : In short, I’m moving into the Archives.

 **Martin <3**: Are you sure? Living in the Archives isn’t as fun as it sounds.

 **First Mate** : Hah, true.

 **First Mate** : But... like it or not, The Eye is my entity. I have to believe it will at least offer me some protection.

 **First Mate** : We need to stop the Unknowing. Gertrude was working on a solution, but she didn’t get to finish. I’m going to try and figure out where she went next. For now, we need to do as much research into the Stranger/the Circus/the Unknowing as we can.

 **First Mate** : Tim, I know you’ve done a lot of individual research. You can tell us now, if you’d like, but if you need some time, take it.

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : I think I need some time.

 **First Mate** : Okay. Everyone, go home. In fact, don’t come back until Monday. It’s been a hell of a week.

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : What about Elias?

 **First Mate** : What about him?

 **First Mate** : You’re all *my* assistants, and I don’t think he’s really at the liberty to argue with me anymore.

**Martin <3** _to_ **Jonathan Sims**

 **Martin <3** _changed_ **Jonathan Sims** _name to_ **Jon <3**

 **Martin <3**: Hey, can I ask you about something?

 **Jon <3**: Yes, of course.

 **Martin <3**: Are you okay?

 **Jon <3**: Fine, why?

 **Martin <3**: Jon...

 **Jon <3**: Yes, alright.

 **Jon <3**: I’m not great.

 **Jon <3**: But it’s nothing you need to worry about.

 **Martin <3**: Sorry, have you met me?

 **Martin <3**: Jon, you said you were really depressed? And it seems like you’re kind of... I don’t know, giving in to the whole Archivist thing? I just want to make sure you’re really okay.

 **Jon <3**: Maybe not.

 **Jon <3**: But the “whole Archivist thing” is happening whether I like it or not. I’m going down, and the least I can do is keep from dragging you all down with me. 

**Jon <3**: As for the depression, well... I knew I shouldn’t have said anything about that. But it’s fine now.

 **Martin <3**: Jon...

 **Jon <3**: I’m serious.

 **Jon <3**: To be honest, most of that went away when I saw you again.

 **Martin <3**: Can I come over?

 **Martin <3**: Actually you know what nevermind sorry I shouldn’t have asked that I told you to get some sleep so I should leave you alone sorry again

 **Jon <3**: Of course you can.

 **Jon <3**: I’m probably not going to be much fun, I am really tired.

 **Martin <3**: ...do you want cuddles?

 **Jon <3**: Oh, Martin.

 **Jon <3**: That sounds wonderful.


	36. 30-50 Feral Avatars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mentions of guns
> 
> Thought I’d write some fluffy, calm-before-the-storm type stuff. It took FOREVER for some reason but here you go!

**Is It Still Confessional If You’re In A Cult?**

**Not Gunpowder Tim** _changed the chat name to_ **JON THIS IS A CALL OUT**

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : J O N

 **First Mate** : What did I do?

 **Martin <3**: He was with me all morning, what could he have done?

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : okay first of all that’s gay as fuck

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : SECONDLY 

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : HE DID THIS

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : _sent a screenshot_ (Part of a text conversation between Tim and Jon.

Tim: not to be an american or anything but I just think it would be a lot easier if we had guns

Tim: like big ones

Jon: what, for the 30-50 feral avatars?)

 **Ashes O’Reilly** : Oh Christ, I’m not giving ANY of you guns. Except maybe Sasha.

 **Ashes O’Reilly** : Also, what’s wrong with this?

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : JONATHAN “I DONT KEEP UP WITH POP CULTURE IM AN OLD MAN” SIMS, HEAD ARCHIVIST OF THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE, LONDON

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : QUOTED A MEME

 **The Aurora** : no way

 **The Aurora** : you photoshopped this

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : I DID NOT

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : THIS WAS ABOUT FIVE MINUTES AGO

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : IVE BEEN IN SHOCK

 **Martin <3**: I don’t know, Tim.

 **Martin <3**: We’re weighing the probability of you playing a joke with the probability of Jonathan “I Don’t Keep Up With Pop Culture I’m An Old Man” Sims, Head Archivist of The Magnus Institute, London quoting a meme

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I mean...

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : GUYS

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : would I lie about something so important?

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : something so groundbreaking?

 **Martin <3**: Yes

 **Ashes O’Reilly** : Probably, yes.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Yes.

 **The Aurora** : oh absolutely 

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : are you serious right now????????

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : well, you’re sure not

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : _sent a screenshot_ (A text conversation between Tim and Sasha.

Tim: not to be an american or anything but I just think it would be a lot easier if we had guns

Tim: like big ones

Sasha: what, for the 30-50 feral avatars?)

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : it’s not hard to fake that all you have to do is change someone’s chat name

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : ALSO Basira I am honored that you trust me with a gun but please don’t I’d go mad with power.

 **Ashes O’Reilly** : Understandable.

 **The Aurora** : Sasha-1, Tim-0

 **Nastya Rasputina** : I’m pretty sure Sasha’s number is a lot higher than that at this point

 **The Aurora** : true true

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : sasha you faked that!!

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : oof imagine

**permanently a disaster** _to_ **gertrude’s archivist**

 **permanently a disaster** : SASHA

 **permanently a disaster** : you bitch

 **permanently a disaster** : like not really I love you but

 **permanently a disaster** : WHAT DID HE OFFER YOU 

**permanently a disaster** : how could you turn against me so easily

 **gertrude’s archivist** : I have no idea what you’re talking about, Tim 

**gertrude’s archivist** : ;)

 **permanently a disaster** : you’re lucky you’re the love of my life otherwise I’d be so mad at you right now

 **gertrude’s archivist** : Am I really the love of your life?

 **permanently a disaster** : I mean yeah!

 **permanently a disaster** : but I also said that about a chicken sandwich once so don’t take it too seriously

 **gertrude’s archivist** : It was sweet for a minute there.

**Jon!** _to_ **Sasha!**

 **Jon!** : Pleasure doing business with you, as always. I’ll pay you on Monday.

 **Sasha!** : Hey I will take any opportunity to fuck with Tim.

 **Sasha!** : I still want the biscuits though.

 **Jon!** : Of course.

 **Sasha!** : Can I ask why you didn’t want anyone to know?

 **Jon!** : I have a reputation.

 **Sasha!** : What, of being a grumpy old man?

 **Jon!** : Exactly.


	37. Valentine’s Day!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Jon <3**: Can’t believe you really fancied me for that long and didn’t say anything.
> 
>  **Martin <3**: You’re my BOSS, Jon. We still thought we could get fired at that point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Injuries, kidnapping, reference to canon character death

**Jon <3** _to_ **Martin <3**

 **Jon <3**: Hello.

 **Martin <3**: Hi!

 **Jon <3**: Oh Christ I don’t know why this is difficult.

 **Jon <3**: I was going to call you because it’s serious but I don’t know if I can.

 **Martin <3**: Okay?

 **Jon <3**: Will you go on a proper date with me Saturday? For Valentine’s Day?

 **Jon <3**: I know it’s ridiculous and stereotypical but I kind of would like to.

 **Martin <3**: J E S U S

 **Martin <3**: I thought you were going to say you didn’t want to date anymore give me a sec

 **Jon <3**: No, I wouldn’t do that over text.

 **Martin <3**: I would love to go on a date with you

 **Jon <3**: Thank you.

 **Martin <3**: 🐀

 **Martin <3**: WAIT that’s the wrong emoji sorry

 **Martin <3**: 🥰

 **Jon <3**: Why are those two the ones you mix up?

 **Martin <3**: They’re both in my frequently used.

 **Jon <3**: Why is... you know what, I don’t want to know.

 **Jon <3**: Where do you want to go?

 **Martin <3**: Ummm I don’t know.

 **Jon <3**: If there’s somewhere you want and you’re scared to ask just ask me I’m going to say yes.

 **Jon <3**: Unless it’s Hungarian food.

 **Martin <3**: I’ve actually never had Hungarian.

 **Jon <3**: You’re not missing much.

 **Martin <3**: But actually, there’s this Italian place about five minutes from the Institute? Authentic, family owned. I’ve always wanted to take someone there.

 **Jon <3**: *me.

 **Martin <3**: okay okay yes I wanted to take you there.

 **Jon <3**: Can’t believe you really fancied me for that long and didn’t say anything.

 **Martin <3**: You’re my BOSS, Jon. We still thought we could get fired at that point.

 **Jon <3**: True.

 **Jon <3**: Can you send me the address?

 **Martin <3**: _sent a location_

 **Jon <3**: Thank you.

 **Jon <3**: Do you want to meet there at 13?

 **Martin <3**: Sure! Can’t wait!

 **Jon <3**: Me neither.

———————————————————

 **Martin <3**: Hey! I know you don’t usually text which is probably why you haven’t said anything today.

 **Martin <3**: But you didn’t answer my call?

 **Martin <3**: Just wanted to make sure we were still on for tomorrow.

____________________________________________

_12:45_

**Martin <3**: Hey you still haven’t answered? But I’m going to head down to the restaurant now. 

**Martin <3**: See you there!

 **Martin <3**: Unless you’re canceling.

 **Martin <3**: Which is fine! Just let me know please.

_13:00_

**Martin <3**: I’m here! Got us a table.

_13:30_

**Martin <3**: Are you on the way?

_13:47_

**Martin <3**: Jon, if you had to cancel I’m not mad. It’s okay. I just need to know so I know if I should go home or not.

_13:58_

**Martin <3**: You’re not answering your phone either.

 **Martin <3**: Please just respond. Starting to get worried.

 _14:23_

**Martin <3**: Any response, Jon.

_15:00_

**Martin <3**: I’m going home.

**JON THIS IS A CALL OUT**  
_10:32_

**First Mate** _changed the chat name to_ **stop yelling**

 **First Mate** : What day is it?

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : Monday?

 **First Mate** : Which Monday?

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : Hmm, I’m not sure.

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : I think it’s the one after the date you were supposed to have with Martin.

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : But maybe I’m mistaken.

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** _changed the chat name to_ **We’re Going To Yell At You All We Want Jon**

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : you better have a damn good reason for standing up my boy like that

 **First Mate** : How is “I was kidnapped”?

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : is this funny to you????

 **First Mate** : Absolutely not.

 **First Mate** : Martin, I’m so sorry. I really was looking forward to our date and I wish I could have told you I wasn’t going to be there.

 **The Aurora** : kidnapped? really? that’s his excuse?

 **First Mate** : You know how I said people were going to be hunting me because I was the Archivist?

 **First Mate** : _sent an image_ (It appears to be a picture of Jon’s wrist, with rope burns wrapped around it. The picture is blurry, like Jon’s hands were shaking)

 **First Mate** : I’m on my way back to the Institute.

 **First Mate** : I’m going to give you all the Sparknotes version of what happened just in case I pass out once I get there 

**First Mate** : Thursday I went on a walk and Breekon and Hope attacked me. Brought me to a wax museum. Met the woman planning The Unknowing, Nikola Orsinov. She tried to moisturize me. Kept knocking me out. Not sure how much time passed. Michael showed up and threatened to kill me. Michael was eaten. I got free.

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : Hi yes please define the phrase “Michael was eaten”

 **First Mate** : There’s no better way to describe it, really. He tried to open the door, and it kind of absorbed him? Then Helen Richardson showed up.

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : ....who?

 **First Mate** : The woman Michael ate

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : oh her

 **First Mate** : She kind of turned into the Distortion? Like Michael is gone and so the Distortion wears her face now.

 **Nastya Rasputina** : Well... shit.

 **The Aurora** : ^^^

**Jon <3** _to_ **Martin <3**

 **Jon <3**: Martin, I’m so sorry.

 **Martin <3**: Don’t be sorry!!!

 **Martin <3**: You were literally kidnapped Jon don’t be sorry that you missed a date

 **Martin <3**: Actually, I’m sorry. That I got mad at you.

 **Jon <3**: You were perfectly justified. You thought I was standing you up. You don’t need to be sorry either.

 **Martin <3**: Raincheck?

 **Jon <3**: Definitely <3

**Jon!** _to_ **Sasha!**

 **Jon!** : Sasha, I need your help. We can talk more once I get back to the Institute but I’d like to explain it now.

 **Sasha!** : Go ahead.

 **Jon!** : Okay, I’m operating on a lot of hypotheticals and half baked theories but bear with me.

 **Sasha!** : That’s how my brain runs most of the time, don’t worry.

 **Jon!** : First of all, Helen might not to kill you. She said that her desires were different then Michael’s, even if they’re the same thing. Michael wanted to kill me, but Helen didn’t? I’m not sure, need to look into it more, but thought I should let you know.

 **Sasha!** : Oh god. That would be... that would be great.

 **Jon!** : Secondly, how good are you at tracking people down?

 **Sasha!** : I can’t do that.

 **Jon!** : Asking as a friend, not your boss.

 **Sasha!** : Pretty good, why?

 **Jon!** : What if you had a face you were looking for but not a name?

 **Sasha!** : That’s substantially harder. Why are you asking?

 **Jon!** : You cannot tell anyone this, especially not Tim.

 **Sasha!** : christ this can’t be good.

 **Sasha!** : What is it?

 **Jon!** : Firstly, Orsinov used to be Grimaldi. She said she takes that form sometimes “for special occasions”. Then immediately asked me to help her. Told her where to stick it. That’s not important.

 **Jon!** : The first time I spoke to Nikola Orsinov, I spent a lot of the conversation trying to figure out why she looked familiar. Finally, she said something and it just clicked. She looked and sounded exactly like a friend of mine from uni, Jessica Law.

 **Jon!** : We know The Stranger steals skin, so my first thought was that this thing had killed her.

 **Jon!** : But then she asked me if I’d ever been in a band. Orsinov didn’t kill Jess. She was a FAN. 

**Jon!** : Of course she connected with the Toy Soldier, the character Jess played. They’re shockingly similar characters, though I’m not sure if that’s coincidental or intentional. And the shows attracted a lot of weird people, so it’s not like we would have noticed her.

 **Jon!** : And once I knew it wasn’t Jess, I could see the slight differences, the things Orsinov got wrong.

 **Jon!** : So if Orsinov is capable of mimicking the skin, even the voice, of other people without killing them with only minor flaws...

 **Sasha!** : Are you saying what I think you’re saying?

 **Jon!** : I’m saying that if Tim saw something that looked like his brother, but only saw it from a distance, maybe he didn’t see what he thought he saw.

 **Jon!** : Maybe Danny Stoker is still alive.


	38. Megablocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **this is tim** : what were you thinking sasha you could have died
> 
> **probably sasha** : yeah probably but hey I didn’t one gold star for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Canon-typical Tim anger, compulsions

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

**this is tim** : I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE AFRAID IN MY LIFE

**this is tim** : this is true fear. this is what fear feels like.

**this is tim** : so I’m sitting in the archives right? minding my own business. ready to go home.

**this is tim** : when daisy comes down the stairs

**this is tim** : which, by the way, is scary in its own right. 

**this is tim** : but THEN

**this is tim** : basira just goes 

**this is tim** : “Daisy, how does it feel to be the worst cop ever?”

**this is tim** : and daisy just FREEZES ENTIRELY

**this is tim** : thought I was about to witness a whole ass murder

**this is tim** : then daisy says, expression not changing AT ALL

**this is tim** : “shut up your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos”

**this is tim** : I wasnt even THINKING about the vine jesus christ I thought basira meant it

**this is tim** : then they both left together

**this is tim** : in short it was the scariest moment of my life

**Martin Blackwood** : haissjehussj

**Martin Blackwood** : I am So Sad I missed that 

**melanie king??** : ya apparently they do that with every police/cop related vine

**melanie king??** : Basira was telling me, I didn’t believe her.

**Basira Hussain** : I have better things to lie about.

**Basira Hussain** : It’s just for fun.

**melanie king??** : the idea that daisy or basira have any fun is astonishing to me

**Basira Hussain** : I have fun!

**Basira Hussain** : It’s just that you and I have different versions of fun.

**melanie king??** : clearly.

**melanie king??** : why was she even here? are you two having date night or something?

**Basira Hussain** : OH MY GOD

**Basira Hussain** : DAISY AND I ARE NOT DATING

**Basira Hussain** : so actually you know what I’m not answering that question because I am sick of you guy’s bullshit have a great night bye

**Basira Hussain** : Martin can stay and that’s it.

**Martin Blackwood** : aaa ta love

**Basira Hussain** : And Sasha, if she ever responds.

**probably sasha** : Sorry guys, I’m on a date.

**this is tim** : uhhh you’re where??

**this is tim** : wait actually no I don’t want to know.

**probably sasha** : waIT FUCK

**probably sasha** : It’s not that kind of date, Tim. I’m sorry. 

**this is tim** : I mean I kind of assumed that but it’s cool

**this is tim** : just know if you’re going to cheat i’d rather not know haha

**probably sasha** : I would never.

**melanie king??** : like with a statement giver? isn’t it a little late?

**melanie king??** : we got like forty minutes left 

**melanie king??** : Basira just left early because both Jon and Elias are scared of her “not” girlfriend

**Basira Hussain** : I’m going to ignore that.

**probably sasha** : no actually 

**probably sasha** : guys don’t get mad

**probably sasha** : but I’m with Helen

**this is tim** : DISTORTION HELEN?

**this is tim** : THE ONE THAT WANTS TO KILL YOU?

**probably sasha** : No! 

**probably sasha** : well yeah it’s The Distortion 

**probably sasha** : but Helen doesn’t want to kill me!

**Martin Blackwood** : Isn’t The Distortions big thing LYING??

**probably sasha** : yeah and??

**probably sasha** : she texted me and asked to meet up

**probably sasha** : she’s pretty chill

**this is tim** : what were you thinking sasha you could have died

**probably sasha** : yeah probably but hey I didn’t one gold star for me

**probably sasha** : Helen explained everything to me. She and Michael aren’t the same, even if they came from the same entity. And she does know what Michael wanted to do to me.

**probably sasha** : But she doesn’t want to kill me. And I trust her, kinda.

**probably sasha** : Talking to her kind of feels like talking with Elias? Like, I know that she’s not telling me everything. I know there are things she’s hiding, and that she’s probably trying to manipulate me. But she’s up front about her manipulations, her plans.

**probably sasha** : She doesn’t want the Unknowing to succeed, which means by the loosest standards, she’s on our side. And she doesn’t carry a personal vendetta against the Archives, like Michael did. She knows we tried to save her from Michael, when she came to give her statement. So by the loosest standards, we’re on her side.

**probably sasha** : She called me an ambassador. Like a go between for the Eye and the Spiral. We’ve got a very tentative truce at the moment. As long as we stay out of each other’s way, we don’t have any problems with each other.

**probably sasha** : Essentially, as long as we let her be she won’t have a reason to kill me. 

**probably sasha** : or any of us, for that matter.

**probably sasha** : on my way back now.

**melanie king??** : I mean...

**melanie king??** : I trust you Sasha. If you think it’s safe then yeah okay team Helen

**Basira Hussain** : Same here. Don’t trust that thing, but I trust you.

**Martin Blackwood** : I don’t know guys. I don’t think we should be listening to literal monsters.

**probably sasha** : She saved Jon’s life, Martin. 

**Martin Blackwood** : I know, but...

**Martin Blackwood** : If you’re sure.

**gertrude’s archivist** _to_ **permanently a disaster**

**gertrude’s archivist** : Tim?

**gertrude’s archivist** : I know you’re mad that I talked to Helen.

**permanently a disaster** : “mad” is an understatement 

**permanently a disaster** : you went to meet her? without telling anyone?

**gertrude’s archivist** : I told Jon.

**permanently a disaster** : that doesn’t count!!

**permanently a disaster** : why did you not tell me?

**gertrude’s archivist** : because I knew you were going to respond like this

**gertrude’s archivist** : I can’t have this conversation over text. I’m almost at the Institute. Can you come out and meet me? Please?

**permanently a disaster** : Fine.

**Jon!** _to_ **Sasha!**

**Jon!** : How was Helen?

**Sasha!** : We were right.

**Jon!** : About which part?

**Sasha!** : She doesn’t want to kill me, she wants the Unknowing stopped, and Tim is pissed at me.

**Sasha!** : He sees the whole me and The Distortion thing the same way he sees Danny and Nikola Orsinov. He’s going to be angry for a while, I think. Just angry about all of this. Especially with The Unknowing and The Stranger being our main focuses.

**Sasha!** : why the FUCK did I tell you that

**Jon!** : I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.

**Sasha!** : Is that getting stronger?

**Jon!** : I... I think so.

**Jon!** : I’ve never made someone talk over text like that.

**Sasha!** : Hm.

**Sasha!** : I don’t like keeping things from him, Jon.

**Sasha!** : From any of them.

**Jon!** : I know, I know.

**Jon!** : But we can’t tell Tim his brother is alive and be wrong.

**Sasha!** : Can’t you just like, know?

**Jon!** : It’s called a theory for a reason, Sasha.

**Sasha!** : No, I mean like Know. Like through spooky Eye magic

**Jon!** : Please don’t call it that.

**Jon!** : And I don’t know. I’m trying, I think? But I don’t even know how to try.

**Sasha!** : Right.

**Jon!** : And before you suggest it, I’m not asking Elias how to Know things.

**Sasha!** : Damn. But also, understandable.

**Jon!** : I think I have a new lead on how to stop The Unknowing, however. 

**Sasha!** : Okay?

**Jon!** : I’m following Gertrude’s trail. She was planning to stop it, but she died. So, now I have to go to China.

**Sasha!** : That seems... extreme? But okay, if you think that’s what’s next.

**Sasha!** : Jon? Can I ask you a weird personal question?

**Jon!** : I think that’s my job, Sasha. 

**Jon!** : But yes, go ahead.

**Sasha!** : So you’re part of the Eye, kind of. You’re an avatar. But you didn’t mean to become an avatar.

**Sasha!** : Did you...

**Sasha!** : I’m trying to figure out how to phrase this and not be rude

**Jon!** : Be rude, it’s alright.

**Sasha!** : Did you know? Before you found out? Like did you feel it or something?

**Jon!** : Kind of?

**Jon!** : I felt like someone was watching me when I recorded the statements. There was also this... calling, I guess. A pull towards the statements. The need to research, to read, to know.  
Looking back, that was The Eye.

**Sasha!** : Oh.

**Jon!** : Why do you ask?

**Jon!** : Wait, you don’t have to answer that.

**Sasha!** : I want to answer. I was going to tell you anyways because I don’t know what to do.

**Sasha!** : At almost the end of our conversation, Helen said that I was “marked with The Spiral”. I told her she was wrong, that I’ve got nothing to do with it. 

**Sasha!** : Then she asked me where we were. I told her we were exactly where she told me to meet her, at a cafe around the corner from the Institute. Then she asked me if I was sure, and that’s when I realized it.

**Sasha!** : There is no cafe there, Jon.

**Sasha!** : Everything I had seen, the staff, the other patrons, the goddamn tea I had. It was all fake. Once I realized she had tricked me, the illusion faded, and I was inside the Corridors.

**Sasha!** : Helen said that’s what the Corridors looked like to her, that she could make it look like she was anywhere she wanted to be, and that she couldn’t change what the Corridors looked like for anyone else. 

**Sasha!** : She also talked about the arrows. You remember, the ones I saw any time I was in the Corridors, the ones I followed to escape? She said that Michael didn’t do that. She said started to see them too, but only before she turned into The Distortion.

**Sasha!** : She said it would be quicker for me, because the Eye would make me see the truth. She sounded so excited, Jon. Called us sisters.

**Sasha!** : I think this is what Michael ment. He never said he would kill me, just that I would be his.

**Sasha!** : I think I’m turning into something that I don’t want to be.

**Sasha!** : What do I do?

**Sasha!** : Jon?

**Jon!** : I’m so sorry, Sasha.

**Sasha!** : What do I do??

**Jon!** : I don’t think there’s anything you can do.

**Jon!** : I don’t think there’s any way to stop it, once it starts.

**Sasha!** : I’m scared, Jon.

**Jon!** : Me too, Sasha.


	39. Never Be Creative Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **First Mate** : Imagine this being the first text you receive after a ten hour flight and realizing you need to pull an Elias Bouchard and divorce your husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mild homophobia, references to murder attempts, I might awaken some memories in some of you but other than that this ones pretty cute

**We’re Going To Yell At You All We Want Jon**

_10:34_

**Sasha Deserves Better** _changed the chat name to_ **I’m Sad And Gay (The Musical!)**

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : ...spring awakening?

**Sasha Deserves Better** : I was thinking Falsettos but sure

**Martin <3**: ew theater references

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : WHAT

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : YOU DONT LIKE THEATRE?????

**Martin <3**: No, never really cared for it.

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : HOW

**Sasha Deserves Better** : calm down Tim he’s a poetry gay not a theatre gay

**Martin <3**: ^^^

**First Mate** : Imagine this being the first text you receive after a ten hour flight and realizing you need to pull an Elias Bouchard and divorce your husband.

**Martin <3**: Well you said you didn’t “get” poetry so we’re even.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Jon! You’re back!

**First Mate** : Yes I am.

**Nastya Rasputina** : How was China?

**First Mate** : Increasingly unhelpful. 

**First Mate** : I too, am feeling sad and gay on this fine Wednesday morning.

**Nastya Rasputina** : it’s Thursday?

**First Mate** : fUck

**Ashes O’Reilly** : Okay can someone explain the divorce thing? This joke has been made multiple times and I still don’t get it.

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : OKAY

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : this was like at the beginning of us working at the archives, we were throwing a birthday party for jon

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : and at this point we don’t know each other well. sasha and I were friends obv, and we had worked with jon once or twice? but none of us knew martin and things were kind of off to a rocky start

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : so we’re pretty awkward around each other. and elias has just come down out of nowhere to eat the cake

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : so jon randomly says “your ring” and we’re all really confused?

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : then he goes, “sorry, elias, but were you aware that you’re not wearing your wedding ring? I just wanted to make sure you didn’t loose it”

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : and elias goes “oh, don’t worry archivist, I know it’s gone. I’ve just had another divorce”

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : AND HE SAID IT SO CASUALLY??

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : and he left like right after that so now the running joke is that elias has been through like thirty wives

**Ashes O’Reilly** : Fair point. Counterpoint- it’s the same person every time.

**Sasha Deserves Better** : HOLY SHIT

**Sasha Deserves Better** : I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT THINK OF THAT BUT THAT WOULD TIE INTO MY “ELIAS’ SUGAR DADDY” THEORY

**Nastya Rasputina** : sorry his WHAT

**Sasha Deserves Better** : OKAY SO

**Sasha Deserves Better** : I was poking around at Institute finances for *completely legal reasons*

**Sasha Deserves Better** : and this guy named Peter Lukas donated almost a million pounds with a note attached saying it was for “personal reasons”

**Ashes O’Reilly** : Things I didn’t need to know part seven thousand and three

**The Aurora** : you guys ever go into your bosses office with the full intention to murder him but he’s in the middle of a meeting so it’s awkward and all he does is attempt to fucking dress code you like you’re back in secondary then asks you to close the door behind you??

**Nastya Rasputina** : wow the archives really are wild aren’t they

**Ashes O’Reilly** : Melanie I thought we agreed to stop the attempts on Elias’ life.

**The Aurora** : no, we didn’t AGREE to anything. you told me to stop and I thought about it but then I remembered you’re not the boss of me.

**this is tim** : wait what did he do??

**The Aurora** : he was like “ohhh ms king I forgot that I called you up. we’ll have to reschedule your performance review. you can head back down to the archives. oh, and please do something about that hair. I know you’re used to following your own rules but it makes you look... unprofessional.”

**The Aurora** : but unprofessional is clearly a code word for gay and I am Not having it

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : yeah you should’ve stabbed him there

**The Aurora** : no no Daisy said to make sure there weren’t witnesses

**Ashes O’Reilly** : When the HELL did you speak to Daisy?

**The Aurora** : the other day she came to get you but you were in storage so she was waiting for you and i asked her how to get away with murder

**The Aurora** : she was very helpful

**Sasha Deserves Better** : well that’s vaguely terrifying 

**Nastya Rasputina** : Elias- “Your hair makes you look gay”

**Nastya Rasputina** : Melanie, stabbing him- “I use my hair to express myself”

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : OH MY GOD

**Sasha Deserves Better** : you just awakened memories I forgot I had

**First Mate** : What?

**The Aurora** : green is not a creative color

**First Mate** : What’s going on?

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : I might paint a picture of a clown

**Sasha Deserves Better** : woah there friend you might need to slow down!

**Ashes O’Reilly** : What is this?

**Martin <3**: I’m so confused?

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : jon are you coming back to the institute??

**First Mate** : Yes, I live there.

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : ew I forgot about that

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : but you need to hurry so that we can show you and martin and basira dhmis

**Ashes O’Reilly** : What is dhmis?

**Sasha Deserves Better** : Don’t Hug Me, I’m Scared. It’s a YouTube series

**Nastya Rasputina** : it’s like a children’s show

**First Mate** : Why are you all watching children’s shows?

**The Aurora** : oh, you’ll see.

_11:42_

**Ashes O’Reilly** : What, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, the fuck.

**Martin <3**: I... wow.

**Martin <3**: You guys said that was a kids show!

**Nastya Rasputina** : it is! technically!

**First Mate** : Well, let’s all agree to never be creative again.

**Jon <3** _to_ **Martin <3**

**Jon <3**: I missed you.

**Martin <3**: !!!

**Martin <3**: I missed you too.

**Jon <3**: China was not helpful, at all. The statement Gertrude read there wasn’t about The Unknowing, it seemed to be about a different failed ritual.

**Jon <3**: But it still brings us no closer to stopping The Unknowing.

**Jon <3**: All it did was take me away from you for a weekend and I missed you the entire time.

**Martin <3**: It’s okay, love. We’ll figure it out.

**Martin <3**: Do you know where Gertrude went next?

**Jon <3**: Yes. America.

**Martin <3**: Well, maybe that will be more helpful.

**Jon <3**: But I don’t want to go to America.

**Jon <3**: I’ll miss you.

**Martin <3**: I’ll miss you too.

**Martin <3**: But you’re staying here for a bit in between, right? We’ll have plenty of time to spend together.

**Martin <3**: But you said you had to go, to figure out what Gertrude was doing, to stop The Unknowing. And it’s not like I could come to America with you.

**Jon <3**: Yeah, I know.

**Jon <3**: Wait a second.

**Jon <3**: Why couldn’t you come with me?

**Martin <3**: I can’t afford to fly to America, Jon.

**Jon <3**: I can’t either!

**Jon <3**: I gave Elias this whole speech about following Gertrude’s path to stop The Unknowing and he gave me a card. The Institute paid for the trip to China, it’ll pay for America too.

**Martin <3**: I don’t think you should be using Institute funds to take me on holiday.

**Jon <3**: If I’ve been given free access to the cultish blood money, can’t I use it to bring my boyfriend on investigations?

**Martin <3**: ...

**Martin <3**: Did you mean to do that?

**Jon <3**: Make you blush? I can’t see you but I assume you are.

**Martin <3**: Well, *now* I am.

**Martin <3**: But you called me your boyfriend.

**Jon <3**: Yes?

**Martin <3**: You’ve never done that before.

**Jon <3**: Oh.

**Jon <3**: Well, definitely not the most romantic way it could have been done, but I’m not taking it back.

**Martin <3**: 🥰🥰🥰

**Jon <3**: So? Will you come with me?

**Martin <3**: If you’re sure you want me.

**Jon <3**: Of course.

**Jon <3**: I’m going to get some sleep now. Do you want to come in for cuddles?

**Martin <3**: Of course.


	40. Keys, Locks, Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **this is tim** : “he might just be paranoid” marto my man this is jon we’re talking about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Police brutality, canon-typical Tim anger, loss of humanity, references to canon character deaths, mentions of panic attacks

**The Distortion** _to_ **My Love (Sasha)**

 **The Distortion** : Hey there lovely! 

**The Distortion** : How are we doing today?

 **My Love (Sasha)** : please stop Helen you sound like a bad therapist

**The Distortion** : ḥ̶̼͉̦͚͖̟͓̦̱̌͑̋͑̈́͑̊̃̇̓͘̚͜ą̷̧̪̩̹̲͕͚̗̹͙͕͓̜͇͕̥͚̙̮̯̀̐̍̓͛̉̾̀͜ḣ̸̢̡̺͎̱͓̪̤̞̞͈̖̙͈͎͜͜ͅa̴̢̡͚̬͍̦̯͍̠͚̮̘̯̞͑̈͆̇̈́͌͜h̶̨̧̡̢̲̙̫̻̦̘̟̬̝̪͙̼̘͔̻͉̜́͜ą̷̢̭͉͕͔̠̯̔̉͒̐̓̚̚͝͝ͅh̷̨̧̧̛̛̥̮̯̫̩͎̭̬̺͕͉͆̄̆̄̿̓̓̇̾̉͂̋̏̊̚̕̚͠a

**The Distortion** : Okay that’s fair

 **My Love (Sasha)** : also, am I your sister or your love? 

**My Love (Sasha)** : and if you say both I WILL end you

 **The Distortion** : It doesn’t matter, does it?

 **The Distortion** : The point is that I’ve been thinking about your little predicament. 

**My Love (Sasha)** : Which one?

 **The Distortion** : Again, it doesn’t matter. They’re all intertwined. All of your problems have a root, a common denominator.

 **My Love (Sasha)** : And what would that be?

 **The Distortion** : You!

 **The Distortion** : It’s all so much easier when you just let it go. Tops don’t spin if you don’t release them.

 **My Love (Sasha)** : Is there a point to this conversation? I’ve got more important things to be doing right now.

 **The Distortion** : The point is I’ve found your little key. All I need you to do is bring the lock, make sure he’s really yours.

 **My Love (Sasha)** : I still don’t know what you’re trying to-

 **My Love (Sasha)** : OH GOD

 **My Love (Sasha)** : Where do I go?

 **The Distortion** : Oh, I’m not picking it up for you.

 **The Distortion** : _sent a location_

 **The Distortion** : Have fun :3

**Sexiest Archive Assistants Ever**

**melanie king??** : *obligatory question about america*

 **Martin Blackwood** : It’s going okay?

 **Martin Blackwood** : We landed in Chicago, but the place Gertrude (and Gerry) stayed was for short term rentals, so there were probably a dozen people through there between us and them. The guy didn’t keep any of the stuff, for obvious reasons. 

**Martin Blackwood** : We’re going to head towards Pittsburgh, since that’s where Gerry died, before we go to The Usher Foundation in DC. Jon thinks we’re being followed, but I didn’t see anyone, so he might just be paranoid.

 **this is tim** : “he might just be paranoid” marto my man this is jon we’re talking about

 **melanie king??** : ^^^

 **Basira Hussain** : ^^^

 **probably sasha** : idk. Jon is better at Seeing things than us. stay safe

 **this is tim** : sasha! where’d you go?

 **probably sasha** : looking into a statement. 

**melanie king??** : I thought we were only researching the Unknowing?

 **melanie king??** : like if not fine but let me know so that when I don’t do my work it’s intentional 

**probably sasha** : call it a hunch

 **probably sasha** : if I’m wrong about this I’ll be back in twenty minutes

 **this is tim** : and if you’re right?

 **probably sasha** : I don’t want to think about the implications of me being right in this scenario.

 **melanie king??** : ooh vaguely ominous

 **Basira Hussain** : What about you, Melanie? Where did you go?

 **melanie king??** : uhh take a wild guess

 **Basira Hussain** : Can someone remind me to tell Daisy to stop helping Melanie?

 **melanie king??** : she’s actually been not helpful recently

 **Basira Hussain** : How so?

 **melanie king??** : she wouldn’t give me a gun :(((

 **this is tim** : jesus you guys leaving the archives means you didn’t get to see the look on basira’s face just then and let me tell you it was beautiful 

**Martin Blackwood** : You guys know the feeling you get when you’re breaking exactly zero laws while walking by a police officer?

 **probably sasha** : yeah?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Great!

 **Martin Blackwood** : Now imagine that cop has followed you from the airport all the way to the bus station.

 **this is tim** : oh wait are you actually being followed?

 **Martin Blackwood** : I don’t know what scares me more: being actively followed; or Jon telling me it’s not a big deal because he’s used to being followed.

 **Basira Hussain** : Are you... sure you’re not breaking any laws?

 **this is tim** : cop goggles basira

 **Basira Hussain** : Right, sorry.

 **melanie king??** : um what was that?

 **this is tim** : she usually takes the cops side in the story on habit so I’m helping point out when she does because acab

 **Basira Hussain** : ^^^

 **Martin Blackwood** : We are definitely not breaking any laws.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Unless we are.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Yep we’re about to be arrested in America this is how my life ends this is the saddest end I could possibly have.

 **this is tim** : breathe martin

 **probably sasha** : breathe Martin

 **Basira Hussain** : Breathe, Martin.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Okay okay I am breathing.

 **Martin Blackwood** : You know you have a problem when you get three texts saying the same thing and at the same time your boyfriend sitting next to you says the same thing

 **probably sasha** : well oxygen is important bitch drink up

 **this is tim** : ...what the fuck?

 **probably sasha** : sorry the longer I spend with Helen the stranger my sentences become.

 **probably sasha** : very Alice In Wonderland-esq

 **this is tim** : thought you were looking into a statement

 **probably sasha** : I am! Helen is just also here.

 **this is tim** : :/

 **probably sasha** : Tim I promise you can lecture me later if I’m right about this it’ll change everything and I needed backup but Jon’s in America

 **this is tim** : and you didn’t ask me why?

 **probably sasha** : It doesn’t concern you. Or it concerns you too much. Or it concerns you too little to be noted.

 **this is tim** : you’re not making any sense!

 **probably sasha** : it’ll all be fixed soon, I promise.

_____________________

 **Martin Blackwood** : Update from America brought to you by one (1) anxious person approximately .5 seconds away from a panic attack

 **Martin Blackwood** : We got to Pittsburgh but the hospital wasn’t any help. As far as anyone knows, Gerry Keay is dead.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Sasha, I’m sorry. I know the two of you were... close? at least for a short time? I don’t know. Jon hoped he’d be able to help us but he seems to be actually dead, not just Leitner “dead”.

 **Martin Blackwood** : We looked into Gertrude’s arrest. She ended up being released without being charged, probably talked her way out of it. The officer mentioned something about a weird book she had, presumably a Leitner, but she left it behind. Think the same officer from Chicago was there at the station, but I’m probably just paranoid.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Jon’s sick. He’s powering through it as best he can but it’s getting worse. He’s burning up, almost passed out a second ago while trying to stand up, and didn’t fight when I made him lay down. 

**Martin Blackwood** : We got a call from the front desk. Someone sent a letter for us. I haven’t gone down to get it, but I already can guess who it’s from. I don’t know what Elias wants from Jon, but I guess we’ll see in a bit.

 **this is tim** : Update from the better side of the pond brought to you by one (1) pissed off archive assistant

 **this is tim** : sasha has been gone for three days. she texts me so she’s not dead but won’t tell me where she is or what she’s doing 

**this is tim** : in short, she’s a bitch.

 **this is tim** : melanie has decided to stop all attempts at murdering elias for reasons she won’t share with anyone

 **this is tim** : in short, she’s a bitch.

 **this is tim** : and basira is doing absolutely nothing so she’s a bitch just on principle 

**this is tim** : as for your fucking boyfriend being sick? well apparently spending time away from the institute hurts physically. tried to quit by leaving completely. maybe that’s it.

 **this is tim** : have a nice fucking holiday martin 

____________________

 **Martin Blackwood** : We’re heading back. 

**probably sasha** : yay

 **probably sasha** : is Jon still sick?

 **Martin Blackwood** : No.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Elias sent over a statement. It turns out he’s physically dependent on them now.

 **this is tim** : wow jon’s a monster what a shock who could have guessed

 **Martin Blackwood** : Fuck off, Tim.

 **melanie king??** : when are you coming back I need to talk to Jon

 **this is tim** : when did everyone decide to like to jon all of a sudden?

 **Martin Blackwood** : We should be back within a day or so.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Wait, no, change of plans. We’re being kidnapped.

 **Basira Hussain** : ...Is this an attempt at a joke?

 **Martin Blackwood** : No we’re really being kidnapped by Julia Montauk.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Huh. Guess I can scratch this off the bucket list.

 **melanie king??** : Julia Montauk? the serial killers daughter?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Yes but she doesn’t like being called that.

 **probably sasha** : uhh is it stupid to say stay safe?

 **Martin Blackwood** : Probably? But thanks anyways

 **Martin Blackwood** : Shit.

 **probably sasha** : Martin??

 **melanie king??** : ????

 **Basira Hussain** : What’s happening?

 **this is tim** : ...

————————————-

 **Martin Blackwood** : _sent a video_

(The camera focuses on what, at first, appears to be a black wall. An image flickers in front of the wall. When it is clearest, it appears to be a pale, thin man with long black hair and a trench coat. Sitting on the floor next to the image, with a thick book in his lap, is Jon.

“Sorry, can you say that again?” Martin asks from behind the camera.

“Martin-“ Jon starts to say, but he’s cut off.

“I thought he was the Archivist,” Gerry says. “Why are you recording?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just... it’s for Sasha,” Martin says.

Gerry’s face seems to soften, just a bit, though it’s hard to tell with the image flickering like that. “Who are you, then? Her boyfriend?”

“Mine, actually,” Jon snaps. Gerry laughs.

“But of course. Why else would you bring someone so criminally incompetent to face Hunters?”

“He is _not_ incompetent,” Jon turns to glare at Gerry, who’s still staring at the camera.

“Also, we didn’t mean to meet Julia and Trevor. We were kind of kidnapped,” Martin said. “Now can you repeat what you said, please? About Gertrude, and Sasha?”

Gerry laughed again, a humorless laugh. “Oh, you’re good. Better than you know, I think.”

“What does that mean?” Martin asks.

“You’ll find out soon enough, I’m sure. I’ll repeat myself, for Sasha’s sake, though I really don’t know what the quality of the video will be, as conversation is being captured digitally. What I said, Sasha, was that I think Gertrude wanted you to be the Archivist because she saw a lot of herself in you. Then again, it could have been a completely different reason. Who knows, this is Gertrude we’re talking about.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Gerry, what-“ Jon’s voice is drowned out by a wave of static, as the video suddenly cuts out.)

**probably sasha** : oh my god oh my god oh my god

 **probably sasha** : I’m going to cry

 **probably sasha** : that’s him that’s Gerry that’s him

 **probably sasha** : how is he there???

 **Martin Blackwood** : Essentially Gertrude tied his soul to a Leitner.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Oh, also, we’ve got a complete list of entities now. Gerry also said Gertrude figures out how to stop The Unknowing. She didn’t tell him, but she left it in a storage unit and Jon has apparently found the key. 

**probably sasha** : are you guys by chance bringing Gerry back with you?

 **Martin Blackwood** : No. Part of the deal to get him to talk to us was for us to burn his page of the Leitner and let him move on.

 **probably sasha** : alright, that makes sense. I don’t like it but he should be able to move on.

 **Martin Blackwood** : He says goodbye.

 **probably sasha** : Thank you. Tell him I said goodbye too.

 **Martin Blackwood** : Julia and Trevor are letting us go. We’ll be home in a few hours.

**Sasha** _to_ **Tim**

 **Sasha** : _sent a location_

 **Sasha** : Can you meet me? Please. It’s like ten minutes from the Institute.

 **Tim** : No.

 **Sasha** : Look I know you’re mad. Remember, I promised you could lecture me? 

**Sasha** : I also promised that if I was right, this would fix a lot of things?

 **Sasha** : Well, I was right!

 **Sasha** : Just please come here, I need to talk to you.

 **Tim** : No. No, I don’t want to talk to you Sasha.

 **Tim** : You disappear for days, refuse to tell anyone what’s going on, admit to working with Helen.

 **Tim** : So no I don’t really want to see you now. Trying my best not to lose my absolute shit on you so maybe you should just leave me alone for both our sakes.

 **Sasha** : Fuck. I didn’t want to have to do this over text.

 **Sasha** : But fine, I will.

 **Sasha** : You want to know what I’ve been doing the last few days?

 **Sasha** : Ask him.

 **Sasha** _added_ **Danny** _to the chat_

 **Danny** : Hey.

 **Danny** : Guess I have a lot of explaining to do.


	41. It’s Called A Group Chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Amnesia, presumed character death, head trauma, canon-typical Stranger encounter

**Sasha** _changed the chat name to_ _Well, This Is Awkward_

**Danny** : you can say that again.

**Danny** : Tim I gotta say I’ve got no clue how you got Sasha to go out with you she’s way out of your league man

**Danny** : I mean, unless your league has drastically changed in the last four years.

**Sasha** : I mean, I haven’t known him the whole time but not really.

**Tim** : What the fuck is this?

**Danny** : this is called a text conversation

**Danny** : No, sorry. This is serious. I’m sure you’ve got questions, go ahead and ask.

**Tim** : Sasha, I can’t believe you.

**Sasha** : I know. I’m great, right?

**Tim** : No.

**Tim** : This isn’t funny. Sasha this isn’t funny at all.

**Tim** : I can deal with a lot of shit but this is too far.

**Tim** : Is this what you’re using Helen for? Pretending to be my dead brother? That’s sick. That’s fucking sick.

**Tim** : I can’t do this anymore.

**Tim** _left the chat_

**Danny** _added_ **Tim** _to the chat_

**Danny** : Tim, listen, please!

**Danny** : It’s me! It’s really me!

**Danny** : I know it’s been a long time I know you’ve probably given up all hope by now but I promise you it’s me

**Danny** : Remember the day you came out? When the two of us were kayaking out on the lake and you started crying and I told you that I always wanted a brother and then you started crying harder and I didn’t know how to handle watching you cry so I flipped over your kayak and you almost drowned?

**Danny** : Remember that time when I was in third year when I cried because someone stole my lunch so you beat them up and got suspended for beating up a eight year old?

**Danny** : Remember the night I left when I stayed at your house and you just out of nowhere asked me not to go because you had a bad feeling about it and I told you to stay out of my business?

**Danny** : And god you were right. God you were so right.

**Danny** : Sasha told me what you saw, and I’m so, so sorry.

**Danny** : I wish I could have found you sooner, wish I could have saved you from years of pain

**Danny** : I know you thought you had to protect me, and I know this can’t have been easy for you and I’m so sorry

**Danny** : Can you please just come here because I missed you and I want to hug you

**Tim** : I want to believe you. But I can’t.

**Tim** : I watched you die

**Danny** : You didn’t. 

**Danny** : Sasha kind of explained it to me. Nikola can not only steal skin, but she can mimic it as well. Essentially she pretended to be me to trick you into coming.

**Danny** : I don’t think she was targeting you specifically, especially since I don’t know how she would have known about you, but I mean... watching anyone get skinned alive is traumatic. It just sucked more for you. 

**Tim** : What really happened, then?

**Tim** : What happened to you?

**Danny** : Maybe you should come here, talk in person?

**Tim** : I already said no.

**Danny** : Right, yeah.

**Danny** : Okay, so I went down to the opera house. Snuck in, looked around a bit, yada yada. Nothing real important happened until later, when I got down to the main stage area. There was this whole crowd of not-quite-people sitting in the seats, staring at the stage. I honestly thought they were mannequins when I first saw them. Then again, knowing what I know now, they probably were. But one of them yelled at me to take my seat, so I just kind of... sat down in an empty chair.

**Danny** : I didn’t know what to do. I was trespassing, and these people(?) weren’t supposed to be here either. I’d never experienced anything like this. So I just did as I was told.

**Danny** : A spotlight beamed down onto the stage, and I saw something on the stage. Grimaldi, or Nikola, or whatever that thing calls itself. It wasn’t scary though, at least not at first. It started dancing, like one of those puppets with the strings? What are those called?

**Danny** : Marionette. It looked like a marionette.

**Danny** : I was transfixed. I wasn’t even sure what I was seeing, if I was hallucinating somehow. I watched this dance for what could have been five minutes or five hours, before it noticed me. It dropped limp, like all it’s strings had been cut, and laid there for a minute.

**Danny** : I was so memorized by the dance that I actually stood up and started going TOWARDS it, to make sure it was okay I guess. I kind of snapped out of it after a second, and I think that saved my life.

**Danny** : I started to back away from the stage. The thing noticed somehow, and slowly rose back up, and pointed at me. Then, all of the audience members stood up in unison, and turned to look at me.

**Danny** : I ran. I ran as fast as could back towards where I came in. But the tunnel wasn’t exactly the best for running in. I tripped, hit my head against the wall.

**Danny** : I woke up in this tiny port town up north seven months later with “sudden-onset retrograde amnesia caused by blunt trauma”. Essentially I hit my head really hard and forgot everything. Who I was, what had happened, you. This older couple found me in their backyard, screaming about clowns.

**Danny** : It was a weird experience, forgetting everything and then subsequently remembering everything over the course of the next few years. The couple that found me ended up taking me in, and they were better parents then ours were.

**Danny** : Well actually, Angela and Tom are still alive. That made it seem like they’re dead. I still see them for Sunday dinner.

**Danny** : Sorry, that’s not important.

**Danny** : The important thing is that about a year ago, I finally felt like I had a grasp on who I was. I’d moved out of Angela and Tom’s place, was working in the local shop. I had most of my memories back, though I still kept the name that Angela and Tom gave me because I honestly wasn’t sure which one of us was supposed to be Danny. You were such a big part of my life, more than I would have realized before, that sometimes I got us mixed up. Besides, I decided that whoever I was before was gone. I was a new person, and I liked my life. I missed you, but I figured you’d moved on.

**Danny** : But I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d seen. Hard to not think about it, when you see it in your nightmares every night.

**Danny** : I tried to look into Grimaldi, the circus, the theatre, everything I could, but I just wasn’t finding the answers. I even tried to go back to London to investigate, but the crowds... I haven’t been able to be in a group of people larger than about ten without having a panic attack.

**Danny** : About a week ago, this weird woman came up to the counter when I was working. She didn’t have anything to buy. She just stared at me. I asked her if I could help her, and she didn’t say anything for a long time. I was starting to panic when she suddenly told me that I looked like my brother.

**Danny** : I tried telling her I didn’t have a brother, but she just laughed. Her laugh was so weird, like it hurt to listen to. She told me she knew I was Danny Stoker, that I couldn’t hide in the little town forever.

**Danny** : Initially I freaked out, thinking she was with the Circus, but that just didn’t seem right. I knew, somehow, that she wasn’t human, and that she could hurt me. But I also knew she wouldn’t.

**Danny** : She told me that someone called Sasha would be here within a day or so, and immediately went into a storage room without another word. I tried to chase after her, mainly because she walked into the staff only zone, but somehow the door she went through was gone. Talk about a dramatic exit, am I right?

**Danny** : But that woman, who I now know as Helen, was right. Sasha was there the next day. She told me about everything: the entities; the Magnus Institute; The Unknowing. 

**Danny** : And, of course, about you.

**Danny** : It took some convincing to get me down here. I still can’t be around crowds, but this place is quiet enough.

**Sasha** : We tried to stay out of the central-ist part of central London.

**Danny** : Which I’m grateful for.

**Danny** : But it’d suck if I came all the way down here and you didn’t say hi.

**Tim** : I...

**Tim** : I’m bringing a friend of mine with me. If you’re actually some fucking monster wearing his face again, she won’t hesitate to stab you.

**Danny** : Whatever makes you feel more comfortable.

**Danny** : I’ve missed you, Tim.

**tim tim tim** to 🔪 

**tim tim tim** : melanie will you come somewhere with me

🔪: depends. where are we going?

**tim tim tim** : well

**tim tim tim** : either to see my brother who I thought was dead or to see a monster who’s pretending to be my brother who I thought was dead

🔪: what exactly do you want me to do?

**tim tim tim** : if I were any less sure that it was actually him, I’d be asking daisy

🔪: okay then give me five minutes

**Daisy 🌼** _to_ **Basira 🏵**

**Daisy 🌼** : wanna do something

**Basira 🏵** : Is that a request or a statement?

**Daisy 🌼** : yes.

**Daisy 🌼** : I’m going away for a few days.

**Basira 🏵** : Oh.

**Daisy 🌼** : yeah.

**Basira 🏵** : I can head over now. It’s early but everyone else is gone and I’m not about to sit in the Archives alone.

**Basira 🏵** : Anything in particular we’re doing?

**Basira 🏵** : Because the last three times we did “something”, I spent the whole time reading and you spent the whole time staring at me.

**Daisy 🌼** : I wasn’t staring at you,

**Basira 🏵** : I’ve gotten used to the feeling of something watching me. But it feels different when it’s a person. You’re not that subtle. Shockingly.

**Daisy 🌼** : hm.

**Daisy 🌼** : and what if all I want to do is stare at you while you read for four hours?

**Basira 🏵** : Can we get food? I’m starving

**Daisy 🌼** : of course. usual?

**Basira 🏵** : Please.

**Basira 🏵** : Melanie called you my girlfriend again

**Daisy 🌼** : ah fuck

**Daisy 🌼** : why does she think we’re dating 

**Basira 🏵** : I mean I did just agree to let you stare at me for four hours, and then I said I wanted food and you knew exactly what I wanted and from where

**Daisy 🌼** : yeah okay maybe we’re a little gay

**Basira 🏵** : There’s also that time when Elias called me the only person you care about in front of everyone. 

**Daisy 🌼** : oh

**Daisy 🌼** : you remember that

**Basira 🏵** : Not really something you’d forget.

**Daisy 🌼** : guess so.

**Basira 🏵** : God I hate texting you.

**Daisy 🌼** : uh okay then

**Basira 🏵** : No, I just meant I can’t read your tone or anything.

**Basira 🏵** : I can’t tell if you’re mad or upset or neither

**Daisy 🌼** : neither can I.

**Daisy 🌼** : fuck. I’m just going to say it.

**Daisy 🌼** : I never know what I’m feeling. Not anymore at least. All I am is violent and angry 

**Daisy 🌼** : except when I’m with you. you make me feel.

**Daisy 🌼** : emotions I don’t know the names for because all I’m supposed to be is violent and angry

**Daisy 🌼** : Basira, are we in love?

**Daisy 🌼** : Can you tell me?

**Daisy 🌼** : Because I can’t figure it out.

**Basira 🏵** : I don’t know either.

**Daisy 🌼** : Great. 

**Daisy 🌼** : you coming over or what

**Basira 🏵** : Daisy...

**Basira 🏵** : Five minutes.

**Daisy 🌼** : 10-4


	42. Jon Is Needed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Guilt, canon-typical entity dependance, compulsions
> 
> Sorry this took so long! It turns out my college audition is due on November 1rst, and so I’ve been stressing about that. These next few chapters will probably come out a bit slower, at least until my audition is done.

**Basira Hussain** _to_ **Jonathan Sims**

**Basira Hussain** : Jon I need your help.

**Jonathan Sims** : What is it?

**Basira Hussain** : Is there a way to change avatars back? To make their entities let go or whatever?

**Jonathan Sims** : If there was, I wouldn’t be the Archivist anymore.

**Basira Hussain** : So, no?

**Jonathan Sims** : Not one that I know of.

**Jonathan Sims** : I have been looking into it, but there’s nothing. Most avatars don’t want to change back anyways.

**Jonathan Sims** : But why do you want to know? You’re not an avatar.

**Basira Hussain** : Daisy.

**Jonathan Sims** : Oh.

**Basira Hussain** : Thanks anyways.

**Basira Hussain** : If I find something, I’ll tell you.

**Jonathan Sims** : Thank you.

**Melanie King** _to_ **Jonathan Sims**

**Melanie King** : I need to talk to you.

**Jonathan Sims** : ...Okay?

**Melanie King** : It’s about Elias.

**Melanie King** : He can do this thing where he forces you to know things.

**Melanie King** : You see it like you were there, like you were the one experiencing it.

**Melanie King** : Just thought you should know.

**Jonathan Sims** : How do you know this?

**Melanie King** : Because he did it to me. Made me watch my dad get killed by the Corruption. Said it was punishment for trying to kill him all those times and said if I tried again he’d show me something worse.

**Melanie King** : Jesus fucking Christ Jon

**Jonathan Sims** : Look, do you know how hard it is to have a conversation without asking any questions?

**Melanie King** : No, and I don’t care.

**Jonathan Sims** : I’m sorry that happened to you, Melanie.

**Melanie King** : Yeah, whatever.

**Jonathan Sims** : I’ll let the others know. I’ll keep you out of it, if you’d like.

**Melanie King** : Please do.

**Jonathan Sims** : While I have you here...

**Melanie King** : I’m not telling you what happened in India.

**Jonathan Sims** : Ever?

**Melanie King** : Absolutely not.

**Jonathan Sims** : Alright then.

**Nastya Rasputina** _to_ **Jonny D’Ville**

**Nastya Rasputina** : Hey can I ask you a question?

**Jonny D’Ville** : Sure?

**Nastya Rasputina** : have you noticed anything weird about Melanie?

**Jonny D’Ville** : ...Weirder than normal?

**Nastya Rasputina** : be nice

**Nastya Rasputina** : I mean does she seem angrier than usual?

**Jonny D’Ville** : I’m really not the person to ask. She’s always angry at me. 

**Jonny D’Ville** : Why do you ask?

**Nastya Rasputina** : I don’t know, she’s just... different, somehow.

**Nastya Rasputina** : I’ll check with Tim and Basira, they talk to her more than you do.

**Jonny D’Ville** : Good idea.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Are you still coming over Saturday?

**Jonny D’Ville** : Yes.

**Nastya Rasputina** : Alrighty, love you hun

**Jonny D’Ville** : ...Requited.

**Nastya Rasputina** : ❤️❤️❤️

**Sasha!** _to_ **Jon!** : 

**Sasha!** : I need you

**Jon!** : Wow I’m popular today

**Jon!** : And what can I help you with, Sasha?

**Sasha!** : I d̴̜͖̙̫͍͒̈̔̕o̸̡̢̰͕͑́͑n̷͎͈̈̅͐͠͠͝’̷̢̳̖̪̝̔̋̂͜t̷͇͈̙̻͕̦͋̀͐̆̌͒ know

**Sasha!** : not sure if there’s   
a̵̧̧̘̝̮͑̒̒n̷͓̱̓͒̅͂́̀y̷̡̬͆̓̎ṭ̷̈̕h̴͖͕̍̀̿̔͂ì̸̭̤͛ň̷̜ͅg̴̠̟̈́ 

**Sasha!** : you can do to fix it but this k̴̝̆̈ẽ̴̞̭̖ȩ̷̱̥͒ͅp̵̭̺͓̑͜s̴̻̬̯͍̠̣͌͐ happening

**Jon!** : Jesus

**Sasha!** : I asked T̷͖̗͐̎H̴̰̟̺̀É̵͔̦̪͖̳͚̾̂̈́͝ D̶̞̗̓͑̊͆͘͘Ḯ̷͕̮̙͝S̶̤͖̱̖̰̣̋̀T̵̹̲̱̭̮͌̇̍̀̈̌Ȍ̸͇̏̋̎̿͠R̷̨̜̩̋Ț̶̢̩̽̽ͅĬ̸̡̤̹̞̐Ǫ̸̛̦̜̻͒̑̆̄̕N̷̘̹͎̄

**Sasha!** : for help finding D̷͖̣̊͛̃̐ā̶̡͓͜n̴̻͌͂̂̚į̷̛̳͔̠̦̼̏́̏̋e̸̞̭͖͎͊͜ḽ̴̩̯̣̏ ̷̦͚̐̔̈́̋̆J̶̯̓ͅą̸̛͖͙̫̜̾̕ͅm̵̯̰̫̃̈́͘ė̸̟̮̝̔ŝ̸̹̗̘̭͕͐ ̵̳͗̄̉̑̍̚S̷̘̜͙̦̪̈́̅t̶̖̙̦͚̝̯̓̄͆o̶͈̳͓̥̎̐̔̔ͅk̸̢͕͔͈̺̲̊e̴̘̬̣̼͖̯͊ŕ̷̺ 

**Sasha!** : and now my phone is acting up and and I keep seeing these flashes ò̸͈̩̳̖͎̗̅͝f̵͇͉̯̗͈̓ colors in my vision 

**Sasha!** : feels like a bad trip or something I’m s̶̟͕̜̜͊ṍ̵̧̮̤͈̻̙́ disoriented and my head hurts

**Sasha!** : I’d ask Ţ̴̲̖̰̬̌͐̕ī̸͉̳̰̜͕́̓m̷̛͚̣̜̀̓̽̃̇ò̷̹͓͓̣̻̳̓͑ṯ̵̣̣̮̅͌̓͑͝h̷̪̹͈͖̓̇̐̈́̎ÿ̷͎̠̠́̑̏̾͊ ̸̥͔̀̄̑̇͝D̵͍͔̣̗͊́̾̄͒a̵̱͇͌̀̈̿̏v̴̦̯̠̰̙̟͛͋̌̇i̴̢̛̹̗̥͒̉̃͊͘d̵̛̺̯͛̃̈ ̷͚͑Ŝ̸̡̞͍̩̐͜͜t̸̤̞̦͘o̸͍̣̼̮̠̓͝k̷̢̜̰̂͘e̴͇͍̊̾͑͠͠r̴̡͎̟̩̺̰̊̂̎ 

**Sasha!** : but he and D̶̬̘̩̔̆̎͝å̸̡̝͇̳̤͑̅ņ̸͓̯̎͗̑͌i̸̢̮̠̣̣̠̅̊̃͒ȩ̸̤̙̬̲́l̶̟̂̋̐͋̏̕͜ ̶̖̼̩͙̰͙̉J̵̡̨̬̪̟͌a̵͚̣̲̣͂͌̿͋m̶̨̻͝ẹ̵͖̝̽́̅̇͐͌s̶̞̲͍̱̫̺̿ ̷̢̛̩̺͕̂͛̈́̽͆Ş̴͍͉͓̂̈́̾͜͠ț̸̡̣̱̲̣̿͒͝ǒ̵͈͉k̷̡̮̠̯̬̽͋͆͜ë̶̝́r̸̢̦͋̾͜͠͝

**Sasha!** : have been spending time together catching up

**Jon!** : What do you want me to do?

**Sasha!** : m̸̠͍͓͇͎͒̀̀̏̎̊͂̚͝ă̵̢̡̡̫͓̩̣͖̱͔̯̓͗̍̆̓̄̉̑͆̋͜͝ͅk̶̬͓̖͙͖̞̮͓͉̭̐̎̏ȩ̴̦̼͚̖̼̩͎̫͙̍̇͂͊͒̏̓ ̶̡̨̰͓̬͉̹̳̩͔̿̐͒̎̏̚̚i̴̮̥͛t̴̢̟̠̖̞͔̟̂̃̌̈́͐̍̒̈́́̑̌̐͘͝ͅ ̴͖͍͊̌s̷̛̪͓̭̀̌͛͗̽̀ţ̴͔̻̯̓̎ơ̵̡̢̡̤̰̫̩̫̝͕̔̀̉̈́͊̾͛̈́̍̏͑̕͝͝p̶̧̮͈̺̮̾͗̍̊͗̒̌̊̾̕̕͜

**Jon!** : I don’t know how

**Sasha!** : p̴̛̩̺͍̰̘̰̲̈́͋̒̽̋̾̍̃͛̊͝͠l̵̛̙̝̒͌̐̏̋̑̅̑̓̇̆̚͘͝e̷̫̣̣̮̱͉̠͉͕̤̦̭͍̓̎̌̚ă̴̢̡͓̭͓͓͙͔͍̍̂̅s̶͙̞̤̣̄́͠ȩ̵̧̯̤̪̘̳̪̦͖̪̄

**Jon!** : Sasha, when’s the last time you were in the Corridors?

**Sasha!** : ǎ̵̛̬̏̀̒̔͛̋̅̀̐̈́͝͝b̷̘̭͉̻̮̜̫̤̣͓̝̼͊̿͠ǭ̷̧̛͖̦͕̮̬͓̰̔̅̎̍̈́̍͠ư̶̡̝̱̲͔̞͕̫̌̄̊̆̋͐̍͆̓̓͗̂t̸̞̠͚̉̾̍ ̶̮̙̦̺͌̌̇͒̕͜͜͠a̴̰͋͑̇̂͒́̽͑͗̒̀̎̉̚ ̸͉̩͊͑̎͊̅́̆̈͘w̷͖̹͇̩͙͔̹̮̳̣̋͜ē̷̟͆͋̀̎͝e̷̢̞͎̰̠̳͇͒͑͒̊̀̋͜k̷̻̩̣̮̰̗͖̝̦͔̓̀̓̚͜ͅ ̵͇̰͌̂͋̈̉͒̐̀͝ā̶̧͖̱̗̮̭ģ̴̢͇͍̦̖͖̺̅͗́̔̀͗ͅó̴̰̺̩̥̉̏̎̆͊̀͐͠͝

**Jon!** : A week?

**Jon!** : Sorry, this is really hard to read.

**Jon!** : Try going into the Corridors. It might make you feel better.

**Sasha!** : w̸̧̛͖͚͎̗͇̖̌̎̊̇̋ơ̷̳̝̭̲͑͒̀͒̿̈͗̑͐̄̔̏ų̵͖̣̟̖̪̞̫͔̈́̂̉̈̀͋̽̕͠l̶̢͉̖͉̉̉̋̉̓̉͐̈̀̔ḑ̸̡͔̝͕͉̳͖͕̯̹̮̟̗̏͗͘ǹ̴͈͖̳̤̯̻̖̔̃̌̾̚͘͝’̷̧̘̝͖̜̯̹͍̲̼̘̓́̋͂͒͜͝t̴̨̖̼̱̩͖̘̭̯̗̬̲̤̺͋̈̿͜͠ ̸̬̙̪̙̰̮̬̲̘͙̻̖̏̈́̎͋̏͊̄̊̎͘͜͝t̴̢̗̹̝̺̫̹̞̟̄̐̍́̉̈́̿̐͆͆̚͘ḣ̷̡̹͎̜͈̗̠̺͛̀͒̊̒̿̄̆̇̍̈͐͠ą̴̢͖̘̮͙̪̫̞̽́̆͋̾̓͒t̸̨͔̘͇͈̠͍̹̭͙̝̘̪͈͛̎̐̋̿̑͗̉̆̒̊̉̕͜͠ ̵̲͇̙̈̈̓̋́͐̅̋̽̕m̷̡̯̖̮̫̓̀̉̈́̿̊̌͆̂̉͘ă̵̡͔̲͈͚̒ḳ̴̡̧̰̱͓̬̪͙͓͊͗̽̋͋̽̐̄͆ȩ̴̢̘̟͇̪̪̗͉̒̈́͗̎͘ ̶̧̦̯̪̘͈͎͈̩̬͓̘̾̂i̵̱̰̘̖̮͎͈͉̣̠̣͔͜͝ͅͅt̷̛̗̠̖͍̪̮̰̟̥͎͚͉͈͂̍͗͌̋͘͠͝ ̵̭̟͔̥͐̎̊̇̑͌͆̄̍͗̍̒͠w̶̠͇̘͍͇̺̰͓͙̑̽̀̔̇͆͛̌ō̵͍̉̾r̶̛̼̥̟̥̆̈́͒́̉̽̇͝s̶̙̼̼͗̂̐͛͊̇e̸̛͍̰̣̓͒̐̌͋̌̋̆̕?̸̨͖̣̣̫̦̪̪̞̝͜͝

**Jon!** : Talking to me has made it worse, Sasha.

**Jon!** : Didn’t Helen say things were moving faster for you, your transition?

**Jon!** : I’ve been the Archivist for a little over a year, about thirteen months. You’ve been leaning towards the Spiral since last July, or about nine months.

**Jon!** : There’s a chance you’ve become physically dependent on the Spiral. Even if it’s to a small degree at the moment, you’ve spent the last week in the Archives, where we’re working towards order, which is the opposite of the Spiral. I don’t know if you’ve got some way to get to Helen but it might help.

**Sasha!** : Î̵̧̜̤̥͚̀̂͆̅͘͘̕͘͝͝’̵̢͕̻̦̩̻̹͙̝̾̆́͊̀̀́͊̐̈́͗͊̊͘d̸̡̢̛͎̼̫̪̣̪̗̙̀͑́̑̍̈́̐̒́͘͠ ̶̧͚̬̺̮̯͈̑͊͜͜t̴̢̨̡͉͕̣̬̗͍̬͗̈̈́͝͠r̵̳̜̲̆y̴͙͔̮̹͕̔͛̈́͒̎̈̉̏ ̵̯̙̣͚̘͍̭͎̺͉̮̩͇̳̌̍̎̀̈̎̀̑́b̷̯͙̬̬̱̫̻̳̬̞̹̤͚̩̃̂͐̇̉͆̈́̌͑͆̿̏̑͝͝ù̴̲̹̟̻͗̈́̓̍̑͂̚͠t̷̝̹̮̼̒͊͂ ̸̨̲͍̟̦̫̓̔I̶͓͇̮̠̿ ̸̧̨͍̘͕̳̠̈́̌̚c̵̦̄͌͂̇̍̌̓̓̾á̶̡̛͖͇̗͉͎͉̙̝̣̟̪̔͛̽͑̿͑̆̄̿̊͝n̵̢̨̛̪̞̤̰̝̣͔͚̙͋͂͌̔̊̔̐͒̽̈́͂̾͊̅’̶̧̡̫̲͖̄͒ṱ̸̼̲̮̍͆̉̈́̊̒̌̏́́̌̌͌͝͠ ̶̢̲̘͚̹̝̭̤̀m̴̡̧̩̬̭̘̗͎̟̹͖̯͍̏͑̈́̌̊̒̑̽͊̈́̔̕o̷̧̨͕̩̺͚̩͓͍̦̟͍̝̱͉̿͛v̸̡̖͇̰̣͙̾́́̂̀͋̂͛̅̇̍͂͜ͅẽ̸̬̖̲̬̱͙͎̲̺͕͚̔́̓̓̌͐͛͘̚͠͝

**Sasha!** : h̸̞̓̀̊̐͋͝ư̶̧̡̛͖͓̜̱̼͕̻̘̘̤͚̮̓̋̓́̊̓̚ͅr̷̳̹̪͖͎̩̐̋́̊̉̍̚͠͝t̸͔̙̙͔͋̇̃͗̆̈́̊̃͐͋̓̊̎̈́͠ş̶̤̗̊̿̔̈́͋͊͝͝ ̸̢͙̺̺̟̟̍́͋̆̏̒͑̅͐̕̕̚͜͝ḩ̸̛͇͙̞̥̼͔̟̩͐͑͆̔̀̀u̶̢̩̐̔̓̈́͝r̵̫̤̟͓̋t̸̡̪̦͙̼͎̍̀́́͑̆̈́̃̅̐ͅs̶̢̹̺̠͂̑̈́̉ ̶̧̛͍̮͓̹͙͔̥͇̭̘̦̙͍͑́̽̓͊͊̅̊̈́́̚h̵̡̳̥̳̍̊̑̓̀́͋͊̓̅̄͘͘̕͝ͅṵ̴̧̦͕̫̩̈̇͂̑̉̒̅̊̆͜r̴̳̺̣̼̱̳̮̞̭̤̯͗̋͊̋̅͂̈́̃͘͝t̸̡̨͕̥̓̈́̎̃̀̃͒̈̄̈́͛̚͘͠s̷̨̧̝̱͔̻̥̯̯̭̱̩̟͇͓̃̆̇̄̾̚

**Jon!** : I’m sorry I really can’t read this

**Jon!** : The Eye gives me the ability to read French but not Spiral text wow good to know though right?

**Jon!** : But you said it hurts to move?

**Sasha!** : ë̷͎̯͇̹͕̝͖̬̝̼͌̒̏̈̍͗̓̈́͜͝͠ͅv̴̛̮̘͖̣̗̟̳͈̿̄͌̑̊͑̾̒͝e̵͎̠̗̹̳̰̣̭̹͑̏̓̃̏r̶̛̳̞̰͖̥̋̌͂̋͛͆̎̍̇̎̇͝y̵̢̨̧̺̱̣̲̲̗̪̻̔̀̊̓̒̇͑̔͗̒́̄͐̌t̶̢̧͈̯̭̪̭͖̥̜̰̰͙̆͑̈́̋̈́̄̈́̆͘͝ͅḣ̵̨͇̺̟͙͔̲̙̫͈̱̮̳͍̯̃̑́̒̌͋̿̂̕ḭ̵̧̠́̈́͛̈͒̈́͋̓͐͗̄ͅņ̸͔̹͙̭̬̯̩̹̘̟̭̘̍̎̒̀͌͐́̃̔̾͛͝g̵͔̬̳̦̣̱̹̗̘̟̽̃̓̏̌̋̆̀̾͌̿ͅ ̷͔͇̝̤͈̘̖͖̫͇͇̦̣̗̑̈́̊̊̄̂͆͘͝͠͠ḥ̵̳̣͆̅̈́̀͗́͒̅ͅù̸̻̃̇̓̊͑̅͝͝ŗ̸̛̭͕̮̩͔̼̜̻̞̞̯͆͛̽̎͘͘̕͜t̶̜̹̪̹̪͎͆̌̍̃̒̐͆́͆̋̚͠͠͝s̴̡̧͔̯͗̈́̾́͂̃̃̊̔̄̄̑͠͝͝

**Jon!** : That’s not good.

**Jon!** : But you know that. Sorry.

**Jon!** : Is there any way for you to text Helen? Have her come and get you? I know you have in the past but I wouldn’t trust that to stay consistent.

**Sasha!** : o̴͚̎h̵͉̓.̶̠͊ ̷̓͜r̴͈̚ī̶̼g̶̘̎h̶͉́t̶̖͛

**Sasha!** : d̷̥͛o̶̢̽n̶̹͊’̴̼̄t̷͇͒ ̴͕̏k̵̲͐ņ̷̓o̸̗͌ẁ̴̥ ̴͕͌w̶͔̕h̷̥̓ỳ̷̳ ̶̦̽I̵͙͆ ̷͈̐d̸̲͊i̸̲̒d̴̞̃ń̸̫’̴̢̈t̸͖͒ ̵̺̀t̷̤͆h̴̫̆i̸̮̎ṅ̷̬k̸͕̆ ̵̞̑ȏ̴͕f̷̪͋ ̷̮̈́t̸͙̉ĥ̶ͅå̸͙t̴̼̊

**Jon!** : Because you’re in pain, and suffering from withdrawal. You’re not thinking clearly.

**Sasha!** : s̸͎͗h̸̪̓ẻ̵̖’̵́͜s̸̲̐ ̷͓̒ö̷͖n̵͍̆ ̸̜͑ḣ̶̼ẹ̷͑ȑ̵ͅ ̶̫̚w̷̻̆a̵͎͆y̵͉͆.̷̣͘ ̴̙̏w̷̲͆ȧ̴̰t̸̯̚c̵̗̑ẖ̶̕ ̷͎̏f̸̠͘o̴͓͌r̴̦̎ ̵͔̾ď̵̲ŏ̸̢o̵̟͒ȑ̵̭.̴̱͒

**Jon!** : I’ll let the group chat know. Don’t want to misplace anyone.

**Sasha!** : Yeah, that’s preferable.

**Jon!** : The text is fixed!

**Sasha!** : Yeah, I’m with Helen. Still really out of it.

**Jon!** : Dont worry about getting back at any specific time. Hang out in the Corridors for a while, and we’ll figure out the emotional repercussions of you becoming physically dependent on the Spiral later.

**Sasha!** : Thank you, Jon.

**Jon!** : Of course.

**Jon <3** _to_ **Martin <3**

**Jon <3**: Do you need me for anything?

**Martin <3**: Uh, not at the moment?

**Martin <3**: Of course I always need you but I don’t need anything specific.

**Jon <3**: Alright.

**Jon <3**: Everyone else has asked me for something within a few hours of each other.

**Jon <3**: Except for Tim. 

**Martin <3**: Yeah, he’s with Danny and therefore unreachable today.

**Jon <3**: Oh.

**Martin <3**: Did he not tell you?

**Jon <3**: Tim isn’t really speaking to me at all at the moment.

**Martin <3**: I’m sorry :(

**Jon <3**: A lot of things have happened to him recently. Either he comes around or he stops talking to me and honestly I can’t blame him for it.

**Martin <3**: Well, I can.

**Jon <3**: I think you might be a bit biased, dear.

**Martin <3**: No you are nice to talk to and anyone who says otherwise is wrong and I will fight them.

**Jon <3**: Well, don’t damage yourself.

**Martin <3**: I will be damaging the other people/avatars.

**Jon <3**: Alright, you might not need anything from me but I need something from you,

**Jon <3**: Can you come to my office so I can kiss you please?

**Martin <3**: Of course 🥰

**Jon <3**: Oh and bring tea please.

**Martin <3**: Oh, there it is. Your true intentions.

**Jon <3**: Yes, the only reason I keep you around is to make tea and threaten to beat people up.

**Martin <3**: Just like we only keep you around to use your spooky Eye powers.

**Jon <3**: At least we’re honest with each other.

**Martin <3**: Better than some relationships I’ve been in.

**Jon <3**: ^^^


	43. the last line of this chapter is me coming back after not writing for a week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **The Aurora** : you truly are the superior stoker brother
> 
> **Not Gunpowder Tim** : :((((
> 
> **danny danny danny** : yeah yeah I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: None? idk if you catch something I missed lmk
> 
> I’ve applied for college! I only had three panic attacks!

**I’m Sad And Gay (The Musical!)**

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : hey this is the not work chat right

**Nastya Rasputina** : indeed

**First Mate** : That’s my understanding.

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : OH jon remind me I need to talk to you

**First Mate** : Alright?

**Nastya Rasputina** : Jon I can feel your anxiety spiking from here

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : no no oops it’s not bad it’s just Unknowing related and i’ve been meaning to tell you for like a week but I keep forgetting 

**First Mate** : Ah, alright.

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : ALSO can I add my brother to the chat

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : 👉👈

**First Mate** : Sure.

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : fuckin LIT okay

**Not Gunpowder Tim** _added_ **danny danny danny** _to the chat_

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : prepare to get stokered(^2)

**danny danny danny** : why hello people!

**danny danny danny** : I have heard a LOT about all of you

**Sasha Deserves Better** : hi again Danny 

**danny danny danny** : hi again Sasha

**Martin <3**: Hello! We’ve heard a lot about you too!

**The Aurora** : actually all we know about you is that you’re the hotter stoker brother and that you haven’t been skinned alive

**danny danny danny** : that’s all you need to know about me honestly

**danny danny danny** : the abridged version is that I kinda died but I got better

**Nastya Rasputina** : hello!

**danny danny danny** : fUck 

**danny danny danny** : you guys are mechs fans??

**Nastya Rasputina** : You could say that.

**Ashes O’Reilly** : Meh, I could take them or leave them.

**First Mate** : They’re okay. Jonny D’ville sucks though, and so it kind of ruins the entire band for me.

**Martin <3**: J O N

**The Aurora** : smh 

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : oh yeah I might have forgotten to mention that

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : they’re not fans, danny. they ARE the band members.

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : well Ashes (Basira) and Nastya (Georgie) and Jonny (Jon)

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : The Aurora is georgie’s girlfriend Melanie. 

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : Martin <3 is jon’s boyfriend martin

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : and you know sasha

**danny danny danny** : you’ve got to be shitting me

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : nope

**danny danny danny** : and you  
/conveniently forgot/ to mention this

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : look man my adhd brain has been buzzing nonstop since you showed up I can hardly think straight

**Sasha Deserves Better** : Tim you’ve never been able to think straight

**danny danny danny** : you’ve never been able to think straight

**danny danny danny** : TIM THIS WOMAN IS YOUR SOULMATE MARRY HER NOW

**Sasha Deserves Better** : nah.

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : oh.

**Martin <3**: What is happening??

**Nastya Rasputina** : best not to think about it

**danny danny danny** : okay so I know a little about what’s going on but just to recap

**danny danny danny** : so you all work for an eyeball cult, and your evil boss made it so that you can’t quit because capitalism. there are also fear “gods-but-you-shouldn’t-call-them-gods-because-Jon-gets-tetchy”

**danny danny danny** : that’s a direct quote from Tim btw

**danny danny danny** : anyways so these fear thingys take people and give them spooky powers. some of them are evil and some of them are good. Jon is good. 

**danny danny danny** : and now you all have to stop one of the bad “people” who just so happens to be the same one who traumatized me and Tim from doing this ritual called the Unknowing because if she does that then she’ll have ultimate power and the world will be hers mwhawhahaha

**danny danny danny** : oh and also there’s an entity in the police and also Helen.

**Ashes O’Reilly** : Uh, yeah basically.

**Nastya Rasputina** : “don’t call them gods because Jon gets tetchy”

**The Aurora** : I’m SCREAMING this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

**The Aurora** : you truly are the superior stoker brother

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : :((((

**danny danny danny** : yeah yeah I know

**Martin <3**: Okay I’m a little confused. Danny are you going to work here?

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : fuck no

**danny danny danny** : nope! I am good with watching the chaos from far away

**Martin <3**: Yeah, it’s good you’re not.

**danny danny danny** : Tim now I want to apply just to spite you

**Ashes O’Reilly** : NO.

**The Aurora** : DANNY DONT

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : DANIEL STOKER IF YOU DO I SWEAR I’LL SKIN YOU ALIVE FOR REAL THIS TIME

**danny danny danny** : okay okay it wasn’t funny got it

**Sasha Deserves Better** : Fuck.

**Sasha Deserves Better** : have you guys ever had to say something really important but things keep happening so you get like “oh I can’t say anything now because X just happened”?

**Martin <3**: ...Yes?

**The Aurora** : no?

**The Aurora** : oh hah maybe it’s an anxiety thing

**Nastya Rasputina** : ^^^

**Sasha Deserves Better** : okay but I’ve been trying to tell you all that I’ve become physically dependent on the Sprial and I’m most definitely turning into an Avatar for like two weeks.

**Sasha Deserves Better** : FUCK

**Sasha Deserves Better** : okay guys I really didn’t mean to send that I didn’t want to tell you like that I’m sorry

**Nastya Rasputina** : is... is this a joke?

**Sasha Deserves Better** : not the kind of thing I’d joke about

**Sasha Deserves Better** : I’m sorry I wanted to tell you in person 

**Ashes O’Reilly** : Sasha.

**Sasha Deserves Better** : OKAY BUT MY POINT WAS

**Sasha Deserves Better** : we can’t even focus on that right now because we’ve got a bigger problem.

**Sasha Deserves Better** : so not to expose Jon because I think it’s an Eye thing but I found out he hadn’t actually burned Gerry’s page of the book yet and I kinda yelled at him and he said he couldn’t do it like physically so I ended up doing it.

**Sasha Deserves Better** : and uh

**Sasha Deserves Better** : it had an unexpected result?

**Ashes O’Reilly** : What do you mean?

**First Mate** : Well...

**First Mate** _added_ **Gerry Keay** _to the chat_

**First Mate** : The unexpected result.

**Gerry Keay** : Hah. Hi?


	44. i need the instant seratonin I only get from comments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me, trying to write these couple chapters:
> 
> **Daisy 🌼** : ugh when’s it going to be the unknowing already I just want to kill  
> some mannequins is that too much to ask from the universe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: References to police brutality, references to Hunt-typical violence, self dehumanization
> 
> I know you all want Gerry but guess what? I’m gay and sad and in charge so you’re getting Daisy.

**Basira 🏵** _to_ **Daisy 🌼**

**Basira 🏵** : Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any weirder.

**Basira 🏵** : I just had a conversation with a dead guy after he came back to life because Sasha lit a piece of paper on fire.

**Daisy 🌼** : ...

**Daisy 🌼** : You did what?

**Basira 🏵** : Yeah.

**Daisy 🌼** : Wow.

**Daisy 🌼** : How exactly did that work?

**Basira 🏵** : We’re not sure?

**Basira 🏵** : The current theory is that Sasha is Spiral-aligned, and it’s like “wouldn’t it be crazy if Gerry just popped up alive instead of dying”.

**Basira 🏵** : Dream logic.

**Daisy 🌼** : That makes even less sense.

**Basira 🏵** : You’re telling me.

**Daisy 🌼** : I mean, I just got a call from Sims asking me to go somewhere tomorrow and, quote, “I don’t know, stand there and look threatening. My boyfriend doesn’t like it when I get kidnapped.”

**Basira 🏵** : He did WHAT?

**Daisy 🌼** : Yeah, I know.

**Daisy 🌼** : So guess I’m going to a taxidermy shop to look threatening tomorrow.

**Basira 🏵** : Wait you’re actually doing it?

**Daisy 🌼** : Not for him. 

**Basira 🏵** : What do you mean?

**Daisy 🌼** : I mean I conveniently left out the part where I got a phone call from Bouchard two seconds after Sims hung up, telling me to go with him.

**Basira 🏵** : Oh.

**Daisy 🌼** : So yeah.

**Basira 🏵** : Wow.

**Daisy 🌼** : yeah.

**Daisy 🌼** : ugh when’s it going to be the unknowing already I just want to kill  
some mannequins is that too much to ask from the universe? 

**Basira 🏵** : How exactly do you kill a mannequin?

**Daisy 🌼** : I mean taking off its head can’t feel great.

**Basira 🏵** : If mannequins have physical feelings. They are plastic.

**Daisy 🌼** : Plastic and human skin.

**Daisy 🌼** : human skin has nerves

**Basira 🏵** : I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.

**Daisy 🌼** : But do you know for sure?

**Basira 🏵** : ...

**Basira 🏵** : Okay I asked Jon and he doesn’t know either so we’ll see when we get there.

**Daisy 🌼** : :)

**Daisy 🌼** : can’t wait.

**Basira 🏵** : Honestly? Me neither.

**Basira 🏵** : I like working in the Archives, but I miss the action. The part where we take the knowledge and actually DO something with it.

**Daisy 🌼** : yeah.

**Daisy 🌼** : It’ll be nice to do with you again.

**Basira 🏵** : Daisy I just had a thought

**Basira 🏵** : Is Elias going to let you come to the Unknowing?

**Daisy 🌼** : He doesn’t get a say. He’s not the boss of me.

**Basira 🏵** : ...says the woman who’s going to follow someone she hates to a fucking taxidermy shop tomorrow.

**Daisy 🌼** : That’s different.

**Daisy 🌼** : You’re going to the Unknowing, and I follow you before him.

**Daisy 🌼** : What’s he gonna do, stare at me?

**Basira 🏵** : Elias said 👀

**Daisy 🌼** : homophobia 

**Basira 🏵** : Absolutely.

**Basira 🏵** : We actually have an archive theory that Elias is both homophobic and gay and that he keeps marrying/divorcing Peter Lukas.

**Daisy 🌼** : I mean he dresses like a gay man and acts like a homophobe so that checks out.

**Daisy 🌼** : Hard to believe that anyone would put up with his shit long enough to marry him. And why multiple divorces?

**Basira 🏵** : Elias himself has said he’s gotten divorced more than once. Also, the Lukas family are actually one of the entity cults. They serve the Lonely. So I’d imagine there’s something in that.

**Daisy 🌼** : Ah, so it’s a kink.

**Basira 🏵** : D A I S Y

**Basira 🏵** : Everyone else is having a crisis because Gerry is alive and Sasha is dying and I’m just sitting in the corner laughing like a maniac.

**Daisy 🌼** : glad to be of assistance.

**Daisy 🌼** : Wait. Sasha’s dying?

**Basira 🏵** : Dying. Turning into an Avatar. Semantics.

**Daisy 🌼** : Shame. She seemed tolerable.

**Basira 🏵** : She’s not going anywhere? 

**Daisy 🌼** : The way you talk, being an Avatar’s practically a death sentence.

**Basira 🏵** : But, I mean, what is an Avatar? Where is that line drawn?

**Basira 🏵** : There are layers to it. The entities affect people in different ways. What is the difference between an Avatar, and someone touched by an entity?

**Daisy 🌼** : What’s the difference between me and the things I kill?

**Basira 🏵** : I didn’t say that.

**Daisy 🌼** : You’ve thought about it.

**Basira 🏵** : No I haven’t.

**Daisy 🌼** : Don’t lie to me.

**Daisy 🌼** : All your talk about the Hunt? You talking like it’s a beast coming to get me? 

**Daisy 🌼** : I feel it. And I like it. Does that make me a monster?

**Daisy 🌼** : Answer me. And don’t lie.

**Basira 🏵** : That’s the debate. 

**Basira 🏵** : I’d say no. But I know others who’d say yes. 

**Daisy 🌼** : I know.

**Daisy 🌼** : I’m going with one of those others to glare at stuffed rabbits tomorrow.

**Basira 🏵** : I think they’ve got more than rabbits.

**Daisy 🌼** : Probably something Stranger-related, seeing as this our Unknowing investigation.

**Daisy 🌼** : But I’ll only be glaring at the rabbits.

**Basira 🏵** : ...dare I ask why?

**Daisy 🌼** : Rabbits are evil.

**Basira 🏵** : What?

**Daisy 🌼** : Spawns of Satan.

**Daisy 🌼** : If there is a Satan.

**Daisy 🌼** : There probably is a Satan, and he’s a giant rabbit.

**Basira 🏵** : Okay then.


	45. Stopping The Unknowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Jonathan Sims** : We found some explosives we found in Gertrude’s storage locker. Does anyone know how to set them up? Like, to detonate at a certain time?
> 
> **Jonathan Sims** : I’d try myself, but this seems like one of those things you shouldn’t leave to trial and error.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: None, I think (let me know if I missed something)
> 
> if you remember when I used to publish three chapters a day you qualify for the senior citizen discount
> 
> also, in case you haven’t seen I published two Mechanisms fics (one is a chat fic!) and you should check them out. or not. I’m not the boss of you.

**Jonathan Sims** _started a group chat_

**Jonathan Sims** _added_ **Martin Blackwood** , **Melanie King** , **Basira Hussain** , **Gerry Keay** , **Georgie Barker** , **Sasha James** , **Tim Stoker** , **Danny Stoker** , _and_ **Daisy Tonner** _to the group chat_

**Jonathan Sims** _renamed the chat_ **Stopping The Unknowing**

**Jonathan Sims** : Alright. I think I’m in charge of this operation?

**Tim Stoker** : uh on who’s authority 

**Jonathan Sims** : The Eye.

**Tim Stoker** : fair enough.

**Tim Stoker** : why’d you turn off chat names??

**Sasha James** : YOU CAN TURN THAT OFF??

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes, it’s in the extra settings when you make a chat.

**Sasha James** : man I wish I learned that years ago

**Jonathan Sims** : And you can’t change your name because this is official.

**Tim Stoker** : :(((

**Jonathan Sims** : Also, I’ve got a lot to explain, so please keep the interruptions to a minimum.

**Jonathan Sims** : I wouldn’t even do this over text message but I don’t think Elias can see our chats.

**Jonathan Sims** : Georgie and Danny, I mostly wanted to keep you in the loop. I don’t know how much of this will apply to you, as you don’t work at the Institute. But maybe you can help in some other way.

**Georgie Barker** : Hey side question because I don’t work at the Institute- why is stopping the Unknowing so important?

**Jonathan Sims** : If Nikola succeeds, we’ll live in a world run by the Stranger. A world of Unknowing, whatever that looks like. Very literally impossible to figure out what that would look like.

**Georgie Barker** : Yeah?

**Georgie Barker** : And isn’t the person who told you that the same person who wants to use you to create a world run by the Eye? A world of Knowing?

**Georgie Barker** : How do we know this isn’t some kind of evil diversion by Elias?

**Jonathan Sims** : I’ve considered that possibility, and come to the conclusion that the risk isn’t worth it. If Elias is telling the truth, we save the world. If Elias is lying, the worst thing that happens is we waste some explosives.

**Jonathan Sims** : Obviously I can’t make a decision for the group. And if some of you decide not to help... well, I can’t blame you. 

**Jonathan Sims** : But at least hear me out.

**Jonathan Sims** : I was up all night working on a plan.

**Martin Blackwood** : Wait, you were up all night??

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes, yes, you can yell at me in the other chat Martin.

**Jonathan Sims** : Yesterday, Daisy and I went to a Stranger-owned taxidermy shop, and met Sarah Baldwin.

**Melanie King** : That Sarah Baldwin??

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes, the one that you made a statement about. Avatar of the Stranger.

**Jonathan Sims** : We learned that Nikola was looking for a really old gorilla skin, the oldest piece of taxidermy. Gertrude destroyed it before she died.

**Gerry Keay** : I remember that! I helped!

**Jonathan Sims** : Since it was destroyed, Nikola needed a replacement. She tried to use mine, but I escaped. I don’t know what she’s going to use now, but I think we should try and find out. Maybe we can destroy that too.

**Jonathan Sims** : But we should assume we’re not going to be able to find it in time. 

**Jonathan Sims** : Though I know it’s happening in Yarmouth, I don’t have an exact date for The Unknowing. I spoke with Elias yesterday, and he said it will be happening “soon enough”, whatever that means. 

**Jonathan Sims** : So we’ve got to prepare for the actual day.

**Jonathan Sims** : Those of us who work in the Archives- I need anything you can find on the Stranger. I’m talking any statement that even vaguely mentions mannequins or dolls or circuses or anything else connected to the Stranger. Also, anything that sounds like it could be a ritual attempt, even for another entity.

**Jonathan Sims** : Tim specifically- you’ve done a lot of personal research on this topic. I’d assume you know the most of any of us. If you know of anything you think could help, let us know.

**Jonathan Sims** : Oh, that same thing for Danny as well. I don’t know how much you know, but anything you do know helps.

**Tim Stoker** : I’ll make a slideshow

**Danny Stoker** : do it in Google and share it with me so I can add stuff

**Tim Stoker** : okay

**Jonathan Sims** : However, we should try and keep this investigation to just the people in this chat. Mainly, I don’t want any of you in Artifact Storage.

**Sasha James** : 100% valid.

**Jonathan Sims** : Sasha- Continue doing what you’ve been doing. We may be able to use it.

**Sasha James** : 👍

**Tim Stoker** : wow that’s so not suspicious 

**Sasha James** : I’ll tell you later, just not in the chat.

**Tim Stoker** : okie dokie

**Jonathan Sims** : While we’re preparing, we should assume that everything should go wrong, and that we won’t be able to stop The Unknowing until it is underway. In that case, we’re stopping it in the same way Gertrude Robinson stopped ritual attempts.

**Gerry Keay** : ...brutally sacrificing Archive Assistants?

**Jonathan Sims** : What? No!

**Jonathan Sims** : Copious amounts of explosives.

**Gerry Keay** : Oh. I like that way significantly better.

**Melanie King** : Me too.

**Jonathan Sims** : We found some explosives we found in Gertrude’s storage locker. Does anyone know how to set them up? Like, to detonate at a certain time?

**Jonathan Sims** : I’d try myself, but this seems like one of those things you shouldn’t leave to trial and error.

**Daisy Tonner** : Yes.

**Basira Hussain** : In theory.

**Melanie King** : why am I not surprised it’s those two?

**Tim Stoker** : oh my money was on you mel

**Georgie Barker** : at this point, it wouldn’t surprise me

**Melanie King** : :)

**Jonathan Sims** : If we can get it to work, we plant the explosives, get out, and light them once the ritual starts. Quick in and out, and no one gets hurt. 

**Jonathan Sims** : Well, except for the Circus, obviously.

**Basira Hussain** : Seems simple enough.

**Martin Blackwood** : Actually can I add something?

**Martin Blackwood** : You know what, never mind. Ignore me.

**Jonathan Sims** : No. What were you going to say?

**Martin Blackwood** : I don’t know.

**Martin Blackwood** : It just seems a bit... silly? For all ten of us to go just to plant explosives?

**Martin Blackwood** : Like, wouldn’t it be easier for us to get caught if there’s a lot of us?

**Daisy Tonner** : He makes a good point. Makes more sense to have a smaller group, maybe four or five, go to Yarmouth.

**Daisy Tonner** : Me, Basira, Sims, two others?

**Sasha James** : What’s everyone else doing?

**Danny Stoker** : panicking 

**Martin Blackwood** : ...taking down Elias?

**Jonathan Sims** : How?

**Martin Blackwood** : It’s just a suggestion but I mean...

**Martin Blackwood** : He’s definitely going to be watching The Unknowing. And it’s like Basira said the other day, he can only focus on so many things at a time.

**Martin Blackwood** : If someone is here creating a distraction during The Unknowing, someone else can go into Elias’ office and search for evidence of his multiple murders. We can’t kill him, but we could at least send him to prison, right?

**Jonathan Sims** : Martin I could kiss you. 

**Jonathan Sims** : Christ that’s brilliant.

**Martin Blackwood** : I try.

**Jonathan Sims** : Well, this isn’t a dictatorship, so all in favor?

**Tim Stoker** : just to make sure I get it- we all do research now, then when it’s time we break into two teams. one of them goes and blows up Nikola, the other stays here and gets Elias arrested.

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes.

**Tim Stoker** : sounds good to me.

**Sasha James** : ^^^

**Gerry Keay** : ^^^

**Melanie King** : ^^^

**Martin Blackwood** : ^^^

**Georgie Barker** : ^^^

**Danny Stoker** : ^^^

**Basira Hussain** : ^^^

**Daisy Tonner** : Well, it won’t be the dumbest thing I’ve done.

**Sasha James** : who’s going where?

**Jonathan Sims** : I think Daisy is right, in that she, Basira and I should all be at the Unknowing. I’ll need to Know when to set the explosives off, and it just makes sense for Basira and Daisy to be there

**Basira Hussain** : I’m good with that.

**Daisy Tonner** : 10-4

**Jonathan Sims** : Georgie and Danny, with all due respect, I think you two should be with us in spirit rather than in body.

**Georgie Barker** : I am 100% okay with that.

**Danny Stoker** : you guys better not die.

**Tim Stoker** : I think Martin should get to make the distraction for Elias because it was his idea.

**Jonathan Sims** : I don’t think that’s really a privilege position. Elias will most likely make that person Know something bad.

**Martin Blackwood** : It’s okay, I’m willing to take that risk. Besides, I know what he’s going to say.

**Jonathan Sims** : If you’re sure.

**Jonathan Sims** : That leaves Tim, Sasha, Melanie, and Gerry.

**Tim Stoker** : I want to go to the Unknowing. Even if Danny isn’t dead, I still want to hurt Nikola.

**Jonathan Sims** : Alright. 

**Jonathan Sims** : I also think Melanie should stay behind. If things get messy with Elias, I trust you to handle it.

**Melanie King** : Fine. 

**Jonathan Sims** : Gerry and Sasha?

**Sasha James** : a concept- Gerry comes with me and we do that other thing you and I talked about

**Jonathan Sims** : I don’t know.

**Sasha James** : if doesn’t work out, we’ll stay behind. if it does, we may need it.

**Jonathan Sims** : You’re right. Do that.

**Gerry Keay** : Do I get to know what I’ve been signed up for?

**Sasha James** : if it works

**Gerry Keay** : christ it’s like working with Gertrude all over again

**Gerry Keay** : Alright, just let me know.

**Jonathan Sims** : Well. We’re already far more cohesive than the last time we tried to stop an Avatar.

**Melanie King** : what happened?

**Sasha James** : well our entire plan was 

**Sasha James** : 1) don’t get eaten by worms

**Martin Blackwood** : Only one step and I almost failed it.

**Tim Stoker** : no no you guys the plan looked like this

**Tim Stoker** : _sent an image_  
(A handwritten list, written on a napkin, titled “How To Stop Worm”. Underneath the title are the lines “1) See Worm”, “2) ???”, and “3) Profit”)

**Sasha James** : OH MY GOD I can’t believe you kept that

**Sasha James** : we made that on our very first archive drinks night after Martin escaped Prentiss like a million years ago

**Martin Blackwood** : We were so drunk.

**Tim Stoker** : yeah we were

**Tim Stoker** : but no of course I kept it those are priceless memories

**Tim Stoker** : it’ll be something to look back on when we’re all old and saggy

**Sasha James** : ew

**Melanie King** : if we make it that long hah


	46. Wanna Buy A Parrot?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mentions of arrests/illegal activities, discussion of trans character pre-transition
> 
> I had pizza rolls for dinner and I popped one in my mouth like three minutes after it came out of the oven and I burned my whole mouth and my lips 
> 
> Also THE UNKNOWING WILL BE CHAPTER 50! Get emotionally prepared.

**I’m Sad And Gay (The Musical!)**

**danny danny danny** : psst Tim

**danny danny danny** : wanna buy a parrot?

**Ashes O’Reilly** : Are...

**Ashes O’Reilly** : Are you selling illegal parrots or something?

**danny danny danny** : OOF IM SORRY

**danny danny danny** : that was supposed to be a private message I didn’t mean to text the whole group

**The Aurora** : that just solidifies the illegal parrot theory

**danny danny danny** : sorry guys

**First Mate** : What makes a parrot selling illegal?

**Ashes O’Reilly** : You need a license.

**Ashes O’Reilly** : We once had to arrest this guy for selling reanimated pets. They kept biting kids. But since they were owned by the families before the reanimations, the only thing we could actually arrest him for was not having a license, as he bought the pet corpses and then got the families to buy them back.

**First Mate** : ...Wow.

**Nastya Rasputina** : An entrepreneur.

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : danny no why did you have to reawaken all my suppressed memories

**danny danny danny** : you’re supposed to say “a what?” :(

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : he’s not actually selling me anything it’s a reference to a certain line in this play we were in when we were kids

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : it was called “Two Nights Before Christmas” and it was god awful

**Sasha Deserves Better** : what was it about?

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : uhhh like two nights before christmas in a toy store??? I think?? it was like a million years ago

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : I played a Dorothy doll? and Danny was like a nutcracker or some shit

**danny danny danny** : excuse you I was a toy soldier and I had the time of my life

**Martin <3**: Why did they cast you as Dorothy? And not a girl?

**Martin <3**: Wait no I’m stupid I’m sorry

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : haha no it’s fine

**The Aurora** : I have no idea what you both looked like as kids so I’m just picturing like... you guys now in drag

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : jsisjebwh

**danny danny danny** : that’s pretty accurate actually

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : I wonder if I actually still have a picture of that?

**danny danny danny** : I’m off work so I’ll look through the folder :)

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : oof the folder

**Sasha Deserves Better** : I’m kind of scared to ask but what’s the folder

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : I put all the pictures I had from when we were kids in a google folder

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : I look through it when I want to feel bad about myself :)

**danny danny danny** : uh why don’t you look through it to feel good about yourself?

**danny danny danny** : like in a “look how far you’ve come” way?

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : because I’m not a motivational poster I’m a real person

**danny danny danny** : 🖕

**First Mate** : Why do you use Google so much? Microsoft is right there.

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : old man

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : and mainly because I can share the stuff with my brother so he can look through family photos for “motivational reasons” or something

**danny danny danny** : 🖕

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : 🖕

**First Mate** : Fair enough.

**danny danny danny** : Tim can I put some pictures in here they’re pre-transition 

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : ew

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : but yeah if everyone wants to see dumb picture of me as a kid

**Sasha Deserves Better** : I would love to see dumb pictures of you as a kid

**The Aurora** : me too

**Martin <3**: ^^^

**Nastya Rasputina** : ^^^

**Ashes O’Reilly** : I don’t think I have a choice at this point.

**First Mate** : ^^^

**danny danny danny** : it’s funny you said kid I just wanted to send this picture from prom

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : oh GOD NO NOT THAT PICTURE

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : ANY OTHER PICTURE

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : DANNY PLEASE LET ME PRESERVE THE LITTLE DIGNITY I HAVE

**danny danny danny** : no take backs :)

**danny danny danny** : Tim told our parents he didn’t have a partner (he did, but it was a girl) so they made him bring me

**danny danny danny** : and our parents made us match and well let’s just say we were both very uncomfortable 

**danny danny danny** : _sent a picture_ (Danny and Tim, as teenagers. Tim is approximately 17, and Danny is approximately 14. Danny is wearing a black suit with a dark red dress shirt, and Tim is wearing a dark red, sleeveless floor length dress. Danny is wearing sunglasses, and crossing his arms in a pose he probably thought made him look tough. Tim is crouching down so he’s the same height as Danny, and holding up two peace signs.)

**danny danny danny** : gaydies and gentlethem, the Stoker Brothers (circa 2000)

**The Aurora** : wjosskheiesm BEAUTIFUL

**Sasha Deserves Better** : Tim my love

**Sasha Deserves Better** : do you really have the same haircut you did in secondary?

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : yeah I kinda circled back to it

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : then I thought I was a lesbian. now I know I’m a bi man. they kinda have the same hairstyles 

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : ACTUALLY now that I think about it I kind of have completely circled back to being seventeen.

**Martin <3**: ...elaborate?

**Not Gunpowder Tim** : same haircut, hot girlfriend who’s good with computers, my friend group includes scary lesbian, mom friend, and my brother, stuck in a shitty job, constantly thinking about how to get out of here, thinks I’m the sexiest person in the room

**The Aurora** : imagine having confidence in secondary couldn’t have been me

**Nastya Rasputina** : ^^^

**First Mate** : ^^^


	47. Worst Case Scenario

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Suicide mention, discussion of funerals
> 
> I am very much not Muslim, but I did a lot of research for Basira’s part. In any case, if I got something wrong please let me know.
> 
> The Unknowing is in three chapters.

**Stopping The Unknowing**

**Daisy Tonner** : My job is to think of the worst case scenario.

**Daisy Tonner** : So how do you all want your funerals?

**Melanie King** : Jesus Christ.

**Daisy Tonner** : Look, I know no one wants to think about it. But if worst comes to worst, we’ll have this information in this chat.

**Daisy Tonner** : You don’t need a full plan, but any requests at all.

**Danny Stoker** : Who’s honestly thought about what they want at their funeral?

**Jonathan Sims** : Those with a morbid sense of humor, or those who’ve contemplated suicide.

**Danny Stoker** : Fair.

**Sasha James** : I started planning mine once we figured out we can’t quit.

**Daisy Tonner** : Okay, go one at a time and put it in the chat.

**Tim Stoker** : who’s going first?

**Sasha James** : I will, I guess.

**Sasha James** : I want to be buried. There’s a plot of land my family owns, three generations all buried together. I’ll send the location later but I’m gonna have to look through my phone. I want sunflowers. 

**Basira Hussain** : I’ll go next.

**Basira Hussain** : Funerals are a very big thing in Islamic culture. There’s a lot of very specific burial and funeral traditions. It’s a massive family and community event. A couple of my cousins and I are all orphans, so we’re prepared to do all the funeral rites for each other. I’ve already reached out to them, told them it could be a possibility. The only thing is my funeral needs to happen within three days of my death, so I’ll send you guys their contact information so you can let them know.

**Basira Hussain** : Traditionally, women don’t attend funerals. Because of this, I don’t actually want any of you to come to the funeral part. Again, it’s a very big cultural thing, and though you are all allowed to attend, there’s going to be people there that even I didn’t know, and I don’t want you guys to have any trouble. 

**Basira Hussain** : Besides, a silent funeral filled with strangers? That’s not me. That’s not who I am.

**Basira Hussain** : In Islamic culture, death isn’t a sad event. It’s natural to cry and mourn, but death isn’t the end for me. I’d like for you all to do something together. Celebrate my life. Don’t mourn my death.

**Melanie King** : not to make light of a very serious conversation but do you really have cousins you reach out to just to let them know you might be having a funeral soon?

**Basira Hussain** : Yes.

**Basira Hussain** : One of my cousins is a firefighter, I was a detective, we wanted to have it just in case. 

**Basira Hussain** : Needless to say, they were very concerned when I was calling funeral after quitting the force.

**Daisy Tonner** : I can only imagine.

**Gerry Keay** : I’ll go next.

**Gerry Keay** : If I die *again*, don’t tie me to a book and I’ll be happy. The first time I would have told you to cremate me, but it’s not like I have anything I’d like you to do with the ashes? I’ve got nowhere I liked enough to stay forever.

**Sasha James** : Spread them in Elias’ office so you can haunt his ass.

**Gerry Keay** : ^^^ do that.

**Daisy Tonner** : This is a serious conversation.

**Gerry Keay** : Yes ma’am, my apologies.

**Gerry Keay** : In that case, I legitimately don’t care what you do. Hell, just throw them away. Just... the idea of being buried freaks me out, even if I’m dead.

**Tim Stoker** : someone needs to say keep thoting it up in heaven at my funeral

**Daisy Tonner** : What did I literally just say? This isn’t a joke!

**Tim Stoker** : that wasn’t a joke 

**Tim Stoker** : you said any requests we have. that’s my request

**Tim Stoker** : also I want bleeding hearts

**Daisy Tonner** : What?

**Tim Stoker** : the flowers.

**Daisy Tonner** : Ah.

**Melanie King** : I don’t honestly think Martin and I are going to die. like what we’re doing is dangerous, but significantly less. either way, if I die I want to be buried near my dad. I’ll send the location later. also I want catnip planted on my grave so that cats come and rub up on my grave and passers by think I was some kind of cat goddess

**Tim Stoker** : I’d just like to say sorry to daisy who has had little to no interaction with us up to now and is trying to force us through a serious conversation 

**Melanie King** : again, that was a legitimate request. 

**Daisy Tonner** : honestly I’m just glad you didn’t want us to put the fucking date you became a meme on your headstone

**Melanie King** : fUck well now I want that

**Melanie King** : actually not really that was mortifying 

**Daisy Tonner** : Who’s left?

**Martin Blackwood** : I’ll go I guess?

**Martin Blackwood** : I don’t have much I want, haven’t really thought about it. But at the service I’d like it if someone read Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost.

**Sasha James** : can I ask?

**Sasha James** : in the whole world of poetry, why that one?

**Martin Blackwood** : It’s the first poem I ever loved. Also, there’s just something about the lines “But I have promises to keep / And miles to go before I sleep” that just have always stuck with me.

**Jonathan Sims** : I don’t want anything big. I’d like chrysanthemums. And I’d like for someone to perform/play Sleeping Beauty (The Mechanism’s song) but take the middle part out obviously.

**Tim Stoker** : we’re all sitting at your funeral, sobbing, and then it’s just “TAKE AURORA IN GENTLY NASTYA”

**Jonathan Sims** : As much as I’m sure you’d appreciate the levity, that’s not my intent.

**Tim Stoker** : yeah fair

**Daisy Tonner** : That’s everyone but me.

**Daisy Tonner** : All I want are daisies at the service, and to have “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” written on my headstone.

**Daisy Tonner** : Not that we’ll need this information, but we’ll have it just in case.

**Basira 🏵** _to_ **Daisy 🌼**

**Basira 🏵** : Daisy?

**Daisy 🌼** : Yes?

**Basira 🏵** : I know you.

**Basira 🏵** : And I know you don’t make team members do funeral planning unless you think something’s going to go wrong.

**Daisy 🌼** : and?

**Daisy 🌼** : We’re fighting a clown god. I fully expect this plan to fail.

**Daisy 🌼** : I don’t know how bad it’ll be, but we need to prepare for the possibility. 

**Basira 🏵** : Fair point.

**Basira 🏵** : Wait.

**Basira 🏵** : ...”How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”?

**Daisy 🌼** : yeah that’s the quote 

**Basira 🏵** : ...isn’t that from Winnie the Pooh?

**Daisy 🌼** : You got a problem with that?

**Basira 🏵** : Of course not!

**Basira 🏵** : But I am surprised no one else seemed to get it.

**Daisy 🌼** : Listen. They’re assholes, but they’re assholes who are scared of me. If they caught it, they’re not going to say anything.

**Basira 🏵** : Fair enough.


	48. Clown Party! *mimics dubstep*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Canon-typical Stranger content, references to canon-typical Spiral, depictions of grief, presumed character death
> 
> :)
> 
> y’all know how I said I was gonna make chapter 50 the Unknowing well turns out that was a bad idea. 
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated!

**Stopping The Unknowing**

_8:36_

**Tim Stoker** : good morning bitches!

**Tim Stoker** : are we ready to blow up some clowns + take down elias?

**Sasha James** : *high pitched screaming*

**Martin Blackwood** : ...

**Georgie Barker** : damn I really wish that “physically unable to feel scared” carried over to anxiety because I am Very Worried(TM)

**Tim Stoker** : thanks for the vote of confidence georgie

**Georgie Barker** : glad to be of assistance :)

**Jonathan Sims** : I don’t even know how to articulate what I’m feeling.

**Basira Hussain** : Me neither.

**Basira Hussain** : I want to say ‘dread’ but that seems too simple.

**Melanie King** : shouldn’t you be used to this by now?

**Daisy Tonner** : Look. There’s a difference between going in on a case that’s supposed to be “a bit weird” and going in on a case with a confirmed fear god.

**Gerry Keay** : “We’ll be fine,” I thought. “You’ve done this before,” I thought. Then Daisy implies she’s worried about it and now I’m scared.

**Daisy Tonner** : I didn’t mean to imply I was worried.

**Daisy Tonner** : I meant to say it outright.

**Gerry Keay** : oh yeah great thanks I feel so much better now

**Danny Stoker** : hey uh can we send updates here throughout the day? like to make sure everyone’s okay?

**Martin Blackwood** : ^^^

**Jonathan Sims** : Yes, I think we should. Just be smart about it. Don’t pull out your phone in the middle of battle or something.

**Melanie King** : “excuse me Miss Orsinov can you pause with the apocalypse for a minute I need to text the group chat”

**Tim Stoker** : “elias stop fucking screaming I’m trying to text my girlfriend”

**Sasha James** : Two types of people.

**Basira Hussain** : Wait, you never told us.

**Basira Hussain** : Sasha, what is it that you and Gerry are doing?

**Sasha James** : oh!

**Sasha James** : I think I’ve made a backup plan in case you Unknowing people get trapped inside.

**Sasha James** : I’ve been working on manipulating the Distortion corridors. I figured that the Spiral weirdness and the Stranger weirdness are close enough that it won’t effect me as harshly. For some reason, it’s easier for me to make the doors and control where they lead when I have someone with me. I’m guessing it’s got something to do with my Eye background. Working through the insanity to find the path. Or something else poetic like that.

**Basira Hussain** : Wait, but I thought Helen controlled the doors.

**Sasha James** : Helen is the doors. It’s complicated.

**Tim Stoker** : I hate to cut this conversation short, but we’re at the museum. 

**Georgie Barker** : Everyone stay safe. That’s an order.

**Daisy Tonner** : yes ma’am 

**Sasha James** : I love you guys. 

**Martin Blackwood** : Love you too.

**Jonathan Sims** : Let’s do this.

_1̴̢̢̮̤̰͕̪̥̜̞͍͋͒̃̈͐͛͆͋̿̒͘ͅͅ0̵̢̹͖̯͙͕̖̫̅̍̾̀̒̈̔͛̃͋̈́͝:̷̢̢̟͉̭̪̖̼͖̘̖͂̿̓̒4̷̮͗͐͌͒̊͋͠3̶̲̥̮̝̭̜̗̣̰͔͍̝̱́͛̂͗̂̈́͒͗̀͐͘͝_

**C̸̢̞͍͇̘͍̥͔̺̔͋̄̏͐̇̏̒̿͒̕͠ͅh̵̘͇̯͓̹̘̯̻͈͍͓̗̤̓͑̇̅͝͝ͅͅͅa̸̮̒̓̂́̑̌̄̋̀͆̿̚ţ̸̨̛̹̦͎̠̙̬͙̗͍̪̩̦̣̳́̿̋̄̇͛ ̴̢͛̀̂͗͗̈́͛̓͝N̵͉̥͔̹̻̙͓̐͒̾̅̎̾̅̇̿͐͆̈͛͘ͅa̵̮̖͚̫̪͉͊͑̓̽̇m̶̢̡̪̹͓̦̻̠͙͈͔͚̺͎̀͑̊̀̂̍̑͆̇́̕͘͝͝ͅe̴̼͕̬̟̤͖̩̞̝̻͐͑̅͛̑͊̓̅̑̔̈́̑̀͝** : w̴͕̞͕̰͇̮͎̘̬͑ͅh̵̦̯̥̳͕̘̯͇͇̬̮͓͌̽ȩ̴̡̬̪̦͇͓̠͖̯̭͎͙̊̉͒̆͛̓̎̉̍͊͆͘ŕ̷͍̫̖̭̣͖͍͓̥̟̺͕̣̉̊̚͘e̸͖͙̯̹̓̓͒̑̊͂̃̈́͘͝ ̶̢̨̲̩͓̞̮͙̲͔͚̺͚͍̥͒̇̅̄͜͝a̵̡̱̠̪̟̼͕̐̈́̆̅̇̾̈̒̈́̚m̶̨̱̘̱̖̙̻͖̹̬̙͓͐̃͛̀͌̌̋̄̚ ̴̨̨̞̲͕̝͔̫́͊Ĭ̶̹͈̠̺̺̪͙̊͂͂̆͆̃͐̀̀́̕?̴̹͚͂͜ͅͅ ̴̢̡̛̗̱͕̗͈̱̜̦͔͇͔̫͓̣̈́͌̈́͛͝͠

**Georgie Barker** : uh is anyone else seeing this??

**Danny Stoker** : why does it just say Chat Name?? 

**Gerry Keay** : More importantly, why is it all glitchy?

**C̸̢̞͍͇̘͍̥͔̺̔͋̄̏͐̇̏̒̿͒̕͠ͅh̵̘͇̯͓̹̘̯̻͈͍͓̗̤̓͑̇̅͝͝ͅͅͅa̸̮̒̓̂́̑̌̄̋̀͆̿̚ţ̸̨̛̹̦͎̠̙̬͙̗͍̪̩̦̣̳́̿̋̄̇͛ ̴̢͛̀̂͗͗̈́͛̓͝N̵͉̥͔̹̻̙͓̐͒̾̅̎̾̅̇̿͐͆̈͛͘ͅa̵̮̖͚̫̪͉͊͑̓̽̇m̶̢̡̪̹͓̦̻̠͙͈͔͚̺͎̀͑̊̀̂̍̑͆̇́̕͘͝͝ͅe̴̼͕̬̟̤͖̩̞̝̻͐͑̅͛̑͊̓̅̑̔̈́̑̀͝** : ẅ̶̡̧̼̰̤̀͐̊h̴̛̜͍͖̩̉͝ą̷͈̤̥̻̯͇͚̩̳̰̜̈́͌̅́̿́̇̃͑̉͐̈́͝ṫ̸̮̲͙̖̟̭̩̋͌́͊̒͆ͅ ̵̤͖͉̻̳͇̖̬̼͉̻̞̌̈́͐̏̓͜ị̶̛̩̼͔͓̭̦͕̙͕̩̞͎̜͋͑͋̉͆̅͒͠ͅs̷̱̟̠̥̟̼̟̪̼͛̏̋̄̊͌ ̵̡̛̛̮̜̩̭̜̜͚͌̐̎̇͗͋͊͑͌̉̇̚̕͠ȟ̵̙̺̮̰̫͎̯̾̽͗̈́̈́̉͒̐͗̿̃̍̓ã̶̦͖͚͖̗̼̗̲͙̹̰̱́̐͑͊̏̆́̚̕ṕ̷̻͇̖̜̥͖͓̗̟̮̩͙̹̼̬̔́̾̄̆͑̀͘p̸͓̰̘̊̍͌͋͌͒͊̑̄̈́̑̐̐͒̚͝ͅe̸̡͔͌̂̿̅̈͊̌͋͛̈́̒̚͘͝͠n̷̛͔̪̞̻̲̪̘̰̟̑̅̋͗̆͒͆͊̐į̵̨̛̛̜͕̺̖̱͍͕͗̾̍̆̽̄̾͒͘͘ͅn̷̢̹̻̑͐͂̀g̴̫̅̂̃̑͆̇͛̈͛̊͝?̸̨͙͚̞̯͖̤̼̫͋̾̄̓͗

**Sasha James** : this is what the text looks like Helen texts sometimes but I didn’t see her door? I don’t think it’s her

**Melanie King** : well if the Spiral and the Stranger are similar, maybe it’s the Unknowing group

**C̸̢̞͍͇̘͍̥͔̺̔͋̄̏͐̇̏̒̿͒̕͠ͅh̵̘͇̯͓̹̘̯̻͈͍͓̗̤̓͑̇̅͝͝ͅͅͅa̸̮̒̓̂́̑̌̄̋̀͆̿̚ţ̸̨̛̹̦͎̠̙̬͙̗͍̪̩̦̣̳́̿̋̄̇͛ ̴̢͛̀̂͗͗̈́͛̓͝N̵͉̥͔̹̻̙͓̐͒̾̅̎̾̅̇̿͐͆̈͛͘ͅa̵̮̖͚̫̪͉͊͑̓̽̇m̶̢̡̪̹͓̦̻̠͙͈͔͚̺͎̀͑̊̀̂̍̑͆̇́̕͘͝͝ͅe̴̼͕̬̟̤͖̩̞̝̻͐͑̅͛̑͊̓̅̑̔̈́̑̀͝** : h̵̨̡̛̟̺̻̼̮̳͙̹̖̻̮͈̀̐̒͆̆̑̔̊̀͐̾͝͝ͅę̴͔̬̟̫̺̯͚̈́͑́̐͗̏̑̕͘͝l̸̤̮͉̓̿̿͐͛̃͛͌̌͊̂̃̄͘͠͝p̴̢̧͎̠̰̲̠̫̹̹̹̣̈́̉̏̊̓̿̓͑̈̾͗ͅ ̶͎̩̥̯̞͈͖̱̤̈́̽m̸̹̪̓͛̈́̊͘ȅ̵͉̝̜͙̤̖̭̫̥̯͕͉

**C̸̢̞͍͇̘͍̥͔̺̔͋̄̏͐̇̏̒̿͒̕͠ͅh̵̘͇̯͓̹̘̯̻͈͍͓̗̤̓͑̇̅͝͝ͅͅͅa̸̮̒̓̂́̑̌̄̋̀͆̿̚ţ̸̨̛̹̦͎̠̙̬͙̗͍̪̩̦̣̳́̿̋̄̇͛ ̴̢͛̀̂͗͗̈́͛̓͝N̵͉̥͔̹̻̙͓̐͒̾̅̎̾̅̇̿͐͆̈͛͘ͅa̵̮̖͚̫̪͉͊͑̓̽̇m̶̢̡̪̹͓̦̻̠͙͈͔͚̺͎̀͑̊̀̂̍̑͆̇́̕͘͝͝ͅe̴̼͕̬̟̤͖̩̞̝̻͐͑̅͛̑͊̓̅̑̔̈́̑̀͝** : I̴͇͍̪͚͚͍̗͛̽͒̆̃͆̿͛̋̓̚ ̴̢̢͙̩̻̪̠͇̹̳̙̣̟͕̋̏̿ͅd̴̡̡̻͓̹͍͌͒͌̋́͑̂͠͠ͅͅo̸̡̩͕̻͇̻͍̎̒̏̌̿̃͝n̸̢͉̰̹̝̞̯̩̊̀̀̑̈́͊̐́́̂̔͑̌̾͝’̸͓̳̞͇́͛͒͗͐̏͘̚͝t̵̡̨̩͈͙̓̀̆ ̶̺̻̖͍̯̜̟̋ù̴̡̢̜͉͈̺̞͈̉̔̐͠ͅn̶̢̝͎̱̹̩̫̓͊͛͐̒͆̈́̈́̕͝͝d̶̛̯̪͖̞̣̊̒̇̈̓̇̀̔͜e̷͕͙̩̪͈͇̓͒̎͒r̶̡̢̖̝͍̗̠̦̹͚̪̈́͐̕ͅs̴͖̪͔͕̟̈́t̵̺̣̥̐̿͊̓̔̃̈̚͝͝a̴͎̺̔̎̃͌̐̚ń̶͇̹͇̈͂́̀͠ḑ̴͔̥̜͚͙̙̞͍͖͔̺̓̿͜͝

**Sasha James** : It must be how their messages are being processed.

**Sasha James** : that’s it. we’re going in.

**Gerry Keay** : shit I was worried you’d say that 

**C̸̢̞͍͇̘͍̥͔̺̔͋̄̏͐̇̏̒̿͒̕͠ͅh̵̘͇̯͓̹̘̯̻͈͍͓̗̤̓͑̇̅͝͝ͅͅͅa̸̮̒̓̂́̑̌̄̋̀͆̿̚ţ̸̨̛̹̦͎̠̙̬͙̗͍̪̩̦̣̳́̿̋̄̇͛ ̴̢͛̀̂͗͗̈́͛̓͝N̵͉̥͔̹̻̙͓̐͒̾̅̎̾̅̇̿͐͆̈͛͘ͅa̵̮̖͚̫̪͉͊͑̓̽̇m̶̢̡̪̹͓̦̻̠͙͈͔͚̺͎̀͑̊̀̂̍̑͆̇́̕͘͝͝ͅe̴̼͕̬̟̤͖̩̞̝̻͐͑̅͛̑͊̓̅̑̔̈́̑̀͝** : I̵͓͕̜͔̜̱͑͆̓͗̽̒͊̀̒͘͝ ̵̧̹̣̹̜̤͉̗̟̭̯̖͒͑͌̓̾͊̏̿́̈́͘ͅḑ̷̢̜̻͖̱̠̮̪̝̦̩̳̱̼̋̀̍̋̊̔͛̃͠ͅo̴͈͓͓͚̿̈́͒͑̏̍͑̽̋̆͊̏̔̂͂͘ņ̴̡̞̺͖̰̦̳̜͕͎̉̍͌̀’̷̢̨͍̮̟͎̺̼̭͇̈́͋̃̅̉͑t̷̟̭̺̰͗́̓̂̌̅̐̍̀̀̊͋̕ ̷͙̅̀́l̶͇̹̩̼͓̈́̓̿̌̑̋͗͠ī̵̫̬̳̦̭͋͘k̵͎̰͒̊̓̂̋́̉̆̔̄͆̐ę̷̬̖̙̜̗̣͈̜̳̖̩͙͉̰̠̊͊͗͊̈́̈́̏̌̚ ̸̦̱̈́̄̔͜t̶̢̬̞̻̪̠̀̌̓̀̾̈́́̆̅͛̊̈́̒̕͠ȟ̵͇͓͍͉́ȋ̸̢̧̢̝̜̖̜̘͎̻̼̱̺̯̖̞̏̾̋̽̕͘ş̵̛͎͓͉̻̐̋̈́̏̒̓͗̆͛̾͛̓͜͠͝ͅ.̶̡̡͇̺̦͇̦̳̙͖̼͍̮͚̍̓ ̵̛̜̟̺̏̈͑̅̽̒̏̿̽͆̔̿̕͝

**Sasha James** : I don’t know if anyone is getting these but hold on. we’re coming.

_12:17_

**Melanie King** : Elias has been arrested. Please give us good news.

_12:32_

**Melanie King** : ? 

**Melanie King** : is the world going to end or what?

**Georgie Barker** : Melanie shut up.

**Melanie King** : just figured the rest of us should know

**Georgie Barker** : give them a minute.

**Melanie King** : it’s been nearly 30. I’m freaking out.

**Danny Stoker** : Just give them a little more time. 

_12:49_

**Gerry Keay** : The Unknowing was stopped.

**Melanie King** : oh thank fuck

**Martin Blackwood** : !!!

**Martin Blackwood** : Okay now everyone come home.

**Gerry Keay** : ...

**Gerry Keay** : I’m sorry, I should have phrased that differently or something.

**Gerry Keay** : We stopped the Unknowing.

**Gerry Keay** : But not everyone is coming home.

**Georgie Barker** : What?

**Gerry Keay** : We probably shouldn’t talk about this over text.

**Georgie Barker** : It’s faster. Fucking tell us what happened.

**Gerry Keay** : Getting in and out of the Unknowing through the doors wasn’t as easy as we thought. We were only able to make one trip before the building exploded.

**Gerry Keay** : The first responders are still searching the wreckage but at the moment Jon, Daisy and Basira are missing.

**Gerry Keay** : We’re staying until they’re found.

_13:14_

**Tim Stoker** : Update-

**Tim Stoker** : Basira is okay. She managed to escape by herself. They found Jon and took him to the hospital, not 100% clear what’s going on with his condition. Daisy’s still missing.

**Tim Stoker** : sasha and I are going to follow them to the hospital, and gerry and basira are waiting for daisy

_13:51_

**Gerry Keay** : The first responders didn’t find Daisy’s body. She’s been officially pronounced dead.

**Melanie King** : oh god

**Georgie Barker** : I’m so sorry

_14:24_

**Tim Stoker** : uh

**Tim Stoker** : So Jon isn’t breathing, his heart’s not beating, but he has brain activity.

**Tim Stoker** : Like he’s the opposite of brain dead. He should be dead but he’s alive.

**Tim Stoker** : We’re getting him transferred to a hospital in London. Gerry and Basira, you guys can go back, this could still take a while.

**Gerry Keay** : Alright.

**Georgie Barker** : That’s impossible

**Georgie Barker** : you can’t have brain activity without heart activity

**Tim Stoker** : yeah, the doctors are very confused

**Tim Stoker** : That’s Jon I guess. doing the impossible. breaking laws of science.

**Daisy 🌼** _to_ **Basira 🏵**

_12:01_

**Daisy 🌼** : Hey.

**Daisy 🌼** : So, there’s no really nice way to say this. If you’re getting these messages, something went wrong. Most likely, I’m dead.

**Daisy 🌼** : But I set up these automated messages to go off before we left. And yeah, I’ve done this for every big dangerous thing we’ve gone to do together.

**Daisy 🌼** : You know me, I always have to have the last word.

**Daisy 🌼** : But I’m not very good with words, so I have to borrow some more from Winnie the Pooh. Mock my source material all you want, it’s a damn good book series.

**Daisy 🌼** : “If there’s ever a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.”

**Daisy 🌼** : Yes, it’s cheesy. But it’s true.

**Daisy 🌼** : You’re the bravest, strongest, smartest person I know, and you made me better just by being near me. Thank you. 

**Daisy 🌼** : I love you, Basira.

**Basira 🏵** : You fucking bitch.

**Basira 🏵** : I hate you.

**Basira 🏵** : come back please come back

**Basira 🏵** : I love you too.

**Basira 🏵** : just please come back to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	49. Another Author Interlude (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> me to me: bitch again? you’re doing this again?

To all my lovely readers,

First of all, thank you all so much for (at the time of writing this) 18,245 hits, 140 bookmarks, 756 comments and 949 kudos! I am overwhelmed by the attention this fic has gotten over the last few months. Thank you for your continuous support, even after I went from publishing three chapters a day to one chapter every week or so.

A lot of shit has happened over the months I’ve been writing this. I know I don’t need to tell you guys that. A lot of bad things, yes, but good things too.

I’m going to be taking the next two chapters to do a second Q+A, as I wrap up my retelling of Season Three. I had so much fun last time, and I’m sure it’ll be fun again. For me at least. Do y’all actually like reading about the making-of stuff?

Don’t worry about repeating questions. I’ll willingly answer questions again! You can ask me about the fic, about the podcast up to the current episode, about the Mechanisms, about my personal life, or anything else! Again, I love answering questions.

Thank you all,

drunkspacearchivist

PS: you can also come bug me on Tumblr @drunkspacearchivist


	50. The Chat Is Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Tim Stoker** : yep. you’re stuck with us.
> 
>  **Martin Blackwood** : oh no. the horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Depictions of grief
> 
> It’s been awhile, but my sibling bullied me into writing. Here’s some words.

**I’m Sad And Gay (The Musical!)**

**First Mate** _has left the chat_

 **SYSTEM INFORMATION** : The moderater of this chat has left. This chat will no longer be available. Text SAVE to save past messages.

 **Martin <3**: save

 **Sasha Deserves Better** : save

 **Not Gunpowder Tim** : save

 **Ashes O’Reilly** : save

 **Nastya Rasputina** : save

 **The Aurora** : save

 **danny danny danny** : save

 **Gerry Keay** : save

_________________________

**Stopping The Unknowing**

**Jonathan Sims** _has left the chat_

 **SYSTEM INFORMATION** : The moderater of this chat has left. This chat will no longer be available. Text SAVE to save past messages.

 **Tim Stoker** : save the failed plan? yeah fuck no

 **SYSTEM INFORMATION** : ERROR. Text SAVE to save past messages. Ignore to delete.

_____________________________

 **Sasha James** _started a group chat_

 **Sasha James** _added _**Tim Stoker** , **Martin Blackwood** , **Melanie King** , **Georgie Barker** , **Gerry Keay** , **Danny Stoker** , _and_ **Basira Hussain** _to the chat___

__**Sasha James** _renamed the chat_ **I Guess We Need A New Chat**_ _

__**Sasha James** : it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long but I guess _ _

__**Melanie King** : it’s been a whole month since the unknowing?_ _

__**Georgie Barker** : you ever think you’re actually finally getting better and then life hits you with “the chat broke because he wasn’t here to pay the phone bill”_ _

__**Martin Blackwood** : ^^_ _

__**Tim Stoker** : uh give me a bit and I’ll make fun nicknames today is just Not Good_ _

__**Sasha James** : take your time <3_ _

__**Danny Stoker** : hey I know I’m not really a part of the group, like I don’t know you all as well, but if anyone needs anything I’m here._ _

__**Gerry Keay** : Same here._ _

__**Georgie Barker** : Thanks guys :)_ _

__**Tim Stoker** : ..._ _

__**Tim Stoker** : so uh_ _

__**Tim Stoker** : what are we supposed to talk about now?_ _

__**Sasha James** : I... don’t know_ _

__**Sasha James** : At what point are we supposed to go back to normal?_ _

__**Melanie King** : meh might as well start now_ _

__**Melanie King** : like you gotta start healing at some point right?_ _

__**Georgie Barker** : uh, kind of?_ _

__**Sasha James** : That’s actually not a terrible idea_ _

__**Melanie King** : don’t sound so surprised _ _

__**Sasha James** : Can we make a deal with each other? _ _

__**Sasha James** : I know that you can’t actually, like, turn your grief off or anything. But maybe today we start to move on. I’m not saying that it’s not okay to be sad, but maybe we spend less time just sitting and being sad. We start healing. We start putting life back to normal._ _

__**Sasha James** : does that make sense? is that a horrible idea?_ _

__**Tim Stoker** : I think I know what you’re saying and no it’s not a horrible idea. I’m down_ _

__**Georgie Barker** : it’s going to be hard, but... life has to go forward. If you guys are with me, I think I can do it <3_ _

__**Martin Blackwood** : ^^_ _

__**Tim Stoker** : martin mate I’m bullying you into writing one (1) full response_ _

__**Martin Blackwood** : :/_ _

__**Tim Stoker** : that is not a full response _ _

__**Martin Blackwood** : :(_ _

__**Sasha James** : Martin I accept your responses babe_ _

__**Sasha James** : leave him alone Tim_ _

__**Martin Blackwood** : haha suck it Tim_ _

__**Melanie King** : akakjsks_ _

__**Melanie King** : also I’m good_ _

__**Sasha James** : Okay._ _

__**Sasha James** : what should we talk about now?_ _

__**Tim Stoker** : I actually have a Question_ _

__**Tim Stoker** : now that elias is in jail who the fuck is running the institute??_ _

__**Danny Stoker** : his equally creepy twin brother, Melias_ _

__**Georgie Barker** : once you guys get him arrested you have to beat the final boss, the triplet Pelias _ _

__**Martin Blackwood** : Pelias has two heads but, ironically, only one eye_ _

__**Sasha James** : EYEronically_ _

__**Gerry Keay** : akssiisnsdhs_ _

__**Gerry Keay** : But seriously though we need to talk about Peter Lukas._ _

__**Gerry Keay** : The Lonely is not an entity to fuck around with. Gertrude said it was perhaps the most dangerous, because of the way it operates. _ _

__**Gerry Keay** : It isolates a person, convinces then that no one can help them, so you don’t know it’s happening until it’s too late._ _

__**Gerry Keay** : I don’t want to scare any of you, obviously, but we just need to be careful._ _

__**Gerry Keay** : Actually, what we’re doing now is great. As long as we stick together, Peter Lukas can’t hurt us._ _

__**Tim Stoker** : aye aye captain_ _

__**Tim Stoker** : but my main point was that I haven’t actually met him? I got an email to go up and talk to him but he didn’t show up. I sat there for like thirty minutes._ _

__**Sasha James** : same here_ _

__**Melanie King** : I saw him when El*as was arrested, but only for a minute. He didn’t seem to notice me._ _

__**Martin Blackwood** : I guess I win?_ _

__**Martin Blackwood** : I’ve seen him twice. He talked to me for a minute when Elias got arrested, and then he actually showed up to the meeting we were supposed to have. It only lasted about ten minutes, though. I started talking about you guys, and he kind of cut me off and said that’d be all. I haven’t seen him since._ _

__**Gerry Keay** : As long as we keep our distance, we should stay safe. But it seems he doesn’t want much to do with us anyways. He can tell that none of us are lonely enough to become Lonely._ _

__**Martin Blackwood** : Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you guys. I think maybe if we weren’t friends, he’d be able to take me. I think he knew that too._ _

__**Sasha James** : Well, there’s no way we’re leaving you now._ _

__**Tim Stoker** : yep. you’re stuck with us._ _

__**Martin Blackwood** : oh no. the horror._ _

__

____________________

__**Basira 🏵** _to_ **Daisy 🌼**_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Hello, Daisy._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Jon’s phone got turned off today. All of the group chats got deleted. I’m going to keep paying yours as long as I can._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Sasha made a new group chat. Can’t say I like having my phone blow up with whatever trivial shit they’re talking about. I don’t think they’d let me leave, though._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : They made some type of deal to move on, or something. Like they’re all going to just forget about what happened. I didn’t agree to that, and I’m not going to. They didn’t notice though, so that’s good._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Everyone’s doing the whole “poor Martin” thing, too. I’m over it. Oh no, the poor thing, his boyfriend isn’t even dead but we’re going to shower him with our pity!_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : I don’t get why he’s supposed to be upset. Jon isn’t dead. And it’s not like they’d been together for that long anyways. It’s not like me and you._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : In other news, Peter Lukas talked to me again. He’s not nearly as bad as they make him out to be, Daisy. Sure, he’s creepy. He gives off bad vibes. But he’s nice to me. And he can’t be any worse than Elias, right?_ _

__**Basira 🏵** : He keeps dropping not-very-subtle hints about wanting an assistant. I think he’s going to offer the job to me. Maybe I’ll take it just so I don’t have to be around the archive people anymore._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : I thought I liked them before. I was wrong. I barely know them. And they don’t know me. Worse, none of them knew you. They don’t even notice you’re gone. And every day you’re gone my heart feels like it’s going to explode. So I can’t be around them. They don’t understand it. You were wonderful, and they never got to see that. They never even tried to see that._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : It’s getting late. I’m going to try and get some sleep. Maybe I’ll get lucky and I’ll dream of you again._ _

__**Basira 🏵** : Good night, Daisy. I love you._ _


End file.
